Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sometimes, I get a little overly protective

Max now has his very own car wash—well, at least the toy version, given that buying him a real one is pretty much not in our budget. Mindy, a reader who's heard tell of his obsession, e-mailed me about the above, the Alex Car Wash Floating Tub Playcenter. I ran, not walked, to Amazon to order it. I knew the handle might be a little hard for him to use, but given that his iPad and Proloquo2Go app have basically taught him to use his pointer finger, I thought this could encourage him to turn things. It arrived last night and I left it for Max at his place at the table to surprise him.

Sabrina saw it first this morning and came zooming upstairs. "I want to open Max's toy!" she said. She walked over to our bed, where Max was watching Phineas and Ferb. "Maaaa-aaaaax," she said in that special sing-song voice she reserves for putting one over on him. "Can I open your new car wash?"

Max wasn't quite sure what to make of the fact that he had a car wash to open.

I jumped right in: "Max, we got you a car wash toy! And no, Sabrina, you can't open it—it's for Max." I know it's a common instinct for siblings to want each other's toys but still, I was a little peeved with Sabrina. She knows how much he loves all things car wash.

It sometimes takes me by surprise me how protective I am of Max. Because of his challenges with talking, I am his voice, his protector, his savior. I should patent the evil stare I give to people when they blatantly stare at him—The Death Glare. So, yeah, I'm even overly protective when it comes to his little sis, my own flesh and blood. One very conniving flesh and blood.

I'm not alone in these feelings. "No, no, no, Sabrina," said our babysitter, speaking even more firmly than I did. "You know that's for Max! He's going to open it! End of story!"

Even Dave (aka Mushball Dad) had this to offer: "Sweetie, Mommy got that for Max!"

Sadly, I had to run and catch the train to work before I could see what went down with the car wash. But I called home and Max was happily playing with it—and, yes, he'd given Sabrina a turn.

This overprotection thing: I don't think it's uncommon among parents of kids with special powers.


  1. When you buy a toy for Max, do you get something for Sabrina? I am not trying to critique your parenting, I love your blog, but I can see where Sabrina would be jealous. I know Max has special powers and needs toys like these to motivate him to try new things, but I can totally see where Sabrina would get jealous in the moment where Max gets a toy and she does not. This is perfectly normal and not conniving or a "wrong" emotion for her to feel, even if she understand that Max has special powers. Kids notice these kids of things, you know?

  2. I am constantly reminding my three year old that Owen can't hear her in most situations. She gets mad about the captions on the tv, and that the music in the car is too loud. tough crap little one, big Deaf brother comes first.

    I'm a meanie.

  3. I am glad that he likes the car wash!!!

    Also, I just got an email from Parents Connect (nickelodeon)with their Parents Pick 2010 awards. Congrats on being runner-up in the top 5 parenting blogs!!!


  4. Kate, I'm typically even-handed when getting the kids stuff. Sometimes, though, I pick up things just for Sabrina. (Max doesn't really notice/care, so there's no war over that.) So I have no problem picking up stuff just for Max on occasion, even if Sabrina does.

    And Erin, yeah, you're a meanie.

    And Mindy, thanks!

  5. I don't think you're being overprotective. I think you're showing Sabrina that sometimes it's just not her turn, which is a good (and hard) thing to learn. Noah thinks HE should also get presents at Addison's birthday. Probably because the grandparents have done that over the years. He is convinced he'll get a DS later this month, for her birthday. Um. No. Maybe a Matchbox car. Not a DS.
    Our issues are more around attention. Noah loves to tell Addison that she already had her turn cuddling mommy and that now she has to wait while he does it. It's actually very cute, partly because she rarely takes no for an answer and just climbs up anyway.

  6. That is so me!! I am overprotective to the point of hindering his development sometimes. I catch myself most of the time though and try really hard to let go...

  7. It's kinda nice that she doesn't give him a break in the sibling rivalry dept and I'm sure he won't either, in his own way and time.

    What I discovered with my own special guy, even only children have sibling rivalry! Just another reason I love "Playful Parenting" - they have a chapter on playing around with sibling rivalry.

  8. Am so happy to hear that Max has his very own car wash!

    We get stares too and our daughter is only one - I'm a little suprised honestly that it has started already for us. I was just wondering how you deal with this and if you ever respond to the stares.

    It makes me so angry when people stare at our daughter and don't offer a smile. Our daughter survived bacterial meningitis, which we almost lost her to and the poor baby has been through pure hell this last year getting poked and messed with by doctors, nurses, and therapists.

    The reason they stare is because when we're out of the house, she's incredibly sleepy because of the anti-seizure med's she's on. Some people stop to tell me how cute she is, but the ones who stare and I know what they're thinking ('what's wrong with that baby' or 'why is she so sleepy'), they make me so angry! If you're not going to smile, then look somewhere else!

  9. My mom won't let me stay home alone, but I am an independent person. I cried myself to sleep as an infant, but I was so small and cute my mom could not leave me alone. I still look younger than I really am (so does my mom).


Thanks for sharing!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...