Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I faked it at Mary Kay

I went to a Mary Kay party tonight, my first one. A very cool local mom is a sales consultant, she has a kid with special powers, and I wanted to hang with her.

The thing is, I barely wear any makeup. Sheer face powder and lipstick, that's it, and blush on occasion (actually, it's this Benefit pink face powder) when I'm sleep deprived and look a little like a dead person.
I used to wear mascara, but after Max was born I quit because I cried incessantly that first year of his life. I can't stand waterproof mascara; my lashes always fall out when I remove it and I don't have many lashes to spare.

The au naturale thing is genetic; my mom is the most spartan person ever. She'd never even had a manicure until she was seventysomething, when my sister got married. She's big on lipstick, however. Her first words to me whenever she sees me are, "You should put some lipstick on." I could show up at her house with leprosy and she'd say, "You should put some lipstick on."

Tonight, when I walked into the Mary Kay party, the ladies (and they were definitely ladies) were slathering on hand cream and they offered me some. "Call me weird, I don't like hand cream," I said, their first sign of what a Mary Kay wallflower they were dealing with.

I learned about the skincare stuff, which seemed creamy and nice and all but my skin is pretty low-maintenance. If I were inventing Mary Kay products, I'd create a skincare line called "Better Than..."—"Better Than Sleep," "Better Than a Tropical Vacation," "Better Than Being Gisele." Than I could make the big bucks and retire and get lots of sleep and I'd never again look like a zombie with pink face powder. But I kept my mouth shut because I wouldn't want to put my friend out of business. She's really sweet.

When she gushed about this one anti-wrinkle cream all the reps said they'd want if they were stuck on a desert island, I pointed out, "But nobody would be there to see their wrinkles!" at which point I am sure she was sorry she'd invited me. Then I tried on a really pretty lip gloss (which I ordered) and she put some eyeshadow on one of my eyes, so I could see the contrast between them, only I didn't. I've never understood the purpose of eyeshadow. Then I had to get home to relieve the babysitter and show her my eye.

I decided to quiz Dave when he came home to see if he might appreciate me in more makeup.

Me: "Guess what kind of makeup I wear!"
Dave: "Lipstick! That's it."
Me: "What color lipstick?"
Dave: "You wear pink."
Me: "Do you want me to wear more makeup or less?"
Dave: "Less."
Me: "So you want me to wear no makeup at all?"
Dave: "How about nail polish?"
Me: "What color?"
Dave: "French tip!"
Me: "You know what a French manicure is?"
Dave: "Of course I know! Isn't it like two colors?"
Me: "What colors?"
Dave: "It's peach and white. Am I right?"
Me: "Yes! How do you know that?
Dave: "I don't know. I just know."

I love him.

So, what makeup do you wear every day?



  1. I'm lucky if I bathe regularly, let alone wear make-up.

    I wonder how those 'put together' dolled up Moms do it?!?!?

  2. I don't wear makeup every day. Now that I'm getting older, I think maybe I should!

    But, if I'm going to be seeing lots of people, I wear pretty much the whole thing--eye shadow, liner, mascara, foundation, concealer, blush, and lipstick! I guess I'm an all or nothing kind of gal.

    And I'm shocked you didn't see a difference with the eye shadow--I LURVE eye shadow and think it makes such a difference.

  3. Well, none, actually. I do splurge on hypoallergenic soap-my one indulgence! In my line of work, kitchen grease doesn't mix too well with cosmetics!

  4. I use a high quality sunscreen built in daily lotion (Lancome) - we pasty white with red splotch people can't be too careful - and I use concealer for said red zones, then very light foundation (Mary Kay has the best match to my pale skin) then eyeshadow and eyeliner. Somtime I fill in the outer edges of my eyebrows, as I lack a full set. I cannot stand to wear lipstick.

    I figure if I never host one of those thing parties, then I don't have to attend. I just don't go anymore. I hate it when suddenly I MUST have the egg separator for $15 or whatever it is. Bleah.

  5. I wear burtbees lipbalm. That's it. Once in a bluemoon I'll do the powders and shadows, and it really looks nice, but I can't be bothered. I'm not convinced it's good for my skin either.

  6. "You should put some lipstick on." LOL! My mom tells me the same thing! When I was little, I could come home from school, find her still in her PJS, but you better believe she had lipstick on!

    I am such a disappointment to my mom. I'm lucky if I remember to use face moisturizer with SPF. I own ONE tube of lipstick--which Mom bought me the last time she visited. Actually, she went to CVS and bought me 5 tubes of lipsticks ranging in color from neon orange to blazing, fire truck red. The only one I didn't trash was the one whose color I thought actually resembled a shade of pink lips would actually be.

    I wore said lipstick last Sunday for a baby shower. (I even wore a dress--with leggings, but still a dress!) Bertrand, my 2 year-old son, couldn't stop staring, with a horrified expression, at my mouth! "Mommy there is a monster on your lips! I think you are turning into the clown from Stephen King's "It"!"

    Yeah, I ended up wiping most of it off before I left the house.

  7. I have committed a worse offense...I was an Avon Rep for 8 years.Not only do I NOT wear cosmetics on a regular basis, but I do a crappy job of taking care of my skin. My orders were delivered in my favorite outfit of jeans and t-shirt with my youngest child in tow--sometimes I visited for a while so I could nurse him!

  8. This made me laugh out loud! I used to be a MK consultant in my life before marruage & kids. I am now my consultant's worst customer. I told her I refuse to host anything, hawk anything or try all the spa stuff, etc. I DO, however, use the facial cleanser and a tinted moisturizer. That's it. I wear mascara when I have to be "on show" like for the Easter Seals dinner we attended last week. That's it. I cry, too, and I don't have enough lashes to sacrifice to waterproof. (Though, I must say, MK DOES have an awesome oil-free eye makeup remover which is great when I DO wear mascara!)

    I just figure, when I lead the kind of life which requires me to be "dolled up" then I'll worry about those things. Til then? WAY bigger fish to fry!

  9. I do it all, concealer, foundation, powder, blush, eye liner, eye shadow, and mascara. I don't feel right if my face isn't done, I just can't pull off the natural look! I envy those that can. I usually don't get my hair done though, it's washed every day just not always styled. I usually just pull it back.

  10. This post was hilarious!

    I love my eyelash curler; I swear its an addiction! My sister gave me Sheer Cover Extra Length mascara and it's my fave! However these days I don't muster up the effort to do much make-uping... My husband would agree with Dave, minus know what a french tip is... :)

  11. I'm with Cassie - I don't feel right without makeup. and I can't go au naturale very well. I just feel more confident with makeup. and I have the application of it down to a science, so it takes me less than 5 minutes.

  12. None :) I wear makeup once a month, maybe. My sister, god love her, just sent me a ton of makeup in hopes that I'll start wearing it. I don't have the heart to tell her I let Bitsy pick what she wanted first ha ha

  13. huspand told me my wedding night that i looked really pretty but I had way to much makeup on...the sad thing is that i really didn't have much makeup on at all. Just that he usually saw me working at the pet store when i wore absolutly no makeup except concealer under my eyes to hide the late night out look :-) Oh well, I thought I looked pretty but i still don't wear much.

  14. I usually don't go out without concealer on under my eyes. I have really, really pale skin and so my gigantic under-eye circles stand out a lot, and whenever I don't wear under-eye concealer people think I'm sick or something. That's what happens when've you haven't slept through an entire night in four years!

    Sometimes if I'm going out to dinner I'll put on blush, mascara and lipstick too, but mostly I keep it simple. I have ridiculously long eyelashes, so if I wear mascara it often makes it look like I've got fake eyelashes on. That's not exactly a look I'm going for!


  15. My daily makeup routine varies from chapstick (really, Bert's Bees lip balm) and nothing. If I have an important enough meeting at work, I'll sometimes put on real makeup... but even that's pretty rare. I value sleep too much to get up 10 minutes earlier to put on makeup. :)

  16. Mascara is really a must for me, but I almost never put it on for the same reason that you stopped. It's usually cried-off by noon. My mother is a lipstick lady too...feels naked without it. I can't wear anything on my lips except Carmex...I get this weird dry mouth and have to wipe it off.

  17. That is so funny! You might not be invited to the next Mary Kay party. haha

    I don't wear makeup either. Once in a while I might do eye liner and some mascara. Even more rarely - lipstick or gloss. I really don't like the waxy feel of mascara and some lipsticks. I am a more natural girl, although as I get older I think I should change that, but would rather save that energy for other things. I have naturally curly hair, so if my hair looks brushed and isn't frizzy, then I am doing well!

  18. I'm not sure how to answer that question.

    I don't wear make-up, though I do shave my back.

  19. Hahahaha @ "You should put some lipstick on"....
    I only wear lip balm along with red lip gloss and Eye liner :)
    In special ocassions, I put on some Mascara.

  20. I love the names of your skin care line. You could totally sell that s**t.

    And I only wear Bare Minerals to even out sucky skin tone, and a sweep of bronzer to reduce the Cullenesque pallor.

  21. I do full make-up every day- foundation, concealer, powder, eye shadow, mascara, blush, and chapstick. It makes me feel good and it only takes about 10 minutes.

  22. None. Seriously none. If I ever had to take a makeup class for my degree I'd fail just walking into class. The stuff makes me self concious, then my face starts to itch. I almost forgot deoderant at the last wedding I went to (Oops).

  23. I wear some eyeliner and lipstick if I'm going out of an evening but I figure if I wore it all the time then how would it make me feel/look special. Plus, I quite like my face as it is :) I went to a Body Shop party to support a friend couple of months ago and then realised that to really support her I'd need to actually buy something, so then desperately tried to find something that wasn't too expensive and that I might actually use!

  24. I wear only a foundation with sunscreen, but I think it's because it feels like my shield against the world... like if I wear foundation, then I feel sort of normal for the day. Plus it covers my dark shadows (a little), protects my skin against the sun, and it helps cover the acne I have from all the stress!

  25. I'm 12, so I don't wear make-up, but I do like cotton candy chapstick.


Thanks for sharing!

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