Thursday, January 14, 2010

Max's progress: What I see, what I don't



So, Max had his seven-year checkup. He's 36 pounds (I stand corrected, he was 33 pounds last year at this time, not 34). That is pretty skinny, but the doctor felt three pounds is a respectable gain and wasn't concerned. We'll keep serving Max fattening foods and try not to pork-ify Sabrina who takes after her mom and seems to put on weight simply by staring at food.

Max actually had a fine time at the pediatrician's office because, oddly enough, he likes that ear probe thingie (it's called an "otoscope," I just looked it up). While we were waiting for the doctor to come in, I pretended to examine Max's ears and then he examined mine. Love means letting your child poke around your ear with an ear probe.

Dr. G has been caring for Max since he was a baby. I actually interviewed him the month before Max was due. Back then, my biggest concern was whether or not I would click with a pediatrician's philosophy on childcare. I get stabs of sadness when I think about those months before Max came into this world and how determined I was to make everything perfect for his arrival: the perfect baby clothes, the perfect nursery, the perfect crib toys. Then we found out that Max had suffered a stroke and brain damage. And suddenly, perfect no longer mattered. We only wanted to know if Max would be able to walk at all, if he'd be able to talk at all, if he'd even be a little OK.

Dr. G, who hadn't seen Max in a year, commented on how far he's come. "He's so much more communicative!" he said. Max had noticed that one of the little stuffed animals the doctor had on a string around his neck was purple (the obsession lives on!) and Max charmed him by gesturing toward it and saying "Ur-ul! Ur-ul!" The doctor's parting words: "The thing about Max is, he never plateaus."

The rush of happiness you get when doctors say things like that can keep you on a high for weeks. But it didn't stop there: After that appointment, I dropped Max off at school and bumped into a mom whose kid was in Max's class two years ago. "Wow, Max looks amazing," she said. She couldn't believe how well he was walking and that he was saying a few words.

OK, this is irony. I DO A BLOG in which I chronicle Max's daily life. Hel-lo. And yet, I fail to absorb how much overall progress he has made until someone else points it out. I guess it's hard to notice the major distance your child has traveled down the road when you are so busy tracking the little footsteps he takes.

At times like these, though, I realize that my Max has come a long, long way.

24 comments:

  1. May I please put my own spin on the weight thing? Don't worry about it. He is obviously not malnourished. Just keep feeding him good, healthy food. Proteins, fruits, veggies, and the magic food for all kids . . . BUTTER. Butter is amazing for kids.

    My daughter has always been in the 15th percentile for weight, and the 85th for height. Long and lean . . . makes one jealous. :) She has a friend (a boy) who is the same way. Both kids are healthy.

    She will be seven soon and does not weigh 40 lbs. yet. However, her growth has been consistent even though it doesn't measure up with most of her peers.

    So breath easy and know that you are a good Mom, and that Max is probably just fine.

    This is me getting of my soapbox now!

    Congrats on an amazing day of discoveries!

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  2. I'm happy your appointment seemed to go well. I hope he puts on some weight soon.

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  3. It not so easy to see the changes when you are part of them everyday. Like you, I get a huge rush of joy when someone comments on how much my child has progressed in just a few short months. It confirms that I am not imagining things:) Well done Max and well done all of you for the amazing support you give him, and share with others:) Jen

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  4. It is SOOOOOOO nice to get good news at the doctor instead of bad! We are headed for Faith's six year appointment, today.

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  5. It's alwas hard to see the big picture when you're standing so close. It usually takes someone else to point out the whole, then you stop and step back and everything looks amazing. Glad Max is doing so well!

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  6. It's easy to not notice change when it happens slowly, before your eyes, over a long period of time. Pull out your old videos from say, four years ago (we actually still have a video TAPE camera and still use it--I know most people have transitioned to more modern means, but oh well!) and take a walk down memory lane every now and again--the changes will surprise you! Yes, you KNOW what the changes are, but to be presented with them on the tee vee screen is sometimes a surprise!

    Max's progress is absolutely inspiring! So's this blog of yours!

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  7. Ellen, that is a great picture of Max. He is so cute(can we still say cute at 7) My granddaughter is almost 7(March 23) & still hasn't hit the 40# mark(we're so close....)He looks pretty healthy to me,so you must be doing something right :)

    I agree, sometimes it is hard to see all the strides our kids have made,because we focus so much on all the little stuff. Sierra's PT temporaraly discharged her saying that she had met all the goals we had made 2 yrs ago. She recomended a short break & then would be re evaluated & set more goals. It was at that point I truely realized just how much she has accomplished.

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  8. That was wonderfully written - and so true! We fail to see what's right in front of us sometimes. Can I say that I love you for refocusing on what's important so quickly after Max was born? Perfection is relative.

    And on a lighter note, I'm in awe of a kid that loves the otoscope. It takes two trained parents and two seasoned nurses to hold our son down for a quick look-see.

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  9. Glad his appointment went well! And that you have a pedi that you like and trust! I often do the same thing with DD, I won't notice something until someone else points it out. Then it gives you joy to know that you are doing something right, esp if you are having a bad day!

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  10. When we're living our lives, the day to day stuff, it's hard to step back and see the progress our kids make. I know, for me at least, I seem to focus on the things he isn't doing. The Boy is not potty trained and it's starting to get to me. I need to focus more on the stuff he is doing. Like, holy cow, the kid can write his name! It makes the day go a little nicer.

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  11. I LOVE that the pediatrician says "he doesn't plateau." That is just such an awesome thought! I know when I schlep my boys off to PT and OT, I'm always thinking about how SLOW the progress is. I try to remember how we thought something as simple as jumping might just stay beyond Foster's grasp, how he jumped twice and then just couldn't again for a year and a half, and how he bounces - nearly to the ceiling now, it seems! - when we talk about trains with him, or when he finds out that his aide is coming over to spend time with him...

    And I remember that after Reilly's surgery, I told myself that all I really wanted was for him to be able to walk again, and there was no telling what that would look like for him. Yep, it looks "different." It looks like a wide, loping, kind of sideways gait, but he walks! He runs! He plays soccer and now he wants to play hockey, too!

    Thanks for the reminder - keep looking for the progress. It's there.

    xo

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  12. what a wonderful appointment! Such validating words. You can't give up - the inchstones do add up. You are a great mom & Max is such an inspiration.

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  13. I too love it when others remind me how far Luke has come. I have a parent/teacher conference this afternoon to talk about 2nd quarter -- I know I will hear how far Luke has come. It will also be fun to be able to share with them Luke's progress at home.

    I am very thankful for my ped -- we see her often -- she always remembers to ask how I am doing.

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  14. Glad things are going well for Max! I hope that you do indeed ride high on the good news!

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  15. Really, really touching. Max seems amazing!

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  16. Without getting in too deep on the subject, I can definitely say that since I have had the honor of having breakfast w/ this fine young man, I can say that he was keeping pace w/ his dad and I.

    Have a good one El...all the best to you, Sabrina, Dave, and of course Max :) - Rich

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  17. What a wonderful experience with Max's doctor. It means so much when our kids' progress is noted by professionals. If only doctors knew the power of what they say!

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  18. I love your posts, they always make me smile. Max is a cutie and I'm glad his appt went well.

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  19. I don't think there's any way to see the progress when you're that close.

    So glad you got a good report from the doctor.

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  20. I agree that it is hard to see the progress when you live it daily. Too close. I was very thrilled about Max's doctor visit. Darn right, that kind of visit can keep you on a high for a few weeks.

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  21. Thanks for sharing this. I can completely relate, as a former working mom who is now at home with her kids, I am on hand to notice things much more carefully and fully than I was previously. This week we took our son to 2 appointments. His Neurologist, who knows him well now, was so impressed and only had kind words and hopeful thoughts to impart. Today we met with the Orthepedic Surgeon for the first time; he had no benchmark, and so did not offer similar words noting his progress or offering hope based on it. Instead, I found myself almost micromanaging the conversation with him, trying to convince him that what we are doing is working, what a great kid he is. In the end, he was just a person who does not know how amazing my son is (wait till that next appointment), but it amazes me how much that validation of improvement from others means to me.

    I think because I am so close to home, I cannot see as clearly as I should.

    Best,

    Julie
    (Dave Sexton's wife)

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  22. How wonderful when others recognize the progress and accomplishments of our children. While I'm new to your blog, it seems like Max is a joy and blessing and you are doing a great job.

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  23. What a gift your little guy seems to be. I know it is not the same, but I work in the field, and progress like this that I previously would have taken for granted is so much more appreciated. Your son is beautiful and his smile infectious.

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Thanks for sharing!



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