Saturday, September 5, 2009

Words to live by

We're on an amusement park kick, following our Hersheypark adventure, and we're off to another one this weekend. We'll be staying at a nearby hotel. I LOVE staying in hotel rooms. Sometimes, I wish that I could live in a hotel room.

Some link love: The ever-wise and lovely Katy at Bird on the Street recently put up a list of things she believes in about raising a kid with special needs. I agreed with every single one, and especially loved:

"I no longer believe that brain damage=intellectual deficit. There are exceptions to this, but go ahead and assume that your child understands, explain consequences, and talk to them through out the day. Their bodies may belie their true understanding. Giving them the benefit of the doubt is free."

You said it, sister!

Check out Katy's whole list here.


  1. Katy, you are so right! In fact, our neurologist said the same thing when Daniel was diagnosed. Neurological damage absolutely does not equal cognitive delays.
    This reminds me of one of Daniel's Therasuit friends in Texas. She's about ten years old, nonverbal, and has some significant developmental differences. It's also clear to anyone who knows her that she's smart as a whip. No, she can't speak, but she can sing and never fails to outsmart the adults around her with her mischief!

  2. Amen! No matter what the damage or disorder, our children ARE children. They need love, support, respect, kindness. I heard of a father of an undiagnosed child - who seemed to have ASD - say right in front of his child "I don't know why I bother talking to him." Yes, I know it's frustrating and difficult, but being that way - FEELING that way and allowing it to come out of your mouth? Save that crap for your therapist or bartender. These kids deserve better.

  3. Funny, Ellen--I read the Bird on The Street blog all the time, along with a lot of the other people who blog and come here, but I never did much in the way of commenting over there--I pretty much limit my comments to just here. When I saw that list, though, I had to say something! It really is a manifesto I can get behind.

    With all the abuse my oldest took from his biological parents (both pre and post natal--they did all kinds of drugs and were just, well, horrible) I was told to expect that we'd be raising a kid with not much more capacity than a bunch of carrots in a diaper and that we'd be better off institutionalizing him once he got too big to handle. Now, I'm not one of these "in denial" types who insists that Bubba is one day going to be a doctor or a football hero or something, he will always have not-insignificant deficits compared to most of his peers, but I know he's able to do a lot more than was predicted for him, and he's not done improving yet, either. The doctors are pretty impressed with the gains he's made, and I have to say I put a lot of that down to the fact that we (my parents, especially) don't cut him any slack. He's expected to participate fully in family life and contribute too (setting the table at Grammy's, helping Grampa around the yard, helping Mom with laundry, stuff like that) and we keep the kids "engaged" all the time. Oh, and they get enough LOVE to move mountains, too--that never hurts.

    It helps, too, that we're a bunch of talkers, we just don't shut up, so both of the kids are quite verbal as a consequence (self defense, I guess!).

  4. That's a great list, thanks for drawing my attention to it!

  5. Hooray! Thanks for the linky love!

  6. Just wanted to pass this onto you:


Thanks for sharing!

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