Monday, September 14, 2009

The (slightly) haunted pancake breakfast

This was the scene at our house on Sunday morning. Blueberry pancakes for breakfast, because we got the book Curious George Makes Pancakes out of the library last week and both kids have had pancakes on the brain ever since.

"Mommy, are we going to make them like Curious George maded them?" Sabrina asked (she hasn't quite gotten the hang of past tense). "Mommy, are they going to taste like the ones George made? Mommy, will they have a smiley face?"

"An-cakes! An-cakes!" Max said.

And so, there we were, whipping up a batch. A peaceful scene. A happy scene. A scene, however, that was a little haunted by ghosts of memories past.

Sunday mornings at our house used to be far from mellow, because it was such a trauma feeding Max. Yes, a trauma. He had a really hard time keeping food in his mouth because of poor oral-motor coordination, and at least half of whatever we'd spoon in would come out again. It could sometimes literally take an hour to feed him. We also needed to distract him, as otherwise he wouldn't sit at the table, so a DVD would be playing. And the mess was phenomenal. Those stressful mornings were the opposite of the cozy ones I'd always envisioned before I had kids.

These days, Sunday mornings are kind of relaxed, as relaxed as Sunday mornings can be with any kids at all. They're fun, too. Max can help mix the batter. He loves to watch the pancakes cooking. He tries to eat them by himself and Dave or I help with the rest. He is actually saying the word "pancake," which in itself is miraculous.

And yet, I feel a bit on edge, as if any second these mornings could be taken away from me and I'll return to the angst-ridden ones of the early years with Max.

Mostly, though, I enjoyed our pancake breakfast, in all its glorious, happy-faced stickiness.

With every meal, every day, every week, every month, every year, I am moving past the trauma.


  1. One day at a time, honey!

    Who ever thinks it'll happen to them, when they lay out the "Grand Plan" for their lives?

    Of course, I thought I was going to be married at twenty-six (with a fancy wedding and a Carribean honeymoon) and have six kids by the time I reached my present age! I was going to live in a nice, new, not too fancy house, with a really nice yard, and take "unusual" vacations with my perfect husband and perfect children and live this great life of joy and ease that was both familiar and exotic.

    It didn't quite work out that way, but I'll take what I've got, anyway, despite the tragedy and frights and uncertainties.

    What choice do we have, really? Ya can't hit rewind on your life and record over it, after all! No "Take Twos" in the real world!

  2. Sometimes I really do think that we're dealing with PTSD. I feel the same way when things are going well - I start relive when they *weren't* going so well.

    I wish - for both of us (and anyone else who feel this way sometime) - that we could just enjoy the NOW.

  3. PTSD for sure - glad you're moving away from the original trauma.

  4. Okay, so I am a lurker. I am honestly a lurker with good intent. I have a soon-to-be 6 year old daughter with CP. I found your blog via Jack's Blog, and I am hopelessly addicted. You have such a wonderful sense of humor--so articulate. So thoughtful. I love watching Max. My Emma is not as advance as Max with the motor skills, still no walking, just a bit with a walker when she takes a mind for it. Her language is coming along, albeit slowly. So I love watching Max. I pray that he gets even more fabulous results from the stem cells. I am watching with eager eyes.

    I elected to comment here because I can so relate to this post. Mind you, we have a ways to go with the eating thing still. But, boy do I know about eating tension. My Emma has a new ST, and she is getting some good results on the oral motor front for the first time. I am just elated if she opens her mouth for big bites.

    All this brings me around to a request... I know. Sorry, but you are so darn good at this blog thing. Have you ever done a post regarding traveling and eating with Max?? Just curious!! As Emma is getting better, she is longing to go to Disney World. To be frank, it will be a dream come true (on many levels) if we can makes this happen. Of course, I had to go and complicate the eating ordeal with a "special diet," basically gluten and sugar free and no dairy. Yeah, I know. I love challenges. Any suggestions or experiences would be great. I am curious what you feed Max on trips. Where you eat? How accommodating are theme park or cruise people about cooking foods to a soft state?? You know, stuff like that?? I always pack Emma's food for trips, but longer ones require us to get lodging with a kitchen. That is so stressful. Generally, the last thing I am about on a fun trip is COOKING!! Thanks in advance!!

  5. It that PTSD I tell ya! You never know what little thing is gonna completely throw you though a loop.

    Are those really your pancakes? They look gloriously healthy.

  6. Felicia, you said it, as usual. Katy, full disclosure, those are not my pancakes. My pancakes aren't fit to be photographed, they are for eating purposes only. :)
    Amy, I haven't done a post on traveling and eating with Max, but now that you've asked, I will! Look for it on Wednesday or Thursday, I'm sure lots of other readers will have good advice to share as well.

  7. Ellen,
    Sometimes you hit the nail on the head, just perfect!I was thinking about this topic the other day! I remember when when Faith was a baby, the first yr, it was common place for a feeding to last 2 1/2 hrs and then end up with a massive projectile vomit after all the suffering! Every thing in our house had a permanant layer of throw up on it. LOL! I am so glad that Max can help with the pancakes. That's so great!

  8. Making pancakes with the kids on a Saturday morning sounds like a great idea!

    I think I'll do that with my kids this weekend. My 6 year old loves the idea of cooking (even if the "recipes" she comes up with are a bit, well, icky), and my 4 year old loves the idea of licking the bowl after we've made some sweet doughy batter in it, and my 3 year old just likes to stir things. :)

    As for things turning out the way we once imagined they would, well, I always imagined I'd only ever have two kids - a boy & a girl. Now, 5 girls and 2 boys later, I can honestly say that my family is complete. LOL!

  9. Just found your blog -- living some similar stuff, sounds like. And I have a Sabrina, too! :o) Thanks for writing -- good to have reminders that we're all in this together.


Thanks for sharing!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...