Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The great begonia massacre of 2009 and other theories of chaos

Max ran over my pink begonias with his Push Around Buggy. Every. Single. Last. One.

OK, I do not mean to sound like the most mind-boggling ingrate on the planet. It is amazing—no, miraculous—that my little boy with cerebral palsy is able navigate a car around. It's true, too, that Max isn't yet cognitively aware enough to realize that you shouldn't roll over Mommy's flowers with your Step 2 Buggy (not that any kid with a brat streak couldn't have done the same). And, relax, I'm not going to revoke Max's driving privileges or anything.

But: I loved that row of bright little flowers that lined the walkway to our front door. Every morning, I'd wake up and stare at them out the window before I hit the shower. When I came home from work at night, I looked forward to seeing them.

I'll do anything for Max. I'm not selfless, though. Just because I have a child with special needs doesn't mean that I have to stop caring about my own needs and the little things that make me happy.

Sometimes, I feel like people think parents of kids with handicaps are saints or something.

For the record, I am no saint.

Now, anyone know how to revive begonias?

Drive with caution


  1. Sorry to hear about your begonias. I have a ton of them, but put them in hanging baskets to keep them safe from the dog who loves to dig them up and drive me crazy! I don't know of a way to revive them, but there could be a sale on them now if you are considering replanting them.

    Before I went the route of the hanging baskets, I put up a little plastic picket fence that worked for a while to keep the dog out of my row of begonias. Perhaps you can put up a bit of a fence? They sell really cute ones at the dollar general or other similar places, so it won't cost a fortune. Hard to ride a buggy over the fence!

  2. Aww, sorry to hear about your flowers. I wish I knew how to revive them, but I'm not exactly the best gardener.
    Not long after Daniel started walking, he toddled over to the beautiful daffodils in our front yard and plucked them out of the ground before I could stop him. They didn't grow back until the next year, but Daniel's huge grin as he handed me the flowers - not to mention the fact that he walked over to them all by himself - made up for it.
    I like Kristina's idea about getting a little fence. Perhaps Max would enjoy helping you plant some new flowers, too.

  3. Pots. Little boys are destructive in nature. Pots are the secret. ;)

  4. I am sorry. You are a saint!!!
    God only gives "special" children to special parents He knows will love them. He trusts you!
    But I know there are times it doesn't take away the image of your begonias. There is nothing wrong with wanting YOUR own things too.

  5. When I was learning how to ride a tryke my granpa would always make sure I didn't plow into my granmas flowers. I would've gotten yelled at just like everybody else, no matter how big of an accomplishment it was. Kids still need boundries because they are still kids.

  6. Poor little begonias. They're pretty delicate, I'm afraid. Hope they survive.


  7. I totally agree, Sarah: Kids need boundaries. Max did this when our attention was diverted. I think pots or fences sound like a great idea! And, yes, Jo, I can ask Max to help plant them. I loved your story about Daniel handing you those daffodils. I would have minded about the begonias less if Max handed them to me with a smile on his face!!!

  8. My quite gifted husband once "pruned" his mother's prized jade tree. He also broke her couch. Some of it may be cognition and some of it may be pure boy--imagine the fun he had crushing those babies (may they rest in piece).

    and yeah, a little plastic border might help.

  9. Get some edging--the plastic kind that you bang into the ground with a rubber mallet. That will be enough to keep little boys in little cars away from them! You can even get the kind that looks just like brick or stone at the Home Depot or the Lowe's.

    I know what you mean about destructive little ones--last year my boys picked all my still-green tomatoes right off the vine. I was a bit annoyed! No, a lot annoyed, actually!

  10. Having 18 years experience as a parent of special needs children, I respectfully have to disagree with the statement that God only gives special children to special parents who will love them. I wish it was true, just as we all wish ALL children were given just to parents that will love them. I've seen many special needs children who are neglected or you can not get their parents involved or even attending IEP meetings. Children go further with involved parents! I know of many people with disabilities that have appointed guardians because their parent stole what little funds they got monthly, from them. Sometimes I think special children should be given to smart parents. Then we could figure out all the medical terminology or abbreviations thrown at us, work with the professionals and always know what is best for our child!

  11. Oh no! Poor flowers! I think the fence is probably a good idea! It is good though that you can still see the positives there!

  12. I like this post Ellen. We shouldn't give up our own needs, or wants. Sure we try to be selfless, but goodness knows I need my bath every night or I am a GRUMP!

  13. Cool that he has enough strength to plow them down but sad for Mommy that your pretty flowers got destroyed.


Thanks for sharing!

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