Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Totally mortifying Mommy moments

The pool we go to has pretty decent showers, a great thing if you have little kids. Saturdays and Sundays during the summer, we spend the afternoon swimming and splashing and whining about sharing our pool toys (the kids, not me), and then we herd them into the showers, put them into their pj's and they're good for the evening.

Sunday, I was at the pool with the kids by myself, Dave's on a business trip. We're in the locker room, just showered. I'm getting Sabrina dressed; Max has decided to zoom around naked and I'm letting him have his fun. We have the place all to ourselves...or so I thought.

Suddenly, I don't hear him and I'm all, uh-oh.

I look around the lockers. No Max.

I head to the showers. He's there. He giggles and trots away from me and over to one of the stalls.

"Maaa-aaax, come on!" I say, and walk over. Only to turn and find myself facing a completely nude, hefty, glaring woman in her sixties with what can only be described as humongous bosoms.

"Um, sorry!" I stammer, trying very hard not to stare at said bosoms as I scoop up Max and dash away. He starts cracking up.

I have never speed-dressed the kids so fast in my entire life.

OK, I've shared mine, share your recent mortifying Mommy moment! I know you've got one.

Border from Total Wallcovering


  1. Oh I have several. One that comes to mind was 20 years ago. With my oldest daughter. It was Halloween time, maybe a week before. We were teaching our daughter all about witches, goblins, ghosts...everything pertaining to Halloween. One afternoon, we went into our local grocery store. They had it decorated in the theme of Halloween. Paper witches, jack-o-lanterns, ghosts...etc., were hanging all over the store. My daughter was gazing around at everything. Pointing out everything. Telling me as we went "mommy, witch, ghosts..etc." When suddenly we were standing near a lady (older, non attractive) who was getting a gallon of mild from the cooler. My daughter pointed to the lady's face and said, "look mommy, a ugly witch." I whipped that cart around and took off. I was at a complete and total loss of words. I mean, really, what was I suppose to say to that? The lady was not pleasant on the eyes... so what was I suppose to do. Explain the whole witch thing to this lady!! I decided to just get outta dodge. After the fact, I told my daughter that wasn't nice and that witches aren't real. They are only things we see at Halloween. Now, keep in mind, my daughter was 2 1/2 years old. I'm sure she didn't understand how I was reprimanding her. Luckily, it didn't ever happen again. Needless to say, I nearly died of embarrassment that day.

  2. lol!

    mine isnt really recent, but always in the back of my mind whenever we go to any playparks...We were in an indoor playpark doing fine, Zach was playing in a foam ball pit when all of asudden he puked! OMG it was hard not to laugh at how fast others scooped their kids and ran...but horrifying. We havent been back to one since.

  3. Ha! Great story!!!

    I was at the grocery store with my "normal" child when he saw the director of his preschool. He asked if he could say hello to this elderly, straight-laced woman. Of course I said sure, so he ran up to her and pinched her right on the bottom so she would turn around. She had a look of horror on her face, and so did I.

  4. So far, all of my mortifying moments are PRE-Mommy...and not fit for print.


    (ok, it's me...kate.)

  5. I was in a public restroom stall with my then 3 year old, recently potty-trained daughter. I was, um, doing my thing and my daughter was giving a running commentary:

    "I like your underwear, Mommy! You have stripes!"

    "Good job peeing on the potty!"

    "Time to wipe!"

    "Don't forget to flush!

    I left the stall to find several women in near hysterics. *sigh*

  6. One time when Connor was about a year old I walked out of a restaurant with him on my hip because he was getting a little overwrought due to all the noise inside, leaving Jer at the table with our friends. I was wearing a stretchy v-neck shirt.

    All of the sudden Connor grabbed my shirt and the bra underneath and yanks it down, exposing my unmentionables to the world. I yelped, grabbed his hand, and stuffed the offending areas back into place. I then looked up and make eye contact with the group of five college guys just going into the restaurant, who now all had huge grins on their faces.

    Thank God their tables wasn't anywhere near ours.


  7. "Table," not "tables." See? I'm still so embarrassed about it that it makes me make grammatical errors! Shocking.


  8. This is soooo funny! I am laughing out loud at all the stories. I have a small one. When Faith was a little baby, like less than 6 months, I was still struggling with breastfeeding her. We had to stop every hr, whatever we were doing, to feed her. Well, I was having pics dev. at Wallyworld, and so I selected a demo recliner in a corner of the store. I covered myself with a BIG baby blanket and proceeded to feed her, well out of no where there is an older woman, maybe 60's, standing over me! She lifts the blanket, exposing me and my almost sleeping child! She just starts talking about how cute she is and starts expounding on her knowledge of breastfeeding! I finally had to get out of the chair and excuse myself, to get some privacy! I am PRO breastfeeding but sheesh, some privacy, PLEASE!

  9. Even if the woman didn't find it hilarious, I do!
    One embarrassing story took place when Daniel was a newly potty trained toddler. We were in line at a very crowded store when he suddenly pulled at the top of my jeans, tried to peek down the back, and loudly asked, "Mommy, do you need to poop?"
    Then, when he was three, he had a pretty humiliating subject for Show And Tell at nursery school. "MY daddy can go potty standing up!" he proudly bragged to his class.
    Most recently, Daniel was chatting with an older woman who works at the rehab hospital when he asked how old she was. "Oh, I'm old, honey," she chuckled. "Yeah, I thought so!" Daniel responded. I grabbed his hand and practically ran for the exit.

  10. OK, these are hysterical! I am going to have to do this again. That won't be a problem, as surely my kids will just keep on embarrassing me, as yours will you!!!

  11. I'm drawing a complete blank here. I think maybe I'm just shameless. I wouldn't have betted an eye about the big-bosomed woman--public showers are use at your own risk.

  12. Oh my! I am laughing so hard! Don't you love kids!

  13. I was shopping with my sn daughter at a mall. We were standing in a store, in the middle aisle, and I was looking at bras. Just making idle chit chat with her to keep her entertained, I asked her if she wanted to try one on. I was watching her out of the corner of my eye to make sure she was there. When I got done looking at the bras, I looked down at her and saw that she had pulled her pants and pullups down around her ankels, just getting ready to try on that bra.

  14. Thank you for the shout out! It's my first post-BlogHer shout out that doesn't mention my snoring! :)

    It was fabulous to meet you. Can't wait to read more about you and gorgeous Max.



Thanks for sharing!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...