Thursday, September 1, 2011

What's your special needs mom superpower? Go on, brag!


Clearing wet clutter out of our basement after the flooding from Irene was easy; finding pros to cut out parts of the dry wall, spray on anti-mold chemicals and bring some industrial-strength fans to dry things out was impossible. Dave looked up companies and put in lots of calls, but waiting lists were hundreds of names long. Some companies' websites were all YOU COULD DIE FROM TOXINS IN YOUR HOME IF WE DON'T HELP YOU! which ticked me off. I can't stand people who take advantage of those in unfortunate circumstances.

But I am nothing if not resourceful. It's one of my best strengths, the superpower that has particularly come in handy for Max. I have been able to talk my way into doctor appointments for him despite months-long wait lists. I have convinced therapists to come to our home. I have done battle with insurance companies and won.

I feel lucky to have been blessed with an abundance of common sense and resourcefulness. I can barely do math, I'm not much of a cook and my tombstone will surely not read "She was a style muse to the masses" but I can pretty much figure out ways to find almost anything, get in almost anywhere, and just get things d-o-n-e.

As visions of mold danced in my head, I went into overdrive. I put up notes on online bulletin boards asking for suggestions. I called friends. Once, I chased a van halfway down a street that looked like a clean-up company only it turns out the guy was mostly picking up bulk waste.

On Tuesday, I dropped off Sabrina at a playdate. Of course, I asked the mom if she knew anyone who was doing water damage cleanup. "Aggie just used someone—I'll text her!" she said, referring to another mom we knew. Turns out two guys were helping out homes on Aggie's street and she poached them. A few minutes later, the mom texted me a phone number. Scott and Rick showed up, the most scruffy-looking pair of saints I'd ever laid eyes on. They scoped out our basement and gave us an extremely reasonable price for salvaging it; I would have paid far more to get the carpeting out because it was stinking up our entire home.

Dave stayed home yesterday to supervise the work, and I went off to work. That's one of Dave's superpowers: Encouraging people to do a good job. By the end of the day, all of our basement's soggy contents, from carpeting to couch, were sitting on the street outside our home. What's the opposite of curb appeal? That's us, an HGTV nightmare. Max wailed when he saw the play kitchen outside; he loves to pretend-cook spaghetti on it (he seems to be a much better cook than I am), but we can get him a new one.

I got it done. I'm damn proud.

What superpower do you possess that's most come in handy for your life—especially for having a kid with special needs? Go on, brag! By all means, boast!


istock/yayayoyo

29 comments:

  1. Can I count having the self-control to not throttle Board of Ed folks at IEP meetings as a superpower?

    Even if I lack actual superpowers, however,what I have in spades is LUCK--I just ended up with two of the greatest kids in the world; they just happen to have special needs = )

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  2. Thank you, I so needed a laugh! OK, if you want to know my REAL superpower, I have the uncanny ability to eat, tweet and watch TV, ALL AT THE SAME TIME

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  3. I am not a special needs mom, but I am a special needs mom side kick. I am a regular ed teacher in a public school. My secret skill is knowing the lingo...just how to ask so the school can't say no anymore when a parent is advocating for their child. I use my secret phone (maybe just my cell) and start the conversation with....you didn't hear this from me...(okay maybe I start it with I am your kids teacher.) Go Special Needs Moms! You guys ARE AMAZING!

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  4. You GO, girl! Now THAT'S some serious superpower. :) Glad that you got the basement under control!

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  5. Totally off topic, but I was at a Wegman's supermarket today and noticed purple candy corn for sale, prepackaged at the checkout counter for folks who can't resist grabbing junk. Instead of the usual Hallowe'en orange with yellow base and white tip, these were bright purple with dark purple base and white tip, and were called Blackberry Cobbler candy corn. Need I say more (though it occurred to me that maybe Max can't eat candy of that texture)? And aren't you glad you re-enabled anonymous comments so shy types can follow their impulses and send you useful tidbits?

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  6. Amazing clean up Ellen within days that's fabulous!!

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  7. This is fun!
    I can tell anyone what my non verbal daughter wants just by looking at her face. No one else has a clue.

    I can also hear when she has things in her mouth that she shouldn't have, while I am in the other room and those in the same room with her are not aware.

    I think my favorite is that when minor emergencies arise, I can jump in and start giving orders while others are still not fully aware of what is happening.

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  8. I can cook. I can feed my family of 5 from 1 chicken for 3 days. Give me milk, flour, eggs and maybe a bit of fat and we are good for days. A scrap of meat and some leftover veggies can be turned into whatever my imagination comes up with! We may not have much, but my family will always eat well!

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  9. My superpower is that I can get my Emma to eat her veggies! Even collar greens! Amazing, huh?

    Glad the clean up happened so fast!

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  10. Grats on the clean-up and the go-getter attitude!

    BTW, sounds like Irene might have scared up some construction jobs! Perhaps a secret stimulus conspiracy? lol ;)

    My superpower is... hmm.. I guess finding alternatives and variations to anything our therapists say to better accommodate Malachi and our family. They've started asking ME for advice! :)

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  11. I have the super-power ability to ignore the looks my daughter sometimes get from people and proudly introduce her to them as if she has no issues whatsoever.

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  12. No one can redirect (attention) like I can, which is a handy ability to have with my oldest. I don't know if it's my irritating whine,simple volume, or ability to know what someone is thinking about, I can manage to make everyone drop what they're doing/forget what they were obsessing about with a simple oversized remark!

    I like Julia's talent!!!! I used to do that myself, I don't have enough time for it much these days!

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  13. I have learned how to carry my 30 lb daughter, the diaper bag, her walker on my shoulders and her crutches in my hands...all while walking the long hospital halls on our way to therapy....I have figured it's a good way to work in some exercise, right?!

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  14. Julia stole my superpower, so guess I'll have to go with I can go days with very little sleep and not kill anyone. Considering how often Jack still wakes up at night, I figure that's pretty good! :-)

    Glad you got your basement cleaned up so quickly - impressive!

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  15. I can say my superpower is handling a medical crisis, especially when it involves surgery. I have two special needs boys (micropreemies) now in 1st grade and although I have to leave notes all over my house to make sure all the daily tasks get done, I am your wonder woman if we need to deal with the hospital. I have far more experience than I would prefer but hey, at least I am freakin' good at it.

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  16. I can drink soda all day long to keep up with my super child

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  17. I am a champion multitasker. And I have super-mommy hearing. Of course, this means I also go without a lot of sleep...

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  18. My superpower is my extreme organizational skills. Not sure where I would be without them! Great job on the clean up. You are awesome!

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  19. my license plate frame says, "I'm raising a kid with Autism. What's YOUR superpower?"

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  20. Hey Ellen! Love this topic! ALL moms of special needs kids have superpowers. I'm a special needs educator with 20+ years in the classroom and looking forward to connecting with special needs mom bloggers.

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  21. My husband shares the same superpower that you do! My superpower is that I've learned to be really patient. After I first had my daughter, I had an abundance of my own tantrums. Since then, I've learned to walk the walk and talk the talk if I want my daughter to learn coping skills other than tantrums. I've been told that I've mastered it! I never thought I'd see that day!

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  22. I like Mari's superpower.

    As for mine, I have the ability to calm my son down just when he's starting to freak out about a new assault on his senses...and to calm my husband at the same time.

    I can also tell if the same child is having a temper tantrum or a sensory-related tantrum. I cannot, however, explain just how I know the difference.

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  23. Superpower moms, unite!

    Anon, thanks for the hot tip about the purple candy corn! We don't have a Wegman's so nearby, but that would be worth the tip.

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  24. I can stay calm in an emergency. i have had to drive on the express way through my son having a seizure will calling 911 and still stay calm and collected. Of course by the end of our adventures i always break down but its good to know I can stay calm when needed.

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  25. Anon, that's a really important quality. At first, I got a little hysterical during Max's first major seizure, then I got ahold of myself and stayed calm for the next hour, which is about how long the seizure lasted. For the second one, I was pretty calm.

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  26. I am also very resourceful and meticulous with his records and I REFUSE to give up!

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  27. I'm 12 with HFA and I have super intelligence and a love for animals and kids.

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Thanks for sharing!



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