Thursday, September 8, 2011

Things that go klomp in the night


KLOMP
KLOMP
KLOMP
KLOMP

Every night, around 1 a.m., I wake up to that sound.

KLOMP
KLOMP
KLOMP
KLOMP

My heart races and it takes me a sec to remember what's happening: It's Max, aka Big Purple Foot. He's wearing his night cast, and klomping toward our room in it.

KLOMP
KLOMP
KLOMP
KLOMP

At 8 years old, nearing 9, Max is kinda old to be crashing in our bed. But my willpower is weak at 1 in the morning. And lately, I don't mind the cuddling (aside from when he kicks me in his sleep).

"He's looking like a big kid lately," a babysitter said to me the other day.

"He's still got those pinchable cheeks!" I said, hopefully, trying to talk her out of it.

"Yes, but he's definitely looking like more of a big kid," she repeated, and I had to agree.

Max, my sweet Max, is getting older. And I am not ready to let go of his early childhood. In part, it's because I feel like I missed out. Anxiety and worry consumed me when Max was very young, and stole joys of motherhood away from me. I did not savor Max's deliciousness as much as I could have. I did not photograph the rolls on his chubalicious thighs, like I used to do with baby Sabrina. I did not goo and coo over his meaty little hands, as I still do with Sabrina, because I was too freaked about how stiff and tight they were from the CP. I did not take comfort in his beatific smiles.

The happiness came, of course. But I think I'm still trying to make up for lost time.

So for now, I will startle when I hear the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP, anticipate seeing Max's shadowy form appear in the doorway of our bedroom, pick up his warm body, lay him down next to me and kiss that last bit of chub in his cheek as he nods off to sleep. Because before long, I'll no longer be able to do it.

6 comments:

  1. It's sad that they grow up so quickly. I still miss my little squishy babies and probably always will.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How very, very sweet. I feel like I missed out on a lot w/ my second child because she was VERY colicky and I also had a 21 month-old to take care of. I am savoring every moment w/ #3...and noticing how my almost 8-year-old is looking more like a big kid every day..

    ReplyDelete
  3. my three are all in school for the first time this year, and i really cant believe how fast they've grown...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Enjoy every cuddle! There is nothing like the love a boy has for his mommy but as they get older it changes. I crawl into bed with my 11 year old to wake him up for school every morning and smile when I think of all the times he crawled into bed with us. I don't regret a single time! When my 9 year old wants me to stay in bed with him at night for a few minutes after reading I can barely contain my glee! It goes SO fast!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I got gorgeous candid and posed shots his first day of preschool, but he quickly entered the "no photos, please!" phase of turning his head. Then he moved on to the putting his hand in front of his face to block the camera/making faces faze. This year, he's 8 and it's the first time I've really been able to get decent first-day-of-school shots again. Hope to keep that going. The iPhone makes it a lot easier, of course. Have had great candids done. Best posed shots have been on vacation with a roaming photographer, though when he was really being difficult I came up with what I still think was a genius idea ;-). I pulled aside the photographers and told them to use a long lens and shoot from a distance. Got amazing shots.(I used to edit at magazines, too.)BTW, I RT'd and I already Like you and follow you!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing!



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