Sunday, June 19, 2011

Worrying less is easy (if someone reminds you)

It's early morning, and Max is standing outside his bedroom, at the foot of the staircase. He wants to go downstairs. I am in a towel, dripping wet from my shower.

"Honey!" I shout to Dave, who's in the kitchen. "Max wants to come down!" Our stairs are kind of steep, and he needs help navigating them.

Dave trudges up the stairs. When he gets near the top of the landing, he reaches out his arms for Max to fall into them. Eeek.

"Someday," I say, "you're not going to be able to do that. Max is going to be big, it'll be dangerous. You'll both fall backward!"

"But not today!" Dave says, scoops Max into his arms and heads downstairs.

I am the worrier; he keeps us focused on the here and now. And that's very much how we make it work.

How do you and your partner balance out the worrying?


  1. This is absolutely unrelated, but today I saw a book that you absolutely positively will want to buy, called "More Spaghetti, I Say" by Rita Golden Gelman. It is about a monkey with a spaghetti obsession. The monkey is even wearing a purple dress on the book cover!

  2. Love this! Funny how most men are like that. There's a lesson there. Wish I could be more like Dave. By the way, I love that picture of Max and Sabrina.

  3. I feel like I enjoy this even more because I've had the pleasure of meeting you in person and can just hear your voice as you call to Dave.

  4. we're not all like that.
    With us, I'm the anchor, she's the sail.
    I provide stability, organisation, aiming for long term goals.
    Gill is spontaneous, firey, passionate, living for the day, pushing for change.
    Together we have a workable partnership.
    It's about balance and compromise between personalities.

  5. I am the optimist, the one that lives in the moment, not looking too far ahead. My husband is the one who looks into the future, helps me keep my feet on the ground. I think we truly balance each other.

  6. I'm like you. I'm the worrier and hubby keeps me grounded and out of panic mode all of the time.

    We've got good guys.

  7. my daughter's father isn't especially involved, so I do all the worrying by myself without any balance

  8. My husband and I were just discussing this last night. I am by far the one who worries more. Our son (with asd) loves hanging out with dad in a different way than with me. Dad loosens up the limits, and lets him fly...I prefer to keep him close, so he won't fall. Every day I try to make little steps to un-clip his wings a bit, but it takes a lot of reminders.

  9. Anon: I ran (not walked) right over to Amazon to get that book. Clearly, I have not thoroughly investigated the possibilities of books that combine Max's two obsessions. Thank you!!!

    Amy etc.: I hate to gender stereotype but it's true, most men I've known worry a whole lot less than women do. And I don't think it's just a matter of them not showing it—I think they just often don't go there.

    Christine: I hope, I really hope, you can find some balance. Can you unload to close friends?

    DDerby and Karen: Yes, it's all about balance and compromise. As long as Dave lets me have my way, we're fine. HA!

  10. OMG. Here's a youtube version of the More Spaghetti book.

    You might not want to show Max! He'll get a LOT of new ideas--but you will love it.

    Betty Ann

  11. Betty Ann, that video is awesome!!! I am a little afraid to show to Max for fear he will never stop watching it!

  12. There has to do balance. My Hub is much more of a worrier than I and that's saying something.

  13. I loved this post. It was just what I needed. Your husband's "but not today!" comment is what I need to stick in my head to lessen my worries about my son with CP. Thank you, thank you.

  14. Its the opposite, I'm the one who is optimistic and my husband is the one who worries about the future.


Thanks for sharing!

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