Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Remembering Gavin, today and forever

This morning, I'm driving to Pennsylvania for a memorial service and funeral for Gavin. I know many of you wanted to be there, and I will give Kate an extra hug for you. I've never been to anything like this so I'm not sure what to expect, other than that Kate put together beautiful photo boards of Gavin.

Kate being Kate, she wrote a post reassuring people who are attending that she realizes they might not know what to say, and said that is OK. She also gave us permission for not worrying about holding it together, which I was grateful to read because I do not think I'll be able to. I just don't want to sob in front of her, or do anything to add to her grief.

I've been thinking and thinking about what to wear. I'm not a person who devotes much brain power to outfits, but all black doesn't seem right for a child's funeral. I don't want to look morbid, for Kate's sake. So I'm mixing black and white. Kate also asked that people not wear perfume, cologne or anything scented as they used to trigger skin flare-ups for Gavin; she thought that a whiff could make memories come flooding back of protecting Gavin. So I'm borrowing Dave's unscented deodorant. I'm a big ball of nerves, sadness and pain for Kate.

I desperately wanted to bring something. Last week I got in touch with Melanie, Daniel's mom, from Better Than Normal. Melanie makes the most amazing crowns and capes for kids at her online shop Let 'em Be Little. I thought of Superhero Gavin's effect on people, and asked her to make him this Super G.

Kate's requested that donations in lieu of flowers be made to the following non-profits:

The Child Life Program at Nemours/Alfred I duPont Hospital for Children. If you did not read Kate's post about how it helped her younger son, check it out, and see the specifics of where to donate.

Gift of Life Family House, which provides support programs and temporary lodging for organ transplant patients and their families.

CaringBridge, a free site for people to create personal pages where they can update friends and family on health issues. Kate originally started writing about Gavin there.

So many people have honored Kate's birthday wish to do someone good; today would be a great day to  fulfill that wish, then share it on her Facebook page.


  1. Thanks for the wonderful blog. So proud to have gotten to know you and your lovely family here. You make a huge difference every day.

  2. I've been to too many children's funerals and know that the being present is a huge gift. I've been following along on FB and trying to be present in my far away place for Kate's family right now. Her incredible vulnerability and openness is such a gift to the rest of us right now. So glad you were able to go.

  3. I'm glad you can attend the memorial service and funeral. What a lovely gift to bring along! Hugs.

  4. glad you are able to go. i've been thinking about her a lot.

  5. I am so glad you were able to attend. Hugs to you because I don't think I could have kept it together.

  6. I'm so glad you were able to go.

  7. I couldn't have missed it. Writing about it now, it was a beautiful mass.


Thanks for sharing!

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