Friday, November 21, 2008

What will he be when he grows up?

Last night, I had a girls' night out with a group of friends from the neighborhood. We went for Italian and the chef made me my favorite dish, pasta with an evil salmon cream sauce. So worth the calories. When I came home, the babysitter told me that Sabrina, who's 3, informed her that she's going to be a doctor when she grows up, because she wants to give shots. Then Sabrina gave her an exam.

Sabrina's really into pretend play. Max is, too, to some extent. He loves to wear his fireman's coat and hat. Or push around cars on the floor and make them crash. He's not yet able to grasp more conceptual things like what it means to "grow up," but hopefully that will come.

It's hard to imagine what Max might "be" someday; I am so focused on his present and wanting him to speak more words and be able to feed himself. Looking into the future is scary. Inevitably, I think about the Quiznos guy. Dave and I once went there for a sandwich, and there was a cognitively impaired man working behind the counter. As I watched him struggle to put together a turkey sub I wondered whether Max might end up with that sort of job. When I got back to the car, I sobbed at the thought of it.

So, I try not to think about the Quiznos guy, and keep my eyes on Max in the here and now. Like how adorable he is when we play choo-choo train around the house, or when he grabs the little rubber Mater truck he sleeps with (from his favorite movie, Cars) and "drives" it all over my body in the morning. He's got imagination, he's got personality, he's got smarts, he's got potential.

What hopes do you have for your children's future?


  1. I hope for one thing, and one thing only. It is the same dream I have for all three of my children.

    I just hope they are happy.

    That is it, just happiness. If they want to grow up and be a doctor, great. If they want to grow up and be the Quiznos guy (Jonathans latest minimum wage inspiration has been the popcorn and candy guy at the movie theater) so be it. As long as they are happy.

    To me life isn't how wonderful you become, how much money you make, how big your house is, or who you know. In then end all of that means nothing if you were not happy.

    All that being said, I do hope Jonathan (and Jacob and Victoria)set their sights a little higher than the 'popcorn and candy guy'. But I am 30, and I still haven't nailed down my dream job...although I am closer...besides of course being a mother.

  2. Hi, my name is Christie and I found you via Storked. My 16 month old son has CP due to a lack of oxygen, either before birth or during. He's also doing much better then the doctors said he would.

    I'm so glad I found your blog because I've already read a few post I can completely relate to (where parents compare each other kids!) There aren't many blogs out there that I've been able to find discussing parenting kids with CP.

    I haven't been through your whole blog yet, but I hope to find something in regards to your fears about your second child. We're due again in May and while I know the chances of this occuring again are slim, I'm still kind of freaked out about it.

    Sorry about the long comment, I would have emailed you but didn't see an address.

    As for hopes of the future? My son is a little to young for me to think about that. My boyfriend is a Financial Rep though so he is constantly thinking about planning and one day he said something in regards to our son not going to college. It really hurt and I snapped at him and told him we didn't know if he would be or not so we WILL assume he's going.

    It's amazing that it's been over a year (seems longer) and I still break down like that. I see that it won't be an easy road, though, but I am so thankful for my little boy

  3. I agree with Sarah H, it's about their happiness and letting them go.

    I can remember discussing MY MAX's future with my wife when he was only a baby. Instead of things he might do, we just came up with a big long list of what he couldn't do, based on danger or proximity. We were joking, but it brought it home really early how difficult it is to allow your children independance.

    Max, it's a cool name isn't it? You obviously have great taste too!

  4. To be completely honest I just hope JD is happy. It sounds so lame, but if I've learned anything in my 27 yrs here it's that I wasted time being sad or upset. I hope JD will always shine...and on rainy days I hope he'll appreciate the sunnier ones more. I also hope he gets good grades so he can get a full ride to college. College tuition is a scary concept.

  5. Max will be tall, dark and handsome when he grows up. Ladies, watch out!

    Next time u should do girls night in the city with your fun friends!!!!

  6. Your comments are almost as good as the post!

    What do I want for Charlie? Truthfully, like many of the people here, I want him to be happy. These days i joke that he'll either be a chef or a musician, but really, if he's happy then that's all that matters.

    Now, I'm about to go bother Ms. Burb because she's tapped into the very issue that I'm mulling over these days.

  7. Well said, as always, Sarah H. If our kids are happy, that really is the most important thing. It takes a lot not to project our own hopes and desires onto them. Ian, welcome. I have to agree, Max IS a great name. You've had a long haul in life, too, I know (everyone here please go check out his blog, Lyla, you're married, hands off my Max! And Christie, welcome. I am sorry to hear about what you've been through, but glad your boy is doing better than expected, that's always a joy to hear.

  8. Um, Victoria isn't married...I think she may be a great match for Max! He is dark and handsome!

    Or maybe the other Max...we love our Englishmen in this house! She is half English, has citizenship there thanks to Daddy. Hmmmm...

  9. Yep, another vote for 'happiness' here.

    BUT I do think about his future possible careers because what I really hope is that he doesn't get pushed into work that some well meaning adviser thinks would be 'suitable' for him, but that he doesn't really enjoy. THAT would make me sad.

    And I'll be honest and say that aside from being happy, I secretly hope that he defies all expectations - does well in high school, goes on to University and thrives in a profession (whatever it may be) that he really enjoys ;-). But if he doesn't, I'll be fine with that too ;-).

    MissBurb, welcome to the world of blogs. There's quite a few of out there blogging about our kids with CP once you start looking - the best way to find more is exploring the blog rolls of those that you find. Wish you and your little man all the best. The first couple of years can be tough when there's still so much unknown xo


Thanks for sharing!

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