Monday, November 17, 2008

Monday Morning Confessional: My uncool self

I was talking with my friend Brooke the other day about minivans. Last month, Dave and I bit the suburban bullet and bought a Toyota Sienna. Brooke told me that when she and her husband went to pick up their Honda Odyssey, she burst into tears at the dealership because she felt she was passing into the land of the uncool. I felt the same pang of despair when we got ours—you can't get a much uncooler car than a minivan. It's roomy, it's convenient, it goes BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! if you're about to bump into something when you're parking, but it's undeniably uncool.

Here are some other uncool things about me:

• My idea of Zen is organizing things.
• I own a pair of Bass Weejuns I've had since college. And I still wear them on weekends.
• When Sabrina talk-whines, I'll talk-whine back at her just so she can see how annoying it is.
• I still think Tom Cruise is hot. (Note, Dave does not have a problem with this. I'm not sure how Katie Holmes feels, though.)
• I raid the kids' snacks at night.
• I have checks with pastel-colored pictures on them.
• I've used Wite-Out to touch up stuff around the house.

It's all shocking, I know. Your turn: What's uncool about you?


  1. Oh Ellen, you have me laughing my ass off!

    Hmmmm...uncool things about me?

    I do drive a minivan...and have since 2005! But I now love it!

    I regularly wear sweat pants...even to the bus stop.

    I pick my kids nose...I can't stand boogery noses on kids, drives me NUTS!

    I scrunch my nose and push up my sunglasses all the time...just like Urkel! And I don't realize it until I do it...I can only imagine how I look!

    I am wearing a pair of pants that I have had since 11th grade...I just can't give them up...

    Oh the list can go on...I'm a totally uncool!

    Now Tom Cruise...blah...still cute yes, but he is nutty so yuck.

  2. I can't believe u still have those shoes!!

  3. My mom jeans are left over from before I had kids. I would still wear them...IF they fit me.

    I have gone to see Weird Al Yankovic in concert roughly 8 times.

    And the ultimate in uncool: I walk around Manhattan wearing a fannypack. A BLACK LEATHER fannypack.

    I defy the universe to tell me there's a better way to be!

  4. I love the web site. Max is so cute!
    Some uncool things.... I love womens babershop music, and yes I did sing in a group.
    I usually wear very worn and paint covered jeans,(in public).
    I have you beat on the shoes,I have a pair of moccasins from 8th grade.
    I use nail polish to cover cracks in the linolium.
    The list goes on...

  5. You know, I am struggling to think of a single thing about me that IS cool!! But then again, I think that uncool is actually the new cool ;-).

  6. There you go, telling all my secrets! It makes me sound like I actually thought I was cool until we got the minivan. When actually, the minivan was just the last nail in the coffin of coolness.
    I have been losing it since we moved to the suburbs, stopped going to movies, and look forward to vacations so we can sleep!

  7. I refuse to do a minivan. SUV all the way.
    I don't have a problem with those who do, but I just can't do it.
    I tend to overdress & some of the parents sometimes look at me like why. I can't help it, I got used to the wardrobe.
    I still live in the 80's. Dallas is still mt favorite show. I find people my age are like "what are you talking about" most of the time - that's always been the case though.
    I'm a kids nose picker too - but not in public. We have to have clean noses & clean faces.
    I do the comb over little boy haircut for both my boys. I just think it looks so nice. I'm making them incool as well. Mitch got very upset when his dad tried to spike his hair & told him "I need to keep a neat appearance Daddy" - yeah, I have my 3 year old talking like that.
    1/2 of my clothes are from jr high & high school. I don't know why I can't part with them!
    Jenny from Yahoo can't get my account to post here, oh well, GMAIL here I come I guess. I just discovered your blog & love it! I have a special needs son as well. He's high functioning autistic & an amazing kid.


Thanks for sharing!

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