Thursday, December 23, 2010

This is how I do it

"How do you do it?" people ask.
Which always gives me pause
because while I often feel
like I am barely keeping up with life
and there are days
when even taking a deep breath
feels like a luxury,
there is no question:
I do whatever I can
for my child—
just like any mom.
I have no exceptional mom abilities,
no particular mom tricks.
Well, actually, my trick is that
I try to feel content
with "whatever I can."
Even if I cannot do
every single therapy exercise
or every thing the teacher suggests
or look into every educational toy
or upload new photos onto the iPad every weekend
or etc. etc. etc.
Even if I ignore things
like the drooling that isn't getting better
or the seizures that are still a possibility.
Even if there are weekends
when we watch entirely too much TV
or there are times
when I really
just want to be alone.
This is how I do it: I sometimes don't do it.
And I've learned to be OK with that.


  1. Amen! And Happy Holidays - may you watch too much TV and get some alone time this holiday season.

  2. Yes, that's my plan of action too:)
    Merry Christmas!!

  3. Ellen, this is brilliantly simple and beautiful. I may have to make my own version and print up cards to give to all this people who want to put me on some kind of pedestal (or throw a pity party!) just for being a mother to my beautiful son.

  4. I'm finding it hard to get the balance right. Sometimes I think Josh gets all of my energy and there is little left for the other 4 or hubby.

  5. very well said...we do it because we love our children. just like any other mother does. we just do some things differently.

  6. Merry Christmas to all of you too! This season is making me particularly pensive. I think I need to get OUT more! Happily, we are about to embark on a little Vermont getaway.

  7. Amen to that!!!!!! Merry Christmas to you & yours Ellen!

  8. Thank you for this post. Perfect timing for a rough week for our little man. You've made my morning - thank you!
    Merry Christmas Ellen and to your family. I hope you enjoy every minute of your holidays - you deserve it for helping SO many of us all year long. Cheers!!
    :) Rose

  9. Great post! Thank you. :-) Just what I needed to read this morning.

  10. You're playing my song!!!

  11. I think this is my all-time favorite blog post of 2010. It resonates. Very, very well done.

  12. this is fabulous. Moms have way too much pressure to do it all. I think the more people are okay with not being able to do it all all the time, the more they are actually able to get done well.

  13. Love it! I swear you're in my head sometimes. Happy Holidays to you and yours.

  14. You said it! We tilled our garrden three times, but just never had time to plant anything. Maybe next year.

  15. couldn't have said it better.
    Love to you and Max and hope your Christmas is the best. XXX

  16. SUCH a wonderful post!!! Merry Christmas :)

  17. Beautifully said... Cheers! And I'm in Vermont, so if a giddily smiling woman approaches you to say what a big fan of your blog she is, I hope you'll be patient and tolerate her. Lucky for you we are heading to CT for a few days... Best wishes for the holiday season! Leah

  18. so beautifully if we can all follow your example and be satisfied with it!!

  19. Thank you... for at least attempting to be content with what you have and not constantly lament what you do not have. It makes me feel not alone in my quest for the same.

  20. Ellen, you are such an inspiration to all moms and a wonderful mother to your children. Happy new year.


Thanks for sharing!

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