The stuff kids say about special-needs kids

A conversation on the beach with two kids who were observing Max.

Kid #1: "Why doesn't he talk?"

Me: "He's not talking yet."

Kid #2: "Why don't you teach him?"

Me: "We do. He's just not fully talking yet.

Kid #1: "Even when he's a grownup, he won't talk?"

Me: "I hope he will talk."

Adult questions about Max, I can handle. But conversations with kids—especially ones who are about Max's age, as these two were—get to me. Inevitably, I start wondering what Max would have been like if he could talk, and that's not a good place to go.

Sometimes, when I'm with Max and we're around other kids who don't know him, I watch them watching him. They tend to blatantly stare, as kids do, and look perplexed. Once in a while a kid will ask "Is he a baby?" Max doesn't yet understand what they're saying about him, which is a mixed blessing.

Are kids sometimes harder to handle than adults for you, too?

Max's best friend in the whole, wide world

It's Sabrina, of course. Like any bff's, they giggle together, sometimes have it out with each other and can usually be found hanging at the local bar. (Kidding! They never fight. Right.) Sabrina's very protective of him. She speaks to Max in this sing-songy voice when he's agitated (it sounds like "Maaaaa-aaaaaax"), strokes his hair with her chubby little hand when he's hurt and proudly announces when he comes to her school, "That's my brother!" She's two years younger than he is and yet, because of his disabilities, she's more like his big sister.

Max doesn't have the biggest social life; he visits with my friends' kids and there's this great special-needs "kids' camp" he goes to on Sunday mornings, but I haven't gone out of my way to make playdates with kids who have cerebral palsy or other disabilities. This leaves me feeling guilty, and I keep meaning to make plans with kids in Max's class (he's at a school for the disabled). Then somehow, I never do. Maybe it's denial. While I like having Max around normally-developing kids, I also think it would be good for him to be with kids more like himself. I need to get going on that. Sabrina will understand.

Word of the day: O-BA-MA!