Thursday, May 6, 2021

Mom for the win, every single day

I pulled off a major feat of repair last night. The garbage disposal had inexplicably stopped working and resetting the power button hadn't done the trick. Given that nobody in the house had noticed or cared that we no longer had a functioning garbage disposal, I had added it to my list of One Million Things To Do. But I had some dinner remains that I wanted to grind up, and I got it into my head that I was going to fix it. 

I pulled out the various bottles of cleaner beneath the sink, sat down on the floor and scoured  YouTube. I discovered that there was a good chance a thingie called an "inner flywheel" was jammed. And I had better not stick my hand down the garbage disposal! Which I had, of course, done More googling ensued to figure out what an "inner flywheel" was. Also, I needed an "Allen wrench" thingie to loosen up the "inner flywheel" thingie. 

Our junk drawer is either the most messiest part of our house or the most magical, depending on the day. I dug through it and unearthed a mini metal rod that had a bent end, kind of like the Allen wrench. It was in a plastic baggie with a stickie I'd written that said, "If Ben ever gets stuck inside the bathroom, use this to unlock the door." I shined a flashlight on the underside of the disposal, spotted a center hole and tried to move the rod inside it except it was too thin. So I headed back to the junk drawer and that's when I found a legit Allen wrench thingie, complete with the note I'd also so wisely scrawled on a stickie: "Garbage disposal wrench." 

I mean. Who in my family would ever think to actually save the wrench that came with the garbage disposal, actually store it in a bag, and actually put it in a place that made sense? 


Already that day, I had scored dozens of unrecognized, unacknowledged, unappreciated and unsung mom wins including:

• We ran out of Worcestershire sauce BUT I HAD AN EXTRA BOTTLE IN THE CABINET. Along with backup jars of other Important Condiments like Nutella.  
• Nobody could find a left soccer cleat UNTIL I DUG IT OUT OF THE CLOSET.
• There was a medical form for one of my children that was supposed to be dropped off at the doctor's office by Someone in My House because I had delegated it to him owing to my list of One Million Things To Do and I PESTERED THAT SOMEONE UNTIL HE DID IT.
• There was a clear sticky mess all over the floor in front of our fridge, likely apple juice, that nobody noticed—there were actual footprints in it and how can you step on a sticky mess and ignore it but anyhoo—AND I CLEANED IT ALL UP, INCLUDING THE SATELLITE STICKY SPOTS THAT HAD GOTTEN IN OTHER PARTS OF THE KITCHEN.
• Also, our glass table outside had turned a not-lovely shade of green because of the pollen—there was an actual outline where someone had put a book on it and how can you just put a book on that stuff and ignore it but anyhoo— I CLEANED AND SNEEZED AND CLEANED AND SNEEZED. 
• As the unofficial remote control first responder in our home, I RESCUED THE APPLE TV REMOTE FROM UNDER THE SOFA CUSHION. 
• I noticed one of the bathroom hand towels was full of mystery grime AND I PUT A NEW ONE IN, SPARING MY FAMILY FROM MYSTERY GRIME. 
• There was a whole pile of mismatched socks lying on a chest in Max's room that nobody wanted to deal with AND I MATCHED THEM ALL UP.
• Ben is obsessed with the show Miraculous Ladybug and unfortunately the dolls break within about five minutes of getting them and I know this because we are on our fifth set and Cat Noir's legs fell off and  I CLEVERLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO REATTACH THEM WITH RUBBER BANDS. 
• While I was in the backyard planting grass seed for the spots that had gotten destroyed by outdoor toys and playsets, I noticed a tall branch randomly sticking out from a rose brush AND I WENT TO THE GARAGE AND GRABBED OUR CUTTING SHEARS AND CUT THE BRANCH DOWN, THEREBY RESTORING FENG SHUI TO OUR YARD AND ENSURING THAT EVERYONE WOULD HAVE A ZEN SPRING, AND I EVEN WIPED DOWN THE CUTTING SHEARS SO THEY WOULD NOT RUST. Amazing, amIright?
• In a trifecta of household negligence, three bathrooms were completely out of t.p. AND I REPLACED ALL THE T.P. (You may have read about my talent for noticing we are out of t.p. several years ago here.)
• Ben's preschool had asked for photos of him over the years to share for his graduation ceremony and I DUG THROUGH THREE YEARS OF PHOTOS OF BEN AND FOUND GREAT ONES.
• The lovely pink begonias I put into the planter on our front porch that nobody waters except for me were wilting AND I REMEMBERED TO DO IT AND SO WHAT IF IT WAS 1:05 A.M. CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE NOBODY SAW ME IN MY NIGHTGOWN WITH A WATERING CAN ON OUR FRONT PORCH.

Mom win win win win win win win win win win win win win etc.

So many mom wins every single day, every single month, every single week, every single year. And there I was with my Allen wrench thingie, scoring yet another. I lay down on the floor, shined the flashlight on the disposal and inserted the wrench. This time it caught, and after wiggling it back and forth a few times I felt something come unstuck. When I jumped up,  turned on the garbage disposal and heard that sweet whirrrrrrr, I said "YEAH!" out loud to the empty kitchen.

As I was putting the bottles away beneath the sink, Dave walked in. And I just had to give credit where it was due. 

"Honey, I fixed the garbage disposal!" I proclaimed. 

"You did? Wow!" he said with not as much enthusiasm and appreciation as I felt I deserved. 

I pressed on: "Would you believe I actually saved the wrench it came?!"  

"Wow!" he said again. "Amazing!" And then he went off in search of a seltzer. 

And I realized that in his mind, I had simply fixed the garbage disposal and in my mind, fixing the garbage disposal was the equivalent of sending astronauts to outer space because that's pretty much the level of credit I deserve for everything I do. 

So he got his seltzer and I put away the bottles under the sink and tucked that Allen wrench thingie into the little plastic bag and socked it away in the junk drawer, where it will remain until the next garbage disposal mom win. 

The end.*

*Not really.

1 comment:

  1. Mom for the win, indeed. Moms make the world go round and operate! :-) And on that note, Happy Mother’s Day weekend to you too!


Thanks for sharing!

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