Monday, February 9, 2015

Max would like to know if you're OK

THUNK! The sound came out of Dave's bathroom this weekend while he was showering; he'd dropped the soap.

"You OK?" Max asked, standing outside the door.

"Yes!" Dave said, and I smiled.

"You OK?" is my new favorite question.

Max has gotten to be pretty intuitive about when I'm upset or stressed; he knows when I could use a kiss. He's concerned about other people, too. If he's at a program and a kid is upset, he'll pat his back. The empathy's been a long time coming: Up until a few years ago, Max was pretty me-centric, and I worried it was because he needs—and gets—so much attention. It's one challenge raising a kid with special needs: You don't want them to feel like they are the center of your universe except, yeah, a lot of times they are the center of your universe. But I also think Max was expending a whole lot of mental and physical energy just existing, and maybe there wasn't a whole lot of him to give back.

Then a couple of months ago, the "You OK?" started. I'll leave Max in the living room with his iPad, go upstairs to do some cleaning and after a few minutes he'll stand at the bottom of the stairs and shout up, "You OK?" I'll stub my toe and wince and he'll ask, "You OK?" I'll honk the car horn at a driver who cut me off and Max will say, "You OK?" I'll cough and he'll say, "You OK?" I'll be on the phone with the insurance company grouching about an AWOL bill and he'll say, "You OK?" (Come to think of it, maybe I should get him on the phone with the insurance people. Rep: "I'm not sure where the bills you submitted are, they're not in the system." Max: "You OK?")

He asks Sabrina, too. She had a meltdown last night because she broke a lava lamp she recently got as a birthday present.

"You OK?" Max asked.


"You OK?" Max persisted.


Oh, but Max wasn't giving up:

"YOU OK?" he asked, a little more loudly.

"Yes," Sabrina grudgingly sniveled.

Max's speech therapist is psyched because she's been working on the "k" sound with him, so all the "You OKs?" are good practice. Me, I'm psyched because Max wants to make sure we're all OK.


  1. That's awesome Fireman Max! Way to go! Love the Max-Sabrina exchange. Totally typical.

  2. Compassion is the most important skill. I think Fireman Max has more compassion one cell than most people have in their entire bodies.

  3. Dang it LoveThatMax.. my internet fun is done for the day.. you made me cry.. I always stop when I cry.. of course .. it was a GOOD cry & "I'm OK !!!" Your friend in KCMO

  4. That's awesome! And Max, I'm OK now but I'll be more OK once all this snow melts! Your friend in Boston :)

  5. That is wonderful to hear! I do believe that "You OK?" - and the whole empathy thing - is a very important asset for a Fireman to have! :)

  6. Not to go all jargon-y and technical on you, but it looks like Fireman Max is developing into what neuropsychologists call "a really nice guy"!



Thanks for sharing!

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