Sunday, July 25, 2010

Special-needs parent epiphany #356,972: It's OK to enjoy the lingering baby-ness



Max has two new friends: Max and Ruby, of the TV show fame. We were in an ice-cream store this weekend and they had a whole bunch of cuddly creatures for kids and their sucker parents. I hadn't known Max likes the show so much—he sometimes watches it in the morning—but he grabbed Max and Ruby, and made a dash for the door. We caught him before he could start a life of crime.

"Max, we have to pay!" I said, and he nodded, gleefully. How could this sucker parent say no? I was actually thrilled to see him using his right hand, his weaker one, holding a toy. Also, Ruby and Max were better than the Plankton doll (of SpongeBob SquarePants fame) Sabrina originally wanted; she settled for Silly Bandz.

As Max wandered down the street, I noticed a few people staring. The dolls definitely made Max look a little baby-like. In the car, he started babbling at Ruby and Max. We had no idea what he was saying to them—most likely, it wasn't "I totally intend to pay back Mommy and Daddy for the ridiculous amount you cost!"—but I didn't care. I loved hearing Max using his voice, playing with sounds and powering up his imagination.


At home, the Ruby and Max and Max lovefest continued. He propped them on pillows in the living room, he stuck them in trucks, he asked Dave to pretend to brush their teeth, he put them to bed.

What occurred to me, now that the kids are asleep and I have actual time to think, is how much cuteness I still get to enjoy with Max. When he was very young, I missed out on the babbling and playing with stuffed animals stages because back then, he couldn't enunciate many sounds or clutch things. I might not have fully appreciated them even if he had been able to do them; I was always so worried about what the future held for Max that I neglected to savor the yummy boy right in front of my face.

So I get to have these moments with Max now—and I fully intend to savor them. They may be infantile behaviors but they are signs of progress. And boy, are they cute.

16 comments:

  1. I totally agree. It's great that you can take a big step back and notice these pearls. Enjoy Momma! And don't worry about the outrageous pricetag on the dolls...money well spent.

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  2. You know what keeps me content? I don't compare. I figure each child is on their own path, and the only comparing I do is between the behavior today and the behavior yesterday, last week or last year....

    Who wants to keep up with the Joneses anyway? If those Joneses are going so fast that we have trouble keeping up with them, maybe they are going somewhere that we don't wanna go!

    I think an "age appropriate" toy is one that a kid will actually PLAY with, regardless of what it says on the box.

    Yay for Max and Ruby...and pity they didn't name Ruby Sabrina! That would have been TOO cool!

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  3. Oh, too cute! Max looks like he's taking fantastic care of them, too. Watch out-- right now he's happy parenting rabbits, but next he's going to be asking you for a little brother or sister!

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  4. I LOVE what @Felicia said about this post and couldn't agree more: "I think an 'age appropriate' toy is one that a kid will actually PLAY with, regardless of what it says on the box."

    We have the same Max and Ruby dolls- and watch lots of M&R DVDs around here, too. I like how Ruby takes care of her brother, but that Max is usually the one who knows what's what. Or something. Whatever. It's a cute show!

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  5. I think Max's imaginative play sounds beautiful. I have the same reactions when I see Ben enjoying something for children younger than him. But then I see how happy he is, and I think -- what can be wrong with that?

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  6. I love how well he's taking care of his Max and Ruby! :) That is definitely Max Appropriate, and that's what matters. It's hard sometimes not to think about the ages and such. My daughter still plays with baby toys. I am constantly on the look-out for new baby toys that play music or light up. But if they make her happy ... then isn't that the goal? :)

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  7. I'm totally with you on this one! I've been missing from bloggy land and finally got a second to read some of your recent posts. Oh, how I miss having others who "get" this unique world we live in.

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  8. Ellen,

    I love it. Kids grow up so fast and it's nice to enjoy them as kids for a little longer. And how many of us so-called adults wouldn't like to relive our childhoods some days. Your pictures are priceless.

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  9. Maybe Max does see these two cute rabbits as himself and Sabrina, he is very nurturing, I think that is a nice reflection on you. I especially love that he wanted Dave to brush their teeth. He tucked them in and put them to bed. Just shows me how content he really is.

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  10. That lingering baby-ness is one of my favorite things about my daughter with down syndrome. She is 3 but is still such a baby in a lot of ways and I am just soaking it up! :)

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  11. I think that as parents of any kids, we generally forget to enjoy the small moments that will be gone before too long, because we are so busy worrying about other things, including the future. My 7 year old told me this morning I didn't need to walk him to the bus because it was embarrasing (boo) but then gave me a huge kiss right on the lips as he walked away from me. Happy and sad that they are getting big, but we need to remember to enjoy the small stuff (this is being typed as said 7 year old just stormed up the stairs yelling "I have no idea what you're talking about and never will..." - sigh).

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  12. I totally agree. My daughter has had so many delays (speech, gross motor, etc) that we had an extended babyhood. I know I will miss it when it goes away.

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  13. Yay for Max and you!!! That is something that I am so thankful for. I am a type A big time multi-tasking personality. I had planned to wear my baby in a sling and nurse him and go about my daily tasks. I was gonna do. It. All. Until...Jack was born & he was NOT going to be multi-tasked. He has made me sloooooow down & appreciate many of the little bits of things. He is in a similar stage with his Elmo. He even takes Elmo for rides on his tricycle. It is so wonderful!

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  14. I have a 3 year old named Max and he loves Max and Ruby. It's ok to let your son have stuff like that. They are only little once! I was in an elevator at the Gap w/ my son over the weekend while my wife was shopping and we were going up and down the elevator pushing buttons. A mom came in and laughed and said enjoy it while you can. She said her son was 23 years old and she wishes her son still did stuff like that. It's funny, the things we do for our kids...

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  15. These comments all made me so happy! Even though I am about to keep over from sleep deprivation! All great reinforcement to enjoy these moments—rather than worrying about the delays.

    Marie, I'm still a crazy multi-tasker but Max really has taught me to slow down in some ways.

    Proud Poppa: You have excellent taste in names.

    Janet: Interesting thought! I wonder if he is pretending the toys are him and Sabrina. But if that were true, he might be stomping on Ruby's head, given how much Sabrina has been torturing him lately. More on that another time.

    Felicia: Once again, you've said it, sister!!!!

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  16. I totally agree. Enjoy that he enjoys them. My son Baily will be 9 in December and he carries a stuffed doll around. It was a Monkey but it fell a part after years of the carrying and dancing etc that he did with it. The last time the arm came off a few weeks ago he got mad at "Monkey" and went with the doll since. Lots of people stare but he is happy and no one can take that away from him. I just laugh when I am also tucking in a stuffed doll and have to give it "hugkiss" along with him at bed time.

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Thanks for sharing!



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