Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Please don't give my child special treatment (though I know you mean well)

Thanks again for the nice comments on the last post. Lurkers and Dave, that wasn't so hard, was it? Hee, hee.

We have a whirlwind of a week coming up: We're going to Hersheypark Thursday, then Sunday we're headed to Duke University for the stem cell therapy. May I just say, OMG! I didn't think I'd have challenges over at Hershey, chocolate bars don't tempt me, but today someone told me they make Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. This could be trouble. I think I am going to tell all of you exactly what I weigh, so that will be a deterrent for me to OD on them.

Um, maybe not. Wait, I know, Max! Let's talk about Max! He had a blast at the pool this weekend, a lady was there doing face-painting. Max went right to the front of the line. She asked the other kids if they minded, and they didn't.

I did.

I am OK with Max getting special treatment when it's truly necessary—like at Disney, the crowded lines wigged him out, so the special passes made sense. But when there are three kids waiting to get their faces painted and Max cuts the line, that's not OK. People think he's cute and they feel bad for him, so they grant him these favors. But Max needs to learn manners and patience; I don't want him to grow up to be the world's most obnoxious person with cerebral palsy. He also needs to learn that he IS like other kids. Nor do I want them to see him as an "other," or resent him.

So, I told Max he had to wait his turn. And he did. Then he pointed to the cupcake picture and the purple paint tube and the lady painted a purple cupcake on one of his hands.

Then he pointed to the picture of the fish, and she painted a fish on his other hand.

Then he pointed to the picture of the cupcake again and touched his face, so Max got a cupcake on his face.

Boy, was he happy.

Then I said, "Say thank you!" and he said something that sounded pretty close to it.

And boy, was I happy.


  1. I came out of the lurker closet on the last post, and I have a random question. I use macs, and your site always crashes the first time I open it. I can open it after one or two times, and I've learned to read your blog really quickly! This happens on both of my laptops--one is a new macbook pro. Maybe you or a reader has an idea? This may not be proper blog etiquette, so I hope you aren't dismayed that I stopped lurking.

    Great pictures of Max!


  2. Oh great, the first thing I read in the morning is about peanut butter cups and cupcakes - now I'm craving chocolate at 8 AM! Haha.
    I completely agree with you about our kids getting special treatment when it's not really necessary. We've had that a few times, and it really irks me. I know people mean well, but it doesn't help Daniel in the least. It also makes it obvious that they don't see Daniel for the capable, more or less "typical" child he is, but rather as a "special" child.
    I'm so looking forward to hearing about the stem cell therapy - and the trip to Hershey. A very promising medical treatment and a chocolate- themed vacation - sounds like the perfect weekend!

  3. Great pics, Ellen. You also made some good points that I should file in the old memory banks.

  4. cute pics...I totally agree with you about some special treatment and teaching the kids.

  5. It's a tough balancing act. I would be lying if I said there were times that "special treatment" speeded up the wheels of progress and enabled us to accomplish an objective without a lot of meltdown and drama. On the other hand, you don't want your babies to get the mistaken idea that the world was made to wait on them.

    I was made to love Reese's. If I were you I'd just go with the flow--how often do you visit the Temple of Peanut Butter and Chocalaty Goodness?

    I always say "Live for today--I'll diet tomorrow!"

  6. I, too, have a Mac and your blog crashes my browser every single time. I use Firefox, and I've learned that if I click the "X" that stops the page from loading as soon as I see your site come up, that I can avoid the problem. Your blog is the ONLY site that crashes my browser.

    As for your post, I'm happy that you said that. For the most part, I want Emmett to be treated like any other child. His grandparents don't get that *at all* and think I'm being mean to him (when I'm treating him the same say I treat my daughter).

  7. my mom always treated me the same. I have an older brother and once when we were out he started hitting me. I did something to provoke him. Someone we were with was shocked & said something about me being "special." the response from my mom, "we don't use that word, & geez, what do you expect an older brother to do.

    However, there are sometimes (post surgery mostly, but not always) where I really cannot stand & she had no problem telling the grocery store to open up another lane or going in express w/more food. We would call resturants where we knew there would be a wait but that did not take reservations "we're leaving now, be there in 20mins, put us on the list NOW." Not everyone is nice enough to give up their seat for me @ IHOP or wherever. What is wrong w/that?

    Just found your blog. Like it.

  8. Interesting comments about the mac because it also crashes both my mac computers. I thought it was the computer, so I tried the other one (which is also a mac), but the same thing happened. I have to stop the page from loading quickly after I open the page before it completely crashes me. I think it's something to do with a video? I don't see any videos on this site, so I'm always surprised when it tells me it's a video crashing my Safari browser.

    Love the blog! So nice that he got 3 paintings! He is a charmer :-)

  9. I agree with you too and certain situations it is okay for Sean to get "special treatment" but it is not okay for all of the time and when he expects it to be!

    Now you have me craving pb cups! Hey I never got anything for the subway win either???



  10. I love how your blog gets me thinking!

    I really don't need any help thinking about chocolate, though. I DO love Reese Cups and just about anything chocolate, so Hershey Park would be a BAD idea for me. I say - why resist the wonderful cups? How many times do you go to Hershey Park?

    I completely agree with what you are saying about special treatment. There is a time and a place for things. There definitely has to be a balance between the times when it is necessary and it isn't. Very well said (as always).

  11. I agree, good manners are essential, no cutting corners (or lines)!

  12. I am so sorry about the computer crashing, I am going to have some sort of expert look into that as soon as I find, um, some sort of expert! Oh, and thanks a LOT for encouragement to eat a bazillion peanut butter cups, I needed that!!!!!!! :)

  13. totaly agree

    I have the same problem as laura

  14. ://cnettv.cnet.com

    For what it's worth, my husband thinks the problem lies in the above code (the cnettv part).

    I've been just hitting the X to stop loading the page as Julia suggested and that works.



  15. Laura, eternal thanks to your husband, there was bad HTML code on that video. Listen to me, talking about HTML code. If I had any tech brain whatsoever, I wouldn't have ignored that BIG message that cropped up when I posted the video alerting me that the video had screwy HTML code.

  16. Laura, PS, I am so glad you came out of the lurking closet. Really. I encourage all lurkers to come out and...play. :)

  17. By the way, I have a mac and I have the same problem as the others! Incidentally enough, my husband is a Mac genius. Really. He worked for Apple many years ago and still hasn't worked his geeky genius tendencies out of his system. I'll ask him in the morning if anything can be done.

  18. I hear you on this! I want BC to know how to wait when he has to and also for other kids to see him as just one of the gang.

    On the other hand, very happy to have a car parking sticker so we don't have to park really far away and also to be able to be first to board planes etc.

    I think it boils down to not wanting SPECIAL treatment, but wanting equal access ;-).

    AND all the best of luck for the stem cell treatment. I am so excited for you guys!! I really, really hope it goes well.

    AND just at the thought of a place called 'Hersheypark' I am sure I have gained 5kg. You already know I love Reeses peanut butter cups ;-). Have a great time there!


Thanks for sharing!

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