Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Why this night was different than all other nights


We celebrated Passover last night, momentous because Max sat through the seder (the traditional dinner) for the first time, and because I only had to go on Facebook twice to ask for advice about cooking brisket (consensus: I needed to cook it for an hour more).

During the seder, the youngest child asks The Four Questions—really, four answers to one question, which is "Why is this night different than all other nights?" The answers go on to detail what's special about Passover, including the fact that we eat matzo (flat, unleavened bread), not bread.

But last night, there were five answers: The night was different because Max sat through the entire Passover meal. In other years, the tradition has been for him to hang in another room watching TV as our family said the prayers and told the story of Passover (in short: the Jews were slaves in Egypt, Moses lead them out and parted the sea, then they all starred in a reality show).

But Max has seriously matured this past year and is having all sorts of breakthroughs. It's funny because I've also matured, and I wasn't expecting him to stay for the seder. I'd pretty much accepted that he wouldn't and I wasn't even sad about it, as I have been in previous years.

Things were different starting yesterday morning, when Max was so excited that everyone was coming over. He showed me which seat he was going to sit in. He giggled when he got off the school bus in anticipation, and he greeted everyone animatedly when they walked in. His only demands: headphones and a pre-dinner cocktail of chocolate milk.

Max listened to the entire seder. He downed a bazillion servings of sweet potatoes. He seemed genuinely happy. Dave kept shooting me "Can you believe this?!" looks from across the table.


After dinner, Sabrina and her little cousins participated in the ancient ritual of Katy Perry karaoke. Then we all got on a sugar high from dessert, including the world's most amazing flourless chocolate cake Sabrina and I made from this Real Simple recipe. Max's belly looked like it might explode.

When I tucked Max in, he put his hands together, the symbol for "more."

"You want another seder?" I asked.

"Yeah!" he said. "Please?"

He was in luck, because there are two Passover seders. This time, it'll be just the four of us. And I have a feeling tonight will be different than all other nights, too.

21 comments:

  1. Precious! What a HUGE success! Blessings to you and your family!

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  2. That is awesome! Way to go, Max! I'm so happy for your whole family. Chag Sameach!

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  3. It's moments like this. This right here. That make you forget the hundreds of desperate and difficult moments before. These triumphant moments of pure bliss. That look your husband shoots you across the table (mentioned here) - that bond you have in a shared "Can you BELIEVE it?!" glorious, beautiful moment. Success. Happiness. Hope. LOVE.

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    1. My daughter's posts at www.notjustanyone, about my grandson always make me tear up. This one did, too, and I couldn't find the words to say why, until I read Mamamia's response. This is exactly what I wanted to reply, once my tears subsided!

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    2. Sorry, didn't give complete blog address. www.notjustanyone.org.

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  4. Congratulations on Max's massive achievement, and such a wonderful occasion for his developing maturity to show itself.

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  5. What a beautiful milestone all its own. So happy for all of you!

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  6. This is so precious. Thank-you for sharing.
    Heather

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  7. I love this post! Such a wonderful way to celebrate the holiday. Zissen Pesach Ellen, and many more happy seders for you and your family.

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  8. Happy Pesach! Ellen, have you considered Bar Mitzvah for Max? Here in Atlanta, children with CP are Bar Mitzvahed. One young man, who is totally non-verbal and immobile, but loves the synagogue, especially the music, became a Bar Mitzvah last year. His classmates, who knew him for years, gathered lovingly around him and read all of his parts in the service. Very touching. Enjoy your second seder. Janet Beerman, member of The Temple, Atlanta, GA

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  9. So proud of Max - I could tell that he just loved having his family there and that probably gave him a sense of comfort and made him want to stick around. Thanks for an amazing evening.

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  10. I'm glad everyone had a good time.

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  11. I'm so proud of you, Max! Have a blessed Passover all of you <3

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  12. That is wonderful! I remember the first time my boy was able to sit through a large family meal. I am glad you have received that blessing too! - Gary

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  13. Ah, I remember sitting through my first full length Seder! So lovely Max sat through this year's :)

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  14. You gave me goosebumps. Family traditions are so important and it is always so wonderful when our kids want to and can participate.

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  15. It looks like you had a lovely Passover celebration. Even though I am a Christian I see the beauty and importance of celebrating the Old Testament feasts. I don't believe that Christians should have stopped celebrating them!

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  16. This made me smile! So glad that Max enjoyed the Seder this year. Hopefully a new tradition for years to come! Happy Passover, Max and family!

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  17. Ahh, Max, rockin' a sound-cancelling kippah.

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  18. Now this is a blog entry that leaves you with unambigously good, heartwarming feelings and teaches you greatfulness & appreciation for things we all ought to appreciate more, like festive dinners with the whole family.
    I'm glad your son was able to enjoy the holiday with the rest of you.

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Thanks for sharing!



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