Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Special needs mom guilt (and not going there)
I let the kids watch TV for hours on Sunday mornings so I can have time to myself. This actually does not give me guilt, as I mentioned in Mom Fails Women Refuse To Feel Guilty About. I deserve me time. I need me time. Desperately.
As parents of kids with special needs, we juggle a whole lot. That means there's a lot of stuff that we could be doing at any given moment, and a lot of stuff that we could feel guilty about for not doing...if we let ourselves go there.
Sure, guilt strikes at times. Like when I don't get around to programming Max's iPad with new words, say, or I leave the house without a bib for him and his shirt gets sopping wet. At times, I get a stab of I'm-not-doing-enough-for-him guilt. And I definitely felt bad about sending him to picture day in a crappy t-shirt, though that had a happy ending.
Rationally, I know that I can't meet Max's needs 24/7 or do every single thing the therapists recommend. That it is not possible to always be on top of Max's physical demands, even if it means he's outgrowing his foot braces and I have yet to get a new prescription (true story). I can't have eternal patience for his quirks, because listening to YouTube videos of Disney Cruise ships blowing their horns is slowly but surely driving me insane. (Note to self: Could it be a government conspiracy?)
This is because I am far from perfect. But as we well know, perfection is overrated. I generally think I'm doing a good job, or at least an OK job. And sometimes, OK is enough.
How about you: What do you refuse to feel guilty about as a mom?
Posted by Ellen Seidman at 6:44 AM