Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Proud to be a special needs warrior mom


This week, I'm once again doing battle with the insurance company over paying for Max's speech and occupational therapy. They're not reimbursing us and damned if I'm not going to keep pressing them on it.

This week, my friend Kate and her son with special needs are visiting a world-renowned specialist; the guy has a year-long waiting list but Kate talked her way in there.

This week, I learned about a mom in Maryland who is fighting to get her child with learning disabilities placed in a classroom that's more appropriate for him.

This is what we do as moms of kids with special needs: nudge, push, plead, persist, cajole, persuade, convince, argue, and, on occasion, have a total hissy fit to get our kids the therapies, equipment, services and whatever help they need.

And we manage to do all that and look like Beyoncé! Or some days, like the chick above, but mostly like Beyoncé.

We may get weary (wow, do we get weary), but no matter what we will make another call and send another email and write another letter and file another complaint and sweet-talk the person booking appointments and demand another meeting and find an advocate or attorney, if need be. We learn the lingo, trust our instincts, stick to our guns, and at times bluff our way through. There is nothing—nothing—we will not do for our kids.

Because we want our kids to have every possible chance to strengthen their bodies and minds and overcome their challenges.

Because we want to get them every single resource that is available, and then some—we are greedy that way.

Because we want, more than we've ever wanted anything in life, to enable our children and help them thrive.

Because if we don't, who will?

It's kind of mind-boggling what we pull off, and if we think too hard about it we might never again emerge from beneath the bed sheets, so it's best not to ponder and just power through.

We are special needs warrior moms, and we are proud. Because when we look at the progress our kids make, and how far they have come, we know it's all worth it.


Image: istock/Ershova Veronica

19 comments:

  1. Because if we don't, who will?

    Wonderfully spoken, thanks for sharing your heart. Loved the post.

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  2. I read this Fall about a Jewish blessing. "Eshet Chayil." Women of valor. That is you. Bless you today.

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    1. What a wonderful way to put it, a Woman of Valor for sure!

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  3. I love this! So encouraging and so beautifully written.

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  4. You are a warrior mom God bless you for all you do :)

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  5. Ain't that the truth. I remember breaking down & crying at one of my son's IFPS meetings - terrible moment really & not the strongest I've ever been, but it was right after diagnosis & I was so overwhelmed with the task of having to fight for something we all knew he needed, because of a system that does not have enough therapists or enough money available. And then this year, our health insurance changed & no longer has our beloved neurology & ABA office in network - we've already begun the out-of-network reimbursement dance & it's only January - but I refuse to move him to another place when I know how much this place has meant to us. And my child is only just shy of 3. I applaud you, Mrs. Max's Mom & all of you moms who fight over & over again for what you know is needed & will definitely be worth the fight.

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  6. helps to read this, thanks. yesterday i was SO sad b/c of ANOTHER denial for a medication my son needs. multiple specialists from multiple hospitals have implored the insurance company to approve the medication. then, at the suggestion of a pharmacist friend, i went to the drug company. they denied us yesterday, and wouldn't say why, it's not a medication that is affordable to pay out of pocket. i am so, so tired of fighting.

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  7. Thanks for this! Just yesterday I got a letter stating that the insurance is denying my son's foot braces. I was told by his Dr. that we could try braces 1st but he may have to have surgery. Seriously? Wouldn't they rather pay for the braces than surgery- which he'll have to have without the braces. It said in the letter I can appeal. I don't know if that will work but I will try.

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    1. appeals work! they just try to wear you down. for most of our stuff they make us appeal just to punish us, and then we win the appeal. it's AWFUL. but seriously, don't give up! also, something i learned from a reader this year is that all insurance companies have advocates. if you buy private insurance, you ask the person who sold you the insurance to get the info for the advocates. if it's through your job, HR can figure it out for you. without the advocate we would not have gotten my son's asthma med.

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  8. Warrior Mama's for Warrior kiddos! Great post. For those fighting with insurance, we had to start fighting for coverage beginning at delivery - we appealed over and over, and after a hearing won. Afterwards, a community member who was on the appeal board old us so many people don't fight it all the way through...and insurance companies hope people just fall off. Keep fighting! It also helps to contact your state's Department of Health, complaints and appeals division, and complain. It helps to have them vocalize to the insurance company that they are watching. We also got any and all elected officials involved, and several wrote letters to our insurgence carrier urging them to provide coverage. Every little bit helps!

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  9. Cheers to all Warrior Moms. I'm sharing this, sharing this, sharing this....to anyone who will listen,

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  10. thanks. I'm having one of the weary days and I really needed that pep talk. really, thanks.

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  11. Move to Canada :) lol. I'm not saying that we're perfect. On the opposite side of your problem. We have to wait forever. One time when I was about Max's age I needed a corner seat (like a booster chair). And by the time I got it I had grown out of it. I have also waited 7+ months to get my wheelchair fixed (it's fixed now :))

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  12. I would much rather be a warrior mom rather than a stressed out one! Thanks for the reminder!

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  13. I had a couple of years when I didn't have to worry about that stuff because we didn't have any insurance. We had to turn to the state for medical care and that wasn't easy to get either. Things are better now, thank heaven and the Obamacare is going to help a lot of people who were in my situation.

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  14. Because if I don't speak for myself, who will speak for me?

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  15. Loving the title! I became an advocate because I was struggling w/ both the medical and education systems that were supposed to be helping our family and didn't want other families to have to go thru this. Parents can find free help from other parents who are health advocates by contacting Family Voices or the Family-to-Family Health Information Center in their state at http://www.familyvoices.org/states

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  16. Hats off to you, warrior moms everywhere!

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Thanks for sharing!