21 hours ago
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Photo Carnival: My favorite picture of my child
This is my all-time favorite photo of Max. He was nine months old. An old friend had gotten him this outfit; I put him in it one sunny fall morning and did a photo shoot on our bed.
I love this picture of Max for many reasons: because Max is ridiculously adorable, because his cheeks and hands are so yummy-plump, because he's got such a giddy look on his face, because of that cap. But most of all, I love it because taking it brought me joy—true joy—during the hardest year of my life.
I've mentioned before that when Max was very young, I'd get so consumed by anxiety about what the future held for him that I'd neglect to savor his baby-ness. On the morning I took this picture, though, I wasn't thinking about anything except how damn cute he looked.
Max was a smiley kid back then, too, and he beamed at me as I propped him on pillows and clucked at him and took shot after shot after shot. Even the fact that he was focusing excited me. The stroke had messed up his vision and for the first six months of his life, Max couldn't look directly at me. I felt deprived of those tender moments that are supposed to come with being a parent. I worried that I wasn't connecting with Max, and he wasn't connecting with me. I'd see ads with moms gazing into their baby's eyes and I'd feel pained.
While I was going nuts with the photos, Dave came in and we had what felt like our first normal moment as parents. For just a little while, we forgot about the delays and the cerebral palsy and the therapists and the endless doctor appointments and the stress and we enjoyed our beautiful boy.
And that is what I think about every single time I see this photo.
I'm looking forward to seeing your favorite picture of your child. What to do: Post it on your blog, explain why it's a fave, include a link to this carnival, then enter the name of your blog and direct link for your post below so everyone can swing by and check it out.
Posted by Ellen Seidman at 12:01 AM