13 hours ago
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
If Max had more words, what would he say?
I was on a crowded train today and there was a little boy, about three years old, riding with his mom. An elderly gent struck up a conversation with him. Suddenly the kid said to the guy, "You have a big nose."
Everyone on our side of the car cracked up. It is not a usual occurrence to have a car packed with New York City subway riders congenially laughing together; typically, it's just one cuckoo guy cackling to himself as everyone avoids eye contact with him.
"Well, I never knew that about my nose!" the guy said, totally amused, and everyone laughed again.
As I stood there, I started wondering what sort of crazy stuff Max might say if words could easily flow from his mouth. This is not to say Max doesn't communicate in his own way; he most definitely, and gloriously, does. Through words he says, some very clear and some garbled, though I understand him; through signing; through his Dynavox communication device (he has phrases on it; someday, he'll form sentences).
It was just one of those reveries you sometimes have as the parent of a kid with special needs, wondering what another version of your child might be like. They're not sad musings. They're just...musings.
This is what I could hear Max saying:
"Mom, please get me only purple clothing from now on. Including underwear."
"Can we live on the Disney boat? Please?"
"I would like only purple dishes, too. Also, I don't think it would cost a lot of money to paint the house purple, you can use what's in my piggy bank. You can use what's in Sabrina's piggy bank, but maybe don't mention it to her."
"These ugly braces on my feet are cramping my style. Doesn't Prada make DAFOs?"
"Of course I am completely capable of doing the potty thing. I choose not to get fully toilet trained because, well, skip it. It's an existential thing and you wouldn't really understand."
"MOOOOOOOOM! I KNOW YOU ARE SNEAKING OMEGA-3 OIL INTO MY FOOD AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
"Sabrina, if you don't stop chanting 'Max likes GREEN! Max likes GREEN!' in that snotty voice, I am not going to do fake-burp contests with you ever again. And by the way, I can burp so much better than you! But not better than Daddy."
"If we can't go on the Disney boat, can we just go on an airplane ride to someplace today?"
"Hey! How much does it cost to buy an airplane, anyway? Could it fit in our backyard?"
"Mom, I know you killed the ladybugs we were trying to breed. I forgive you but please, let us handle the next batch."
"I think it's OK to eat chocolate ice-cream for breakfast. It has calcium!"
"Suck it, Sabrina."
"OT and PT and speech therapy are fun and all, but how about we go out and get ourselves some cold brews?"