Showing posts with label Sibling rivalry and kids with special needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sibling rivalry and kids with special needs. Show all posts

Friday, February 12, 2010

Makes me happy to just look at this



...and I need that happiness because during these last two snow days, the kids have been fighting, pulling hair, hitting and yelling stuff at each other like "AAAAARGH!" (Max) and "I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!" (Sabrina). Max has one advantage over Sabrina, which is that he can easily grab hold of her hair and prevent her from moving until I pry his fingers off (and he has the world's tightest grip, mostly because of the cerebral palsy but partly, I am sure, because of his determination to exact revenge).

Watching them brings back memories of fighting with my sister and all I can say is, it's a wonder we each still have two eyeballs and all of our teeth.

Dave dug up this photo from the depths of his iPhone, taken when we were at the shore in September. Do you think it would help to print it out and wave it in the kids' faces the next time they are engaged in battle? I am only half-joking here.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Max's best friend—and worst tormenter


She's one and the same person. She's Sabrina.

I can't say I'm unfamiliar with sibling rivalry; my sister and I had a long-running case of it (hi, Judy!). I was pretty much the tormenter, and I don't think she'd argue with me on that. When we were toddlers, I can vividly recall chanting words that struck fear into her heart: "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY!" We fought over everything: whose half of the sandwich was bigger, who colored better, when to turn off the lights at night in the room we shared (I'm a night owl, she's not). We're best friends now. My little sis is due to have her first baby next week!

There's a different dynamic with Sabrina and Max, though. She may be two years younger than he is, but she is more mature, capable and cognizant. She also understands that he is not like other kids. She is also jealous of the extra attention she gets. She is also not great with the sharing thing yet. And, not for nothing, she has ten pounds on him.

She's his best friend when...she helps him do stuff, like pick up things he's having trouble grasping or holding.

She's his worst tormenter when...she grabs stuff he has, out of jealousy. Even when I buy each of them the same exact toy, inevitably she ends up wanting his over hers.

She's his best friend when...she translates what he's saying, like "Max says he wants to ride his bike!" or "Max wants to wear his Cars pajamas!" or "Max says he wants to watch Hannah Montana" (sometimes, we suspect she is not exactly translating what he wants).

She's his worst tormenter when...she pushes him down. Max is not so steady on his feet; when Sabrina gets mad at him, I've caught her giving him a shove and he inevitably falls. I've also caught her pinching him.

She's his best friend when...she lets him sit in her car seat. He always wants to sit in her car seat.

She's his worst tormenter when...she refuses to let him sit in her car seat, just because she knows he wants to.

She's his best friend when...she draws stuff for him. On every single drawing she's done lately, she writes both "Sabrina" and "Max."

She's his worst tormenter when...she does that "Na, na, na, na, na" thing—as in, "Na, na, na, na, na, you can't catch me!"

She's his best friend when...she gets all protective of him. Even downright motherly. Like when she wants to help rinse the shampoo out of his hair in the bath. Or when she holds a cup of water for him to drink from. Or when they're in a new situation and Max is feeling unsure of himself.

These videos, taken at the amusement park we visited over the weekend, pretty much sum up their relationship.

I totally forgot Max's swim gear (Space Cadet Mommy alert!). So I dressed the poor boy in a t-shirt and a Swimmies diaper I found in the trunk of the car. A Little Mermaid Swimmies diaper, no less. Max didn't seem to care and I figured nobody would notice, since the shirt was long. Not with Sabrina around. What she's saying to him: "Look at that tummy! Look at that tummy!" Like she's one to talk!



Now check out this video. Max was a little afraid of the sprinklers; Sabrina kept wetting her hands and running over to wet his face, getting him to enjoy the water.



Ultimately, I know her love for him runs strong and deep.


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