Tuesday, June 11, 2019

This is prom as he knows it, and it's all good

Max went to prom again this year, looking super handsome—straight out of the prom catolog!—and like the young man he is. What?! I delude myself into thinking that time will stand still with him. My baaaaaaaaby!

Max dressed casual-cool in a plaid button down, khakis and his beloved red Chucks. He headed out with his main squeeze, Daddy, chaperoned by Ben. Before he left, he grudgingly allowed me to take photos. As happened last year, my heart twinged when I looked at him through the lens of my phone standing there, alone. But as is pretty much consistent with raising Max, all the feels were mine—he had no qualms whatsoever about heading to prom by himself. He knew he'd hang with his buddies, eat tasty food, dance like a maniac and generally have a blast.

Max doesn't know that at so-called typical proms people often take dates, although to be sure it's not unusual for friends to go together. He doesn't care that his dad walked him in or that he mostly boogied with his teachers.

We moms sometimes project our own sense of how things "should" be onto our children—they "should" have more of a social life,  they "should" be excited about the event or trip, they "should" enjoy the theme park, yada yada. We angst and ache over the childhood and adolescent joys we feel they are missing out on, but in the end, our kids don't realize and/or care...and the truth is we shouldn't, either. Are you listening, heart?

Max came home with a gigantic grin on is face. He rocked prom. He rocks life. And once again, I sit here reminding myself that our children are living their best lives, not ours.


  1. What a beautiful lesson - one that I have to learn over and over again. And it applies to our AB daughter as well! (Like you, it's my heart that needs talking to)

  2. Thank you for this beautiful reminder today.

  3. I, too, need this lesson. My son is such a happy fellow who is full of fun and enjoys every minute of life, even if it doesn’t look like a typical life as we know it. Oh, there’s still lots for me to work on too!

  4. A very important read for me today. My son is graduating 8th grade today and I’ve been through all the feelings about how he isn’t having the same experience as all the NT kids. He’s having HIS experience- I’ll say this on a continuous loop all day. Thanks!

  5. I have been following your blog for some time and over the past couple of months, Max has started looking SO grown up--glad he had a great time!

  6. Perfect timing for this reminder, thank you Ellen! And WOW! Max is so grown up and handsome. So glad he had a blast at prom!

  7. “He rocks life.” As parents, that’s pretty much what we all want for our kids (and if we’re lucky, for ourselves). Thanks for this wonderful reminder.


Thanks for sharing!

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