Monday, September 8, 2014

Actually true firefighter tales

Once upon a time there was a boy named Fireman Max. He would not respond to "Max," only "Fireman Max." He often liked to talk about his future life as a firefighter. One night, his mother wanted him to brush his teeth and even when she said "But firemen brush their teeth!" and fed him total lies such as "You can't be a firefighter if you don't have clean teeth!" he didn't care. So she hauled him into the bathroom and helped him brush his teeth. Moral of the story: You can lie to your kids but sometimes you have to use brute force.

Once upon a time there was a boy named Fireman Max who liked to endlessly watch YouTube videos of fire trucks in action. One day he and his mom were driving in their minivan on the highway and Fireman Max was blasting a YouTube video of a fire engine. They were in traffic because there appeared to be an accident up ahead. Suddenly Fireman Max started saying "Fire truck! Fire truck!" His mom didn't pay much attention because Max often liked to say such things. But then, she looked in the rearview mirror and there was a fire truck right behind her trying to get by! And she hadn't realized there was an actual siren because the YouTube fire engine was blasting its siren! Moral of the story: Do not let your children develop an iPad addiction. 

Once upon a time, a boy named Fireman Max would screech in delight whenever he was traveling in his family's car and they passed a fire station. Usually, his parents were in too much of a rush to get wherever they were going to stop by, but once in awhile they would and Fireman Max would spend fifteen or twenty minutes exploring the new firehouse. When they left, he had a big smile on his face. Moral of the story: Take time to stop at firehouses.

Once upon a time, a boy named Fireman Max arrived at the local fire station. He did not see his favorite ladder truck, Number 31, parked outside and he dissolved into tears, thinking it was gone. "Don't cry, sweetie!" said his mother. "We'll find it!" So then they walked into the fire station and were told the fire engine was out for the week for repair. Moral of the story: Don't cry over fire trucks in the shop.

Once upon a time, a boy named Fireman Max was sitting upstairs in the local fire station, hanging out at the dining room table with five firefighters. They were talking about fires, mac 'n cheese and life in general. Fireman Max asked if they lived in the fire station and they said no, they had houses. Firefighter Max said he wanted to marry a firefighter when he grew up. "So you want to marry a lady firefighter?" one of them said. "No!" said Max, laying a hand on the fireman seated next to him and gazing at him adoringly. "Whatever makes you happy, Max!" his mom said. Awkward laughter ensued. Moral of the story: Avoid talk about politics, religion and marriage when visiting fire stations.

Once upon a time, a boy named Fireman Max decided he was going to have a firefighter themed birthday party. Even though it was months away he talked about it every 10 minutes, making sure that his family knew he needed to have firefighter cups, firefighter plates, a firefighter tablecloth and a fire truck pinata, plus a firefighter birthday cake complete with a photo of his favorite ladder truck. Moral of the story: Help. Me.

Once upon a time a boy named Fireman Max liked to beg his parents, every weekend, to take him once, twice, three times to the local fire station! His parents finally put their feet down and said just once a weekend. One day, Fireman Max brought his favorite toy fire truck to the fire station and then he left it there, in the radio control booth. This is because he realized that he would then have an excuse to regularly visit. The firefighters put a tag on it that read, "This truck belongs to little Max." Moral of the story: If you are really cute, you can get away with being conniving. 


  1. OOOOH! This could be written about our life, too. I'm going to add one in. Once upon a time there was a little boy who hated grocery shopping and a mommy who just needed healthy food for dinner. So the mommy loaded up the little boy, his fire hat, and her sanity into her minivan and they went to Wegmans. The little boy started whining in the bread isle. The little boy would NOT stay in the car-shaped addition to the shopping cart, so the mommy started making threats. "A GOOD FIREFIGHTER DOESN'T WHINE! A GOOD FIREFIGHTER DOESN'T ABANDON HIS TRUCK." The little boy gets madder and throws his hat. Mommy picks up the hat, starts the "WEEOOOOWEEEOOO" firetruck noise, and puts on the hat. "I WANT MY HAT BACK," the little boy complains. Mommy returns the hat and continues shopping, whining at a minimum. Moral of the story: Mommies wear lots of hats, but don't start making weeeee-oooo noises unless you are prepared to make them for the rest of your grocery run.

    Remember, it could be worse. My youngest is obsessed with the trash truck.

  2. I'm a stranger on the internet, but your stories of Max brighten my day. Yes, that Max is delightful. I'm loving the smiling face (and, in this picture, eyes) and laughter.


  3. I am a full-fledged band geek because I march and joined a non-school band via audition. The term "band geek" can have negative connotations, but to me, it means that you're passionate about band. To me, there's no better feeling than the vibrations I feel under my fingertips when I play. If you have ever been obsessed over anything to any extent, you probably know where I'm coming from.

  4. Aww!! Thanks for brightening my day...I needed this. I love the last fable especially, where the firemen put the note on the truck for Fireman Max. *melts*

    I'm curious -- is he still into Cars 2 also, or has Cars 2 been phased out? :-)


Thanks for sharing!

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