Thursday, May 11, 2017

All we want for Mother's Day is SLEEP

Chocolate, flowers, handmade cards, spa gift cards, cuddles, bullion: They're all welcome on Mother's Day. Based on my unofficial survey, many of us would also appreciate a day without chores, planning, meal prep or whining; a foot rub; a cleaned-out minivan; actually sitting down; and impeachment (sorry, can't help you there).

But there's one thing moms want more than anything else, and that is: sleep. Here are some handy hints to share with loved ones so we can all enjoy the gift we want most on Mother's Day.

Just how badly do we need sleep?

Many of us haven't had a good night's sleep in [insert oldest child's age] years. We survive by coffee, concealer and cat videos alone. Some of us don't mind stomach bugs or colds if it means we get to stay in bed. Some of us don't even mind emergency gallbladder surgery, since it's a valid excuse to catch some shuteye.

And so, on Mother's Day, we'd like to sleep in. 

Although at this point we can barely sleep past 8:05 a.m. because we've forgotten how, we would still like the possibility of extended, uninterrupted sleep.

What is this "uninterrupted sleep" you speak of? 

It means that as we are lying in bed actually asleep, we are not suddenly awakened by screeching; loud noises that sound as if something or someone have broken; or anyone standing by our bed, poking our ribs and asking "Mommmmmy, where are the scissors?"

Even if we've lost the talent for sleeping late...

...we will settle for lying in bed awake and not actually having to get up.

A word about breakfast in bed

If you make us Nutella pancakes but leave the kitchen a mess, that cancels out breakfast in bed.

A nap would be lovely, too.

Some people daydream. Mothers nap-dream: throughout the day, we think longingly of naps and how we'd pay good money for one. When we see an inviting horizontal surface—the floor of the playroom where our tots are scampering around, the bed on display in the department store, the carpet beneath our desks at work—we think, "Maybe we can lie down for just a few minutes!" And then, we just keep going. So yes, please: A NAP.

You know what's even better than a nap?

Napping in an empty house. We love you, family, but if you'd just abandon us for a few hours on Mother's Day afternoon, we'd be so excited.

That is all. Yawn.



Also check out:

I am the person who notices we are running out of toilet paper, and I rock: A Mother's Day tribute to hard-working moms everywhere

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for sharing!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...