Monday, January 14, 2013

What do you most remember about your wedding?

Dave and I recently went to an event that had a photo booth. It's rare to get shots of the two of us; mostly I'm taking photos of the kids, so I'll be saving these for posterity. I think our lives would be entirely changed if we walked around in humongous rose-colored glasses.

Today's our twelfth wedding anniversary. We are celebrating by doing overdue loads of laundry in the morning (me), going to work (us) and taking Sabrina to her annual physical (Dave) because we are romantic that way. Hopefully, we'll have a nice dinner tonight over wine after the kids go to sleep.

I think about our wedding often, particularly because we have wedding photos scattered around the house. The DVD and album are in a cabinet in the living room, and the kids think they’re a laugh riot. Sabrina can’t understand why we had such a fun wedding and she didn’t get to go.

Our wedding actually was a whole lot of fun. One relative likes to remind us about how, when Dave said "I do" the rabbi asked, "Is that your final answer?" Dave and I danced for hours. One of my favorite parts was when friends raised each of us up on a chair and Dave and I held hands, bouncing around in the air and seeing all the people we loved around us.

I keep my dried wedding bouquet, once chocolate-brown roses, above our bed 

This toiletries case, from our honeymoon in Bali, comes with me whenever I travel. It’s getting a little worn but I love it because it reminds me of that happy time.

Were we happier back then?

It's too easy to get sucked into melancholy. Like many parents, I occasionally long for my pre-kid life, when we were more carefree and not beholden to schedules and appointments. (Although I'd like the pre-kid life with the KIDS in it—hey, it's my fantasy!)

Yes, Dave and I have definitely experienced "for worse" in ways we could have never imagined when we said our vows. Those two weeks in the NICU were a hell all their own. We have more to-dos and responsibilities, and more serious ones, than other parents we know. But we have helped and supported each other in ways we couldn't have imagined, either.

There has been much "for better" in our lives. We don't just love the kids, we get bliss highs from them. We still enjoy each other's company and laugh a lot. Dave still calls me by the silly-sweet nickname he came up with soon after we met. We still do things together we like—catching movies, downing sushi, hanging in bookstores, roaming around aimlessly in the car and looking at houses, traveling (even if it involves Mickey Mouse). We still share dreams about the future.

Dave is still the guy I married, just as warm, easygoing, funny and wise. And I love him as much as I did back then, perhaps even more so because I found a whole new side of him to love after Max was born.

Happy anniversary, love.

What do you most remember from your wedding? What stuff around the house reminds you of it?


  1. what a lovely post!
    We had a very small wedding - we got married on a Monday in May and the weather was wild - almost tornado-like. But after that was over, we saw a rainbow over the Chesepeake Bay.
    I have a wedding photo on my dresser and I look at it every day. I sometimes also long for those "pre-kid easy" days. But I think I appreciate and love my husband even more now because I see what a wonderful father he is and how dedicated he is to our children and to our family.

  2. We celebrated our sixth anniversary in August. It took a year or two to get past thinking about the negative aspects of it (long story short -- my adoptive mom went full out psycho on me twenty minutes before I was to walk down the aisle) -- and remember only the high I was on (almost literally because I was doped up on cold medicine). It was definitely one of the happiest days of my life. Our wedding was simple, but so are we. For our honeymoon, we stayed in a tree house cottage and toured caverns. We have photos scattered around the house and a big one hanging in our room, and I too have dried flowers from my wedding (my bouquet was fake).

    I do long for some of the pre-kid days, such as the bodies we had, but I cannot imagine life without our kids. We have had one "by ourselves" anniversary dinner since our oldest, who was born six weeks before our second anniversary, was born. We like time to ourselves but would rather celebrate our special day with the two products of our marriage. ;) In fact, ever since our oldest was born, all our anniversary photos I take include the kids in them. We too rarely have photos of just us; we don't mind too much.

  3. Happy Anniversary, Ellen & Dave! You were such a beautiful bride!! I hope you get to enjoy your night. I'm going to start planning your baby shower right now. ;-)

  4. Happy Anniversary! I'm also a January bride and I love having something to celebrate in the midst of winter.

  5. We have been 15 years. Our wedding was nice.Keith wrote me a poem and readit in front of the church. We forgot our wedding knife and had to use a plastic one. One of my brides maid was late. Keith's car was covered with stuff from balloon,silly string,and even a shovel!! They took it out of the car. It was fun and we were still cleaning the car out years later.And every year I get a poem!!

  6. Congratulations!

    We are staring down the barrel of our 23rd anniversary. Our wedding was amazing - just 13 people, including the priest that married us, our best man/matron of honor, and immediate family, followed by a reception for 120 the next day, which I highly recommend. I remember the big hair - it was the end of The Eighties - and I remember feeling so carefree.

    Our days now are less so, with a young adult son learning to be independent, and two special needs teens, but we remember to say "I love you," every day, even the sucky ones.

  7. I saved the unity candle that was made with our invitation attached to the candle. Kevin and I originally wanted to do communion but with that gift we ended up doing the candle. I also saved one of the flower baskets *we had small flower baskets on each table at the reception. everyone was told they could take a basket of flowers home* and that is inside the china cabinet.

    About the reception I remember the food most. We had a phenomenal caterer who did so much for us that I think he deserved waaaaay more than he was paid. We did leave him an almost $300 tip. Which didn't include the tips from the tip jars from the open bar.

    The actual wedding at the church I remember that as I was walking down the aisle all I wanted to do was laugh. I literally had to hold my breath so much to keep from laughing. I'm a nervous laugher. I get nervous...I can't control my laughing. So glad I didn't start laughing because had I started laughing it's likely I'd still be laughing.

  8. I remember that the fire truck that was supposed to bring me to the wedding caught on fire (I swear!) then the muster truck ran out of gas on the way to the reception. It was a day full of laughter for sure :)

  9. Happy Anniversary!! I still remember your amazing wedding so clearly - it was beautiful in every way, including the weather.

    Wishing you many more years of health and happiness together.

  10. Happy A!

    We still have a piece of wedding cake in the freezer and it will be 20 this year for us!

  11. I didn't want a big wedding, I wanted a destination wedding with just family and my husband was in support, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't pull the destination trigger. I wanted my Grandparents there and I knew they may not be able to travel for a destination event. So, we had the 200 person wedding and I struggled with that kind of attention. However, 3 months later my maternal Grandfather passed away. He danced the night away at the wedding - it was the last time I saw him. 8 months after the wedding my paternal grandmother had her first of several strokes. She never left the nursing home again. The wedding was my last images of seeing both of them happy. Well worth it to not have the destination wedding of my dreams. I have beautiful pictures of each of them that night that I cherish.

  12. Love this post. Wonderful way to remember your special day and all that you have been through. Our wedding was small. "Intimate," I like to say. It was my 2nd marriage and my daughter stuck her fingers in the cake before we had a chance to cut it. I spent a ton of money on the first wedding and it lasted less than three years. The man I'm married to now--the one I should have been married to all along--well, our wedding cost less than $200, but we have loved each other through the hills and valleys of life. This April, we'll celebrate our 31st anniversary. (Which is an accomplishment when a special needs child is part of your world.) Congratulations to you. I hope you enjoy many, many more.

  13. Happy Anniversary you guys you seem so happy even after all this time when i get married I hope to be as happy as you guys are. My parents didn't fall in love their marriage was arranged I suppose they do love each other it's just a different kind of love, a love based on the love they have for their children and the life they've created together

  14. Beautiful post, Ellen. Happy Anniversary to you and Dave :)

  15. Happy Anniversary! 12 years! wow! Hubby and I are on our 11th year this 2013. We had a big wedding with lots of guests! My husband and I went through all the wedding preparation ourselves, no wedding coordinator, we were hands on. We had so many fights about which flowers to choose, which caterer to use etc... It was like practicing for married life already! haha... but it was fun, and it was bonding moment for hubby and me.

    Congratulations guys, happy anniversary again!


  16. Happy anniversary! My wedding was ages ago! 1984!! I felt like I was having an out of body experience, just floating down the aisle to the man I was madly in love with! We are still married even with all our ups and downs. He's still my love and best friend!

  17. Belated thanks for the anniversary wishes, everyone! It was a good one. I so loved hearing your stories, I could read/talk about wedding stuff for hours on end—and how people met, too.

  18. Happy belated anniversary! The 14th is also my parent's anniversary, this year was their 40th! I hope you and Dave also reach 40 and beyond! - Jen

  19. What a great post, Happy belated Anniversary!

    I never had a wedding although we did renew our vows on our 16th anniversary and had a small ceremony and reception. Alot smaller than I had originally planned and at my home but it was beautiful. What I remember most was my husbands nervouse yet amazing smile, he was nervous even after five kids and sixteen years. And we included our children in a unity candle lighting ceremony, that was beautiful!


Thanks for sharing!

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