Thursday, April 12, 2018

My mom hoarded cookies in her closet, and I turned out OK

I saw my friend Stephanie in our office building recently, and as we compared notes about raising teens I griped about Sabrina stealing my beauty products. I don't wear much makeup but I have a thing for skin products, including luxe shower scrubs and this overpriced little pot of glow cream that makes me look like I'm 23 again, or something like that. Sabrina regularly digs into both of them. I finally hid the glow cream from her and stored the scrub out of sight, then felt a little guilty about that.

"Don't!" said Stephanie. "She has more collagen than you!" 

Wise words. 

As moms, there's this expectation that we will gladly give all of ourselves and our earthly possessions over to our children. That included the small piece of salmon I was about to dig into last night for a really late dinner. "Can I have it? I'm hungry!" Sabrina begged. I gave her most of it. Can she have the necklace/makeup bag/scented candle/skin cleansing brush/clutch/Montblanc pen I got as a gift, she wants to know. Happily, she could care less about most of my clothes or shoes. (Actually, maybe that's a bad sign, but I'll take it.)

I inherited the tendency to stash stuff away from my mom. She used to hide packages of cookies and bags of mini chocolate bars in the closet in her bedroom, where my sister and I regularly raided them. (I  haven't yet resorted to socking away Oreos in my room, but I'm not beyond it.) Otherwise, my mom was a completely selfless person, ready to give Judy and me basically anything she owned, along with all of her time.

Like many parents, I am pretty selfless by necessity—I don't have much time to hang with friends, go to shows, bike or do other activities I love because I'm busy driving my children places, feeding them, bathing them, shopping for them, helping them with homework, or doing any of the kajillion things that go into raising kids and managing a household. Yada yada you know.

As parents of children with disabilities, there are times when we need to be extra selfless. And so you sit with a child having a sensory meltdown in the lobby of the restaurant, as your extended family relaxes inside and eats. Or you give up Saturday morning workouts so you can drive your child to speech therapy. The sacrifices—financial, physical, mental—are many. Yada yada, you know.

I'm not doing my children any favors by regularly putting their needs ahead of mine. Kids and teens should see parents taking time for themselves, and having their own nice things. It teaches our children that the world does not actually revolve around them, and that it's important to have a sense of self.

Me, I like my creature comforts. So when Sabrina asks if she can have some object of mine, I'll respond, "No, but you can borrow it." (That or I'll find a good hiding spot.) And while I suck at daily me time, I've got bigger plans. Last summer, I went away for a long weekend with my two best friends to celebrate our birthdays. Nowhere fancy, just fun. Last week, we decided to go on another nonfancy-but-fun getaway. You can bet I'll be bringing my little pot of glow cream along...and hiding it when I get home.

Image: Flickr/Mike Mozart 


  1. I need the name of the glow cream that makes you look 23, please. Running to Sephora now.....:)

    1. I will share some with you! It's called Rapids Probiotic Champagne Illuminator by H20+


Thanks for sharing!

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