Monday, April 13, 2015

Welcome to my complain-a-thon—join in!

My boss, who reads this blog, stopped by my office the other day. "You never complain!" she marveled. I objected—I do complain. For a second there, I was tempted to have my husband call her as proof (he is the main recipient of my gripes), but then I didn't think that would do anything to further my career.

I've often said that if I would have started Love That Max when Max was a baby, this would have been a pretty bleak blog, but he's in a good place now and so am I. Upon further consideration, though, I think it would be quite cathartic to air a list of prime grievances and Monday morning seems like a fine time to do this. So, here goes:

Husband: After all these years, I still do not understand why if I ask you to do something or buy something, I get an email from you shortly thereafter asking you to remind me what I said. Also: Why is it you never notice that the kitchen garbage is overflowing? How come you put milk cartons in the fridge with approximately 1/16th of an inch of milk left in them? Also: There is no clothing fairy in our house who picks up the stuff you leave lying on the floor. It's me.

Children: Would it be so hard to let us sleep past 6:30 a.m. and entertain yourselves? We are really not fun at 6:30 a.m. And would it be so hard to put dirty stuff in the dishwasher? Also: See "clothing fairy" above and the hampers in your rooms. Also: How is it possible that you not learned by now that whining gets you nowhere? Word.

Family: Why does getting out of the house on weekday mornings bring new chaos every single time, like we have never done this before? 

Cerebral palsy: You sure haven't gotten the best of Max but I can't stand it when you make his left foot turn in and it causes him to stumble. The walking is hard won. Do not mess him up.

Insurance company: Given that it is your job to process claims, how do you regularly lose the ones I submit for Max's therapies? Where do they go? 

Max's bus driver: It does not bode well for your common sense that you drove his bus into a big rock at the end of our block, despite being told not to U-turn there because—wait for it—there is a big rock there. Max's bus company: Being told the bus driver "means well" is not very reassuring.

House: Why must everything that needs fixing cost a minimum of $1000? 

Schools: Could you not schedule big-deal student events during the workday? Some parents have jobs.

Paperwork: Just, endless. Why can't schools and camps digitize at least some information so that parents are not filling out the same forms every single year? 

Metabolism: There is a special place in hell for metabolisms like you.

Doctors' offices: It is awful to make parents and kids wait more than a half hour. Also: You need to replace the prehistoric waiting rooms toys. Some news station would have a gleeful time doing germ testing on them.

Max's therapists: No complaints here, only gratitude...well, other than this occurrence at the IEP, but she seems to be coming around.

Work: Er, see "My boss reads this blog."

Special needs equipment suppliers: True story! I used to get Max a hand splint from the Benik company to help keep his left hand more open, since he tends to want to tighten it up. This year, we had a school therapist measure his left hand, and then she had an orthotics company order them from Benik. Cost I've paid for one splint: about $50. Cost orthotics company charged for one splint: $300. Also see: adaptive feeding spoons that run $30 and adaptive toys for $399. 

Solicitors who call our home despite the fact that we are on the Do Not Call registry: This is annoying and illegal. I hope you enjoy your conversation with Max.

Chin: Would you kindly stop sprouting random hairs?

Mommy: You are elderly and dealing with a lot. How is it you do not complain? I guess I inherited my stoicism from you. I wish you would complain just a little bit. You deserve to. Hmm, I guess I do too. I could get used to this!

Boss lady: I hope this is sufficient proof of my non-sainthood.

Everyone: What complaints do you have today?

Image source: Flicker/_6ft5


  1. you made my Monday - so good. sharing this on my FB wall now. Love the hairs on the chin comment.

  2. How is it that whenever my professors want to have discussions in class, I'm pretty much the only one who participates? Also, all of my professors scheduled their midterms for next week! How am I supposed to study everything when I have classes and I also work 12 hours a week? I really hope that none of the children at my internship fight this week or refuse to do what I say because that's obnoxious! That's all!

  3. Math Teacher: Stop giving me so much homework! I'm drowning in it and you show no respect for students' schedules by doing so!

    Parents: Yes, I can do this! Now stop pestering me.

    Loose Screw in Flute: Will you be so kind as to not come loose during a concert?

    Section Leader: We've haven't had sectionals in forever! Figure something out already.

    Biology Teacher: Not another teacher joke...Please...

    Computer: Don't get more viruses. Never. Ever.

    Hair: For the last time, stop tangling!

  4. You made me laugh! I will add:

    I am waiting for one meal (just one!) besides hot dogs, pizza, or mac & cheese, that is not accompanied by negative comments (someone doesn't like mashed potatoes; someone doesn't like chicken, and so on...).

    Doctor's offices: please do not make your patients wait for an hour in an exam room. Especially your patients who have anxiety issues when it comes to visiting doctors.

    And - why must my son on the autism spectrum, who struggles with creative and/or independent play, ONLY choose to immerse himself in play about 7 minutes before we have to be out the door for school?

  5. Fun post! I'm a little surprised that after emphasizing that people should engage Max in conversation that you cast it in a negative light? ("I hope you enjoy your conversation with Max.") After reading your blog for so long, it did make me smile, but then feel bad about it.

    1. Hmmm, I guess it's only negative if you read it that way. Max gets a kick out of talking with people on the phone, telemarketers included. Sabrina doesn't.

    2. Ahhhh, OK, thanks. Probably misunderstood. It was an honest question - just still working to figure out the boundaries; thanks.

  6. Family: Why are you jealous of the attention we receive for having two kids with special needs.. I would trade it any day of the week.

    State Medical Assistance: Please hire people that can process paperwork because incorrectly processed paperwork gums up with whole system.

    Able-bodied drivers: Please respect the spot reserved for people with disabilities. They are not otherwise referred to as a drop-off lane.

    1. Whoa on that first one! That, we haven't dealt with. Paperwork issues seem to be rampant in all so-called systems. And OH YES WITH people doing drop-offs in those spots, I see that all the time.

  7. LOLed at the one about the bus driver hitting the rock. I could rant all day about buses, particularly Able Ride paratransit.....

  8. This is a great post for today considering the CSE people scheduled my triennual meeting a year before I am due and the testing which is supposed to be done in Fall 2015 has already been half done. I do not understand this and am glad I still have my mom around to advocate for me even though I can self advocate pretty well.
    And the bus... My sister's VOTEC bus hit a police car last week. But how do you hit a rock! Were there kids on the bus?

  9. LOL. Mean people of the world: Would it kill you to be kind?

  10. Family member, stop making a huge deal about my son not keeping his pants on. We get that you notice it, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. You're an adult, leave him alone.

  11. Oh. And when you make a big deal about how your child did (insert milestone here) already and they're half my sons age, it makes not only us feel bad but you're picking on A CHILD.

  12. Can't wait to get in on this!!!

    Work: My boss doesn't read this blog, so here goes. I am grateful to have a very flexible schedule, but could you PLEASE stop making comments about how often I have to be out of the office with my special needs child? I FREAKING KNOW I'm not there! I work harder and longer at home to make up for not having face time. Cut a mama some slack!!

    Nationally ranked children's hospital in my town: You charge 3x as much for EVERYTHING. I just found out my child's special gloves, which cost $2200 per two pair at the children's hospital, only cost $740/two pair through a different company AND that different company is still marking them up. Like we don't have enough expenses already, children's hospital!

    Son: Quit scaring your blind sister already! It's just mean to scare the blind kid--she can't see you hiding there, no matter how much of you is sticking out.

    Husband: Mine does the same things as yours. Apparently those things are carried on the Y chromosome.

    That's all for now. Thanks so much for the vent-fest.

  13. Guy in my class who made fun of me for "being hard of hearing at this age": It's the disability, stupid!

    Same guy: You haven't walked in my shoes so don't say "omg your disability isn't even real, you don't have any disadvatnges whatsoever." Well, it feels pretty real to me.

    1. Anonymous, I hope you read this comment. I am a teenage girl with hearing loss and that what that guy said irks me so much. Grr... You are not alone I am here, even though we are a minority.

    2. I read it. :) Well, hearing loss is just one of the symptoms of my disability. However, the guy who said this is an idiot for many reasons so I don't let it bother me too much anyway.

    3. I know a lot about jerky guy. What is your disability if you don't mind me asking?

    4. It's called Moebius syndrome actually. It's some sort of facial paralysis and it's very rare and not very well known.


Thanks for sharing!

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