Thursday, April 3, 2014
How not to encourage your child with special needs to do chores
Do not offer your child money if money isn't a big deal to him.
Do not offer to buy him a new Lightning McQueen toy when he does chores, either, as you might quickly find yourself in debt.
Do not try to play off sibling rivalry by suggesting that if he does not put the spoons into the dishwasher his sister will get to do it, because he will see right through you.
Do not pretend that the Swiffer is a great dancing partner, because he will point to Daddy and indicate that he'd be a far better choice.
Do not try to coax him into cleaning by showing him how cool the Roomba is or when you ask him to put napkins on the dining room table he will suggest that the Roomba do it.
Do not leave the chores inspiration up to Daddy, because you will come home from the grocery store and find the two of them sitting on the couch in the basement playing bowling on the Wii and when you ask why no rooms got straightened up Daddy will say "Honey, it's the weekend!" and your child will chime in "YEAH!"
Do not allow your child to bring his little purple snow shovel into the house because when he attempts to pick up toys off the floor with it, tragic breakage will occur.
Do not try to make a game of tossing clothes into the hamper (excellent occupational therapy, you think!) because he will discover he can also toss in basically any portable object lying around, including various family member's toothbrushes that will not be discovered till days later and you will have had completely illogical thoughts that someone broke into your home and stole your toothbrushes. (But still: excellent occupational therapy!)
Do not expect him to readily make his bed because he will take you to your room and point out that your bed isn't made up, at which point you will smile sheepishly and be at a loss for words.
Finally purchase a shiny new Dustbuster to replace your antique mini vac and discover that your child thinks it's a laugh riot. And that he has the uncanny ability to notice the most minute specks of dirt. And that you may need to hide said Dustbuster if you ever want him to get his homework done or sleep again.