Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Group therapy, continued: Who has your husband blamed for what happened to your child?
One thing struck me about yesterday's post on whether you've blamed yourself for what happened to your child, besides the outpouring of raw emotion: None of us spoke about blaming our doctors.
Candace blamed herself for not insisting she be moved to a hospital with an NICU. Jenn regretted choosing a VBAC. Chrissi spoke of doctors blaming her for not taking adequate folic acid, though it wasn't true. I got so mad when I read that.
I've never gone down that path of blaming the doctor. Dave has. The only time I have ever seen real anger coming from my husband—the most sweet, good-natured guy I know—is when he talks about Max's delivery and the hell that ensued after our seemingly perfect little baby started having seizures.
Moms have a special physical and emotional connection to the babies we carried; maybe that's why we feel responsible when something goes wrong during the delivery or afterward. But it's also such a woman thing to shoulder the guilt, isn't it?
Who have your husbands blamed, if anyone, for what happened to your child?
Photo by yador