Friday, May 23, 2014

Special needs blogger weekend link-up: Proof that our words matter edition


WAIT A SEC! BEFORE YOU LINK, READ THIS!

Before we get to the Special Needs Blogger Weekend Link-up, I wanted to share an email I got yesterday. We all put a lot into our blogs, in the hopes of spreading awareness about our kids (and doing the occasional vent-a-thon, of course). I'm so proud of the impact our special needs blogging community is having.

I came across your blog some time ago while reading an article in SFGate.com, I think. It has been some years. Just wanted to drop you a note to say that yesterday my husband and I were at a restaurant (Outback Steakhouse) and there was a family that came in with a teenage girl.

Nothing really caught my attention about her with the exception that she did have some tightness in her arms but no biggie. I am a nurse and so I am used to pretty much everything not really drawing my attention. They sat across from us, parents of the girl and another couple with them. Across the restaurant another family was with their very young baby who had been crying and fussy the whole time. It is a family restaurant so of course no big deal. The young teenage girl began to get visibly distraught and starting to scream "NO!" at the top of her lungs and "stop crying" about the baby. The parents immediately got up, took her outside and were speaking with her. She was seen putting on her headphones and walking back in to the table. 

This is where it gets interesting. The other table's father, with the baby in his arms, comes up and confronts the parents. He stated that he was about to take the baby outside "THANK YOU VERY MUCH! People like you make it hard to bring babies to any place!!!" Then proceeded to storm off. To their credit the other parents of the teenager said nothing and sat down. They looked defeated. I felt really bad for them and I vowed to buy them a dessert and leave them a note. 

The server of the restaurant is really the hero here. She witnessed the whole scene from afar and was gone for a few minutes then emerged with her manager. She spoke with the table briefly with the teenage daughter for a time and they seemed genuinely  happy with that conversation. Then they went over to the other table and spoke with them for a time. 

Here is the kicker! That table was asked to leave!!!! For confronting other guests in the restaurant and causing a disturbance and making another table feel threatened. (Apparently, the table next to crying baby had kids and felt unsafe; so they took their food home and paid instead of staying and eating! And they told the manager it was the baby's father's fault, not the teenage girl's!) 

The baby's family made a huge fuss of course, but when they left a few tables clapped!!! 

That server was also our server and I asked her what happened and she said her brother is autistic  with CP and has sensory issues and she reads your blog!!! I said I do, too! Wow! She said that she was very incensed that the other table had the gall to confront anyone about a child and obviously, he would not like anyone to confront him. 

The manager bought the teenage family's meal and also bought us a dessert. The grandmother of the baby said that kids like the teenage girl shouldn't be allowed to eat out!! The manager said the same could be said of crying babies. hahah!   

SO thanks to you and Max for making us more aware of issues that children face. 

And now, the link-up. You know what to do:

Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post. Where it says "Your name" put the name of the blog followed by the title of the post (or just the name of the post, if there's no room—you get 80 characters).

Like this: Love That Max: I rocked my school concert, watch out, Springsteen

Where it says "Your URL" put the direct link to the post.

Click "Enter." Leave a comment if you want to say more. Go check out some great posts.

Happy linking!

25 comments:

  1. Courtney, from the blog "Blessed by Brenna" wrote a guest post for me (at "Not Just Anyone") this past week in honor of Harlequin Ichthyosis Awareness Month!

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  2. This month we celebrate Ehlers-Danlos Awareness Month, rare connective tissue disorder. Many doctors have never heard of it, especially those in pediatrics, because it is more symptomatic in adults. Caden ( www.causecadencan.blogspot.com ) is one of the youngest doctors have ever seen with such severe symptoms.

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  3. It's amazing to me just how ignorant and self-centered people can be. That obnoxious family with the crying baby has just begun their journey into parenthood. What makes them think that they won't be confronted with issues throughout their lives, and especially as that grandparent ages, in which they are going to need the compassion of strangers?

    Kudos to the manager, the waitress and the other diners in that restaurant for standing up o the right side of this issue.

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    1. Elsie....
      "That obnoxious family with the crying baby has just begun their journey into parenthood. What makes them think that they won't be confronted with issues throughout their lives, and especially as that grandparent ages, in which they are going to need the compassion of strangers?" Valid point!! ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn


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    2. ELISE....
      Did I misspell your name?! Whoops!! ;-}
      Love you later, Raelyn

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  4. I absolutely LOVED that story -- not that the parents of the baby were that self-centered obviously but everyone else's reactions! Thank you so much for sharing it! Hugs to you, Max and the rest of the families out there!

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  5. Great story Ellen. I linked to a post i wrote in response to your post.

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  6. Wow, that email is so heartwarming, and encouraging to all special needs bloggers, thanks for sharing it :)

    The post I've included I wrote last Sunday when I was feeling sad for a friend....and it's turned out to be the most popular things I've ever written! (excluding bot views)

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  7. Look up "clueless" in the dictionary and you'll find a family photo of the baby's dad and grandma. They had the nerve to confront the teenager's family when it was THEIR baby crying? Idiots. But kudos to the restaurant and its supportive patrons!

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  8. What a story! The teenager's family obviously has a lot of experience in dealing with pricks, because they handled the situation so well. Actually, everyone involved (except the baby's family) handled it well, so kudos to all of them. It makes me feel better about humanity.

    The post I linked to is "That's One Small Step for Thomas", and it's all about my sensory kiddo coming out of his shell (and how).

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  9. That family of the crying baby has a lot of nerve. I know what they're thinking........my child will be perfect and so what if he's crying a little bit now? At least he isn't like that awful teenage girl! Well, guess what? No one knows what the future holds for their child whether they are born with a disability or not. That was one of the rudest situations I've ever read about and I'm impressed with the grace the server and manager handled the situation. I would also give kudos to the teenager's parents too.....they immediately removed their daughter from the restaurant and got her comfort items so that they could all enjoy a meal together. That is a right that EVERYONE has, disability or not. And I'll be honest......I get annoyed when I have to sit near a screaming baby when all I'm trying to do is enjoy some time away from the stove! Clearly that family didn't learn a lesson, but some day life will give them another one!

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    1. Stephanie....
      "I know what they're thinking........my child will be perfect and so what if he's crying a little bit now? At least he isn't like that awful teenage girl! Well, guess what? No one knows what the future holds for their child whether they are born with a disability or not." Yep!! ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn


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    2. Because the next time you see someone with a disability (visible or not) exhibiting related behaviors, ask yourself "Am I and people as a whole as bad, if not worse?"

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  10. Gosh, wow. What an amazing message - I am so happy that our voices have meaning and that people are not only listening, but taking action. My post this week is very apropos to this topic. A couple of news stories this week in Canada had me feeling discouraged and under threat. But love wins every time. Thank you so much for all you do, Ellen. It makes a difference - a huge difference.

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  11. That is an amazing story - I love it. My post is about people's donations changing our children's lives x

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  12. I wish someone had stood up for us recently while riding on an LA bus. We had a man poking our son, sshhhing him and jiggling his wheelchair. His crime.........he has CP and gets excited riding the bus so was making delighted sounds. I agree not necessarily what everyone wants to hear but he was thrilled to be riding the bus. Fortunately we had a great experience to counter balance that one when we got to New York. Julie

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    1. Julie....
      "We had a man poking our son, sshhhing him and jiggling his wheelchair. His crime.........he has CP and gets excited riding the bus so was making delighted sounds. I agree not necessarily what everyone wants to hear but he was thrilled to be riding the bus." I am so very sorry about your experience with that mean man!! :-(
      Love you later, Raelyn


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  13. So there were two families, both were with children that were upset and vocal, both stressed out and worried about the things we all worry about when we have kids that don't do well in public places sometimes (autistic, infants etc.) and one family was asked to leave and another gifted with free food. Maybe everyone was just a little stressed out and could BOTH have used some kindness and understanding in a tense situation. It was a great chance to educate, not isolate-especially since both the girl's family and the server had experience with special needs and the other family must not have.

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  14. Why Can't we all just try to try to support and help each other? Or at the very least Politely tolerate and coexist with each other! The world would be a much more pleasant place if we would!

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  15. Cesar from Chivas USA reached out to me to help spread the word about this fun family event! I hope they get lots of response! - Rosie, Los Angeles Special Needs Kids Examiner

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  16. Ellen....
    "The manager bought the teenage family's meal and also bought us a dessert. The grandmother of the baby said that kids like the teenage girl shouldn't be allowed to eat out!! The manager said the same could be said of crying babies." That was smooth. Very smooth!! ;)

    Love you later, Raelyn

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  17. Feeling a little sapped of courage and strength these days (#43). Thank you for the link up!!

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  18. #48, #49 ... I wasn't expecting to make a followup post about institutionalization, but a day after the first one, I found the Star-Telegram article that provided a perfect counterpoint, and I wanted to share it.

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  19. Yay for Outback Steakhouse! Yay for people speaking up when they see intolerance! I love these blogger linkups where I can read so many amazing blogs.

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  20. Thanks so much for allowing me to share. I made a mistake and put my name instead of the title of the post. Can you delete it? It's #52. Thanks.

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Thanks for sharing!