tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post6349066609370175909..comments2024-03-28T03:35:52.176-04:00Comments on Love That Max : I'm not a great parent just because I have a kid with special needsEllen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-61011527719977854272016-06-05T23:07:09.098-04:002016-06-05T23:07:09.098-04:00greatgreatClaranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-10679341299809973542014-06-21T14:26:55.424-04:002014-06-21T14:26:55.424-04:00Yes. Yes and more yes.
I am a single mom who is...Yes. Yes and more yes. <br /><br />I am a single mom who is raising my daughter to the best of my abilities. She suffered a terrible traumatic brain injury 30 days before her first birthday. She lost structural parts of her brain surgically and the rest was damaged due to the injury itself. She has left sided weakness (hemiplegia), cognitive, emotional and the rest of the delays.<br /><br />I get livid when people say "God gives you blah blah blah". Um. My child was shaken and slammed- so you're saying that was your god's plan? Oh how do I do it? I do it just like any other parent does- some days I am awesome, some days I am barely hanging on. Not any different than any other parent out there.<br /><br />So - please do not patronize or pity me. I could pity you but I don't. <br /><br />I love this and shared it on FB and it's gone viral a bit. LOLRich Mom, Rich Dad. Poor Mom, Poor Dad.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12317569071247428560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-68621802978736432772014-03-06T22:35:18.745-05:002014-03-06T22:35:18.745-05:00Couldn't agree with you more!Couldn't agree with you more!<br />Sherry-Lynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-19672196690228959562014-01-12T11:32:14.956-05:002014-01-12T11:32:14.956-05:00Thank you for this post. We are all special and we...Thank you for this post. We are all special and we have our needs. And thank God loving your child dearly is a common and not a special thing.MissMoonypennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05792110824423296926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-66175113036323761842013-10-24T10:35:14.894-04:002013-10-24T10:35:14.894-04:00My parents would have their take on this too, I...My parents would have their take on this too, I'm sure! I have CP and my parents would always bristle when people would say that too. They always treated me like a normal kid and they were normal parents, there was really nothing special about it. We had unique circumstances, sure, but so does every family!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-43586379059145209032013-09-25T05:22:26.233-04:002013-09-25T05:22:26.233-04:00You are special parents! Not just because you have...You are special parents! Not just because you have a special needs child, but because you are doing it well. As a teachers aide, I have seen SOOOOOO many parents who are disengaged from their child's needs. They either refuse therapy or equipment because it takes too much money/time to learn how to use it. When we try to hook them up with programs to help, they don't need it. They can't be bothered to fill out the paperwork. Its too hard for them to follow through with the at-home therapy so they are ok with their kid backsliding physically/emotionally/mentally. Believe me, I'm right there with them as a caretaker, I know it takes all your emotional energy (as well as physical) to do it. But to do nothing is deplorable. So yes, you are amazing, awesome, excellent parents because you know how to give both your kids everything they need and still take care of you. (nobody blames you for the breaks now and then. we all need them, lol.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-45061943362635936032013-09-21T10:33:46.679-04:002013-09-21T10:33:46.679-04:00I will gladly accept kudos, but I hate the "G...I will gladly accept kudos, but I hate the "God only gives special kids to special parents." Yeah, all the special parents in the news lately who have tried killing their special kids. God must think so highly of them! wholarmorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02026209510800525568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-28543009439793520342013-09-21T10:31:54.268-04:002013-09-21T10:31:54.268-04:00Hi there, I hear where your coming from, and I gue...Hi there, I hear where your coming from, and I guess you need to vent... However why can't a person take a compliment? It's positive re-enforcement for a job well done. Why is your reaction a 'standard' thanks I'm just a parent statement? I love my son too, and whenever I get a brave and kind stranger who comes up to me and tells me I'm doing a great job, I smile and genuinely say thank you. I do this because kindness and generosity makes our world a better place. I don't have a kid with special needs, and I don't get pissed when people compliment him or me. Why not look on the bright side instead of putting a negative twist on well meaning people who want to share their praise and kindness. Kaidens Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07164785447451968446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-53775310024618238042013-09-20T14:43:55.310-04:002013-09-20T14:43:55.310-04:00I completely agree with the above "Anonymous&...I completely agree with the above "Anonymous" comment. As a grandmother of a special needs child, I fear saying anything that will offend my son and daughter in law. Well meaning always, and I adore my granddaughter, I feel sometimes it's hell if you do and hell if you don't...and Ellen, unfortunately you have fed into this feeling. Not everyone on the planet has been blessed with the perfect thing to say as there are no perfect people.PJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14278614937927105775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-73644721510318098402013-09-19T23:54:28.401-04:002013-09-19T23:54:28.401-04:00The reality is, many people faced with raising han...The reality is, many people faced with raising handicapped children opt out. I am not one of these parents. I chose to keep my son home with me and do the best I can with him. When people offer supportive comments, I don't disect them, I recognize they are coming from a place of support, and I thank them. Why would you ever alienate someone offering support to you? I don't understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-29701430629962993562013-09-19T23:31:01.540-04:002013-09-19T23:31:01.540-04:00Hi Ellen! As usual, you've hit the nail on th...Hi Ellen! As usual, you've hit the nail on the head. Our Georgia is now 10. And as one of two in the world with her condition, we have little to go on about her challenges and just make up the story as we go along. Good thing about that is no one can tell us we are wrong :)<br /><br />Our 'normal' child, Ethan, is 6. And earned an Autism Spectrum Diagnosis two years ago. So I have it in writing that both of my children are indeed SuperSpecial!<br /><br />When people tell me I'm amazing, I thank them kindly as my ego needs every bit of boosting I can get! And then I tell them it is not the hand of cards you are dealt in life. It is how you play them that matters. I try and live each and every day of our life by that. Most times it works. If not, I lock myself in the ensuite and eat chocolate. That has a 110% success rate of improving my mood :)<br /><br />Despite having two 'special' kids in tow, we aim to return to the USA in 2014 for more American travel adventures. We all survived, and loved our USA adventures in 2010 and 2012 so next year we will be 'due' our bi-annual trip. <br /><br />Michelle from Brisbane, Australia :)Mum2twopreciousgiftshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15007154408088837824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-59016694370267281892013-09-18T22:50:06.213-04:002013-09-18T22:50:06.213-04:00Love it!! And thanks for sharing the other comment...Love it!! And thanks for sharing the other commenter's blog post. It was great!ilyssanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-43147259680105973222013-09-18T22:23:00.469-04:002013-09-18T22:23:00.469-04:00Comments like this still go over Max's head, b...Comments like this still go over Max's head, but sometimes even when he's standing right there people still talk about him as if he's not. I usually just say something like "Max totally understands you!" and then I'll try to rope him into the conversation. It's hard. I appreciate it when people talk to Max, too. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-88570232927388902292013-09-18T22:18:40.428-04:002013-09-18T22:18:40.428-04:00A-MEN!!!!!A-MEN!!!!!Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-64216352319988096382013-09-18T22:18:29.075-04:002013-09-18T22:18:29.075-04:00Lynn, you're hired as my publicist! :)Lynn, you're hired as my publicist! :)Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-69295790162241581582013-09-18T22:16:29.798-04:002013-09-18T22:16:29.798-04:00Totally with you. Over the years, I've learned...Totally with you. Over the years, I've learned to use all sorts of situations as conversation starters about Max/special needs, including when he gets stares. But sometimes, I don't go there because I just want to be in the moment with my family, like at the pool that day.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-83445413424446610962013-09-18T22:14:17.692-04:002013-09-18T22:14:17.692-04:00Some days, I feel like I deserve more kudos for pa...Some days, I feel like I deserve more kudos for parenting Sabrina because she's one tough cookie!!! Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-14053143082012968782013-09-18T22:11:50.356-04:002013-09-18T22:11:50.356-04:00Thank you for that. I don't know if I merit &q...Thank you for that. I don't know if I merit "awesome" but I try my best, and that's all I can do. Although if by "awesome" you mean tracking down every known piece of Cars 2 merchandise on the planet for Max, then yeah, I am awesome. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-90036346374537824042013-09-18T22:05:35.872-04:002013-09-18T22:05:35.872-04:00This is an amazing post—really worth a read, peopl...This is an amazing post—really worth a read, people. Amanda, I particularly loved this line: "Next time you see someone who looks a bit different, redefine what 'normal' looks like to you. Cause let me tell you, Andy may be in a wheelchair, but he's more 'normal' than most people I'm ever going to meet in my life." I am going to Facebook right now and sharing this. So glad to connect with you, even if over something annoying!Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-13360879093377486202013-09-18T22:02:10.987-04:002013-09-18T22:02:10.987-04:00"Taking a little vacation behind my eyeballs&..."Taking a little vacation behind my eyeballs" is my new most favorite phrase of all time. I was reading an article today about Google Glass; seems like if you got your hands on a pair, you could go on a nonstop vacay behind your eyeballs. Thanks for your wisdom, as always. Sabrina was right there too so I did think this was directed at our caring for Max. That said, I will admit (um, actually it's pretty clear from this blog) that I do get sensitive to how people view Max and sometimes I need someone to slap me upside the head and say maybe it's not a special needs thang. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-30619501286621704552013-09-18T21:55:15.037-04:002013-09-18T21:55:15.037-04:00You should know, Jean, given that you are a master...You should know, Jean, given that you are a master nail-hitter-on-header. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-29848749635973786282013-09-18T21:54:05.299-04:002013-09-18T21:54:05.299-04:00Totally with you on packing in as much fun as poss...Totally with you on packing in as much fun as possible! Few things are better in life than seeing your kids having a great time. Tonight, Max was playing cops & robbers with some kids and his happy squeals made me laugh. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-20293276772312403032013-09-18T21:51:30.351-04:002013-09-18T21:51:30.351-04:00Nisha, I love your take on this. Very true.Nisha, I love your take on this. Very true.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-14742035324874776462013-09-18T20:04:50.814-04:002013-09-18T20:04:50.814-04:00I couldn't agree with you more. I like what L...I couldn't agree with you more. I like what Lynn wrote. I think you guys are pretty amazing too. While I do appreciate compliments and I know that people who say these things often mean well, I worry more about how my Emma processes these comments. What message is she getting from statements like this. Does she think, "Wow, I must be a lot of trouble for that lady to say that?" I know I would have at her age. She is nine. (She has CP and is very physically challenged, but very bright. She hears everything. I call her scoop.) I never want her to feel like she is a burden because of her challenges and that people think her dad and I deserve praise for being her parents. She is an amazing kid, and we love her. We are very proud of all of her accomplishments. Like all kids, she deserves the best we can give her. I wish that when people say these kinds of things they would add a compliment for Emma too or instead. I always love it when people to talk to her and say things like, "Wow, I like your cool shoes!" or "You are a pretty girl!" Anything really!Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11818818093248788832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-2970851327554127232013-09-18T19:40:57.272-04:002013-09-18T19:40:57.272-04:00I think good parents are ones that do their best s...I think good parents are ones that do their best support and love their kids regardless of their abilities. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com