tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post5165805512995191586..comments2024-03-17T12:02:12.410-04:00Comments on Love That Max : My child has special needs but please don't treat him specialEllen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-76055156005278423972015-01-31T15:33:27.566-05:002015-01-31T15:33:27.566-05:00My peers at my grade level rarely give me genuine ...My peers at my grade level rarely give me genuine help. They talk to me like a baby when explaining things even though I'm usually superior in intelligence to such people. My teachers and older students rarely or never do this as they see my real abilities. Annanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-84201485063492214562010-12-16T16:55:42.650-05:002010-12-16T16:55:42.650-05:00Hi Ellen,
I have the same problem sometimes. The...Hi Ellen,<br /><br />I have the same problem sometimes. There's a big misconception in this world about people in wheelchairs and people with disabilities, that they're all deaf, blind or dumb in some way. I get ones that say "How are Yooouuu little girl?" (I'm 26).<br />or, "She has a nice shirt" (like I can't hear). I can relate very well to that unfortunately.Janinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08740383468067706653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-58009442789171856322010-07-06T22:13:09.992-04:002010-07-06T22:13:09.992-04:00I guess I'm gonna side with Cristina on this o...I guess I'm gonna side with Cristina on this one. LOL<br />Maybe it's because I am so new to this "club" - my baby is still under two. But I can totally see myself asking one of those dumb questions or making a silly remark. Not something so bad as "Just pretend he's a baby" but sure, I'd ask if he fights with his sister or likes a certain toy. Maybe because these matters depend on the personality more than ability.<br /><br />I guess it also depends on who is asking. Whether it's a stranger who you will never see again, or another mother you see sometimes at the park, or a good friend. It makes a difference if the person will be socializing with the child or he's just curious.<br /><br />I know a family with a DS girl. She is one year older than my (undiagnosed) girl and whenever I see them I always ask lots of questions... what she likes, what she is able to do...<br /><br />On the total flip side of your post, I dislike when people overestimate my daughter. Saying things like "She is only a couple of months behind." Or not believing me that she will need to go to a specialized school. Or comparing her to their own typically developing children who all learned to talk late, telling me that I have nothing to worry about. The difference is that your kid DID have words- "buh" for ball, or bike, or bottle, or all three IS considered a word. My toddler doesn't even understand that objects have names! <br /><br />Luckily, all our family members and friends LOVE my daughter like they do my other children and would never exclude her, treat her in a lesser way or say odd things to her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-70937316903144724112010-05-18T14:58:47.225-04:002010-05-18T14:58:47.225-04:00You're so right. And at least for us, its not...You're so right. And at least for us, its not just strangers who say things that are careless or insensitive. Even our family members say things that are upsetting and that tend to set our Lil Joe apart from the other kids.Wanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03314255954671021901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-26601772950597679612010-05-12T18:51:47.266-04:002010-05-12T18:51:47.266-04:00Thanks for your post Ellen. Perception is everythi...Thanks for your post Ellen. Perception is everything in terms of how people view disabilities. Acknowledging differences can be helpful, but looking beyond them is just as important, as is finding opportunities to challenge expectations. <br /><br />Our recent blog post looks at two individuals who are redefining what “disability” means: http://www.healthymagination.com/blog/a-fresh-take-on-disability-redefining-what-is-possible/healthymaginationhttp://www.healthymagination.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-33061549757012176542010-05-08T17:39:02.957-04:002010-05-08T17:39:02.957-04:00Thank you for such a wonderful post.Thank you for such a wonderful post.Sweeter the berryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16513906533500396132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-81217949207449809202010-05-06T18:50:01.825-04:002010-05-06T18:50:01.825-04:00Exactly! I love this post. My son has Apraxia (n...Exactly! I love this post. My son has Apraxia (neurological disorder of speech). While he cannot always communicate his thoughts clearly using words. He understands everything! There are so many times when others make comments that leave me thinking "what the &^*$*@#(@(" I wish people would think before they speak. Thanks for writing your blog. I really enjoy your posts! <br />Katie<br />www.warriortherapymom.blogspot.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-6183539388186367552010-05-03T09:39:18.500-04:002010-05-03T09:39:18.500-04:00I couldn't get my s**t together to participate...I couldn't get my s**t together to participate in this. But what I was sort of planning on writing was along the lines of this post.Cristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06278630444931205359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-46305034571428564682010-05-03T05:20:57.597-04:002010-05-03T05:20:57.597-04:00Brilliant post. Came here via Seahorse. Our childr...Brilliant post. Came here via Seahorse. Our children might have difficulties and obstacles but they are still children and need to be treated a such....they're lovable and naughty, funny and exasperating, sweet and not so sweet like all children and we love them to bits ;O)Cusphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10717783581169397585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-33300500842548886452010-05-02T22:52:00.870-04:002010-05-02T22:52:00.870-04:00Very well put. All I want is for my daughter to b...Very well put. All I want is for my daughter to be treated as typically as possible...my myself and by society. By the way, I adore your blog. You have a wonderful writing style and voice so much of my own life.sugar magnoliahttp://sugarmagnolia70.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-84037803865373725462010-05-02T19:43:17.189-04:002010-05-02T19:43:17.189-04:00Ellen,
I think as we become more inclusive as a s...Ellen, <br />I think as we become more inclusive as a society and our children are integrated, this will happen less and less. My son, who is typical, (whatever that means), has been going to school integrated with peers with significant needs and he doesn't even blink when he sees others with visible disabilities at stores etc. <br /><br />We as a society are going to change because our children are changing. They will be our best teachers.Counselorburnworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09238389706668258143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-33819121570932801472010-05-02T13:36:58.690-04:002010-05-02T13:36:58.690-04:00Thank you for this wonderful post! It means so muc...Thank you for this wonderful post! It means so much to see parents of children with disabilities say such understanding things, parents who "get it."<br />As someone with disabilities, on some days I feel sometimes like those pity comments are worse than the straight out mean comments...Assiyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08555670525635631421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-80530606892318264342010-05-02T11:22:32.449-04:002010-05-02T11:22:32.449-04:00wonderful post, i'm gonna share it on facebook...wonderful post, i'm gonna share it on facebook!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-2532290621061912722010-05-02T10:54:04.622-04:002010-05-02T10:54:04.622-04:00I can relate to some extent. I parituclarly liked ...I can relate to some extent. I parituclarly liked your comment about how your son isn't "jus tlike a baby". To me, it makes no sense to treat people with disabilities as though they are abled people of a different age. Even though I have multiple disabilities, I am still an adult. And on the ice cream thing, I once was eating ice cream, and some person approached me saying in a sing-song voice: "Do you like that ice cream?" Well, duh, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't be eating it.Astridhttp://astridvanwoerkom.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-19307477099759531132010-05-02T10:16:34.784-04:002010-05-02T10:16:34.784-04:00This struck a chord with me as my BADD post is on ...This struck a chord with me as my BADD post is on friends of mine who have a child with a disability, and how I feel I messed up when we met recently. I promise to do better next time.seahorsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04006649663400552591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-79435463409615006022010-05-01T23:46:16.278-04:002010-05-01T23:46:16.278-04:00Great post.Great post.Live to love and laughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13537836247826612808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-84512148047163098392010-05-01T23:02:12.312-04:002010-05-01T23:02:12.312-04:00I get what you're saying and I also get what C...I get what you're saying and I also get what Cristina is saying. <br /><br />People say things out of pure ignorance, sometimes. If they mean well, I don't mind. It beats being mean-spirited or calling names or shrinking away in horror or giving looks of disgust. <br /><br />Disability awareness is an ongoing educational process, I think. So long as people are trying to get smarter on the subject, and aren't being deliberately unkind, I will cut them some slack.Felicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-34670933095013421722010-05-01T22:45:32.847-04:002010-05-01T22:45:32.847-04:00Great job, Ellen!Great job, Ellen!Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02189007616883663434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-6951108611343001552010-05-01T22:09:17.139-04:002010-05-01T22:09:17.139-04:00Ellen, Love this!! I had to link this one to my b...Ellen, Love this!! I had to link this one to my blog. I hope that's okay.Jacolynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14966291460929695590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-19665833109732601172010-05-01T21:35:09.932-04:002010-05-01T21:35:09.932-04:00I am very thankful for the excellent experience I ...I am very thankful for the excellent experience I had in my one year at a private elementary school where each week, a school that worked with children with severe physical disabilities came to our school for lunch (both were very small and located close to one another) and then hung out for our recess period. At first, all of the students were a little uncomfortable (as anyone would be when introduced to new people who looked and acted different from them) - both the students at my school and the students at the other school. But, we soon began to understand each other, and although some of the students could not speak at all, most were in wheel chairs or used walkers and some had issues controlling their arms and head - the instructors worked with us to teach us how to interact safely and healthily. And at the end of that year, we could all "play" together, eat together and respect one another. I am thankful now because I think it has made me aware of differences not being scary or pitiful, but just different. I wish that more kids could be exposed in a learning environment with truly supportive adults - like Ellen and some of the others who commented here. I think a lot of the reactions you describe are simply due to lack of exposure, experience and the resulting discomfort. Our society has a system that "hides" children with disabilities in special classes and special schools and when they are "mainstreamed" it often happens without any support for students on either side of the discussion.2ndheartmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00919890652824633782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-13393480821661703622010-05-01T20:35:39.181-04:002010-05-01T20:35:39.181-04:00Thanks for writing me back, Ellen! We'll defi...Thanks for writing me back, Ellen! We'll definitely keep you posted on which app we go with Proloquo2go or Grace. :)<br /><br />To your point, as a longtime fan of your blog, I know you definitely understand firsthand how hurtful an assumption someone makes about your child (or you, as a parent) can be--whether that assumption is that a girl should love pink, a boy should love blue, a kid can eat peanut m&ms, or that a disabled child isn't worthy of the same respect due to another child.<br /><br />All our kids are worthy of love and the respect. That's something I am glad BADD is around to tell people about! :) I look forward to participating next year. :)Cristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05624255220638749596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-13863228990192897922010-05-01T20:12:06.202-04:002010-05-01T20:12:06.202-04:00Very well said as always!Very well said as always!Wherever HE Leads We'll Gohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15042627234253638468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-1213204562310488832010-05-01T19:07:10.320-04:002010-05-01T19:07:10.320-04:00Love this post you are a talented writer ell...Love this post you are a talented writer ellenAZ Chapmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07649451111980332722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-75067514825027359202010-05-01T18:15:35.118-04:002010-05-01T18:15:35.118-04:00Well said, Jo, and thanks for the nice words, ever...Well said, Jo, and thanks for the nice words, everyone. Cristina, I totally get what you are saying, and how painful it must be to hear things like that. I do think accommodations need to be made for kids with special needs. Max cannot use any of the playgrounds in our area because they are not accessible to him, which frustrates me to no end. <br /><br />Heather, I've wondered the exact same thing about Max. I also wish people would comment on Max's smarts or his personality more often! It's all too easy to look at a kid who's handicapped and lavish praise on their cuteness, and not look beyond and see all the amazing other traits they possess.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-63058027434697199892010-05-01T17:51:23.245-04:002010-05-01T17:51:23.245-04:00I totally agree with the heart of this message tha...I totally agree with the heart of this message that kids should be viewed as kids first and their disabilities should come into the picture only as necessary so that accommodations can be made. As a teacher in a preschool classroom with inclusive peers, my children were delighted to learn all of the things they had in common and very quickly focused on those instead of the physical/communication differences.Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03739014153757925986noreply@blogger.com