tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post4914756047372378530..comments2024-03-28T03:35:52.176-04:00Comments on Love That Max : An interview with the author of Welcome To HollandEllen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-12662563220625093442013-10-09T15:29:40.348-04:002013-10-09T15:29:40.348-04:00Thank you for posting this wonderful interview. I...Thank you for posting this wonderful interview. I referred to it (and to your "words of wisdom") in a post I published today on my blog, Koogle's Korner. :)<br />http://koogleskorner.blogspot.com/2013/10/trip-to-holland.htmlI am Koogle...https://www.blogger.com/profile/13600508132579703683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-24797061632952526672013-10-03T12:19:39.556-04:002013-10-03T12:19:39.556-04:00Sesame Street may have a track record of encouragi...Sesame Street may have a track record of encouraging diversity and inclusion, but they are still one of only few shows that refuses to provide captioning on their webcasts. They similarly do not respond to emails inquiring about captioning. The Linda the Librarian days are over. Perhaps if you are still in touch with EPK, you could ask her why deaf kids are a demographic Sesame Street does not care about including anymore. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-2797170795922801142013-10-02T00:41:51.550-04:002013-10-02T00:41:51.550-04:00I saw signs for it as I drove through Atlanta rece...I saw signs for it as I drove through Atlanta recently.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04757416448049310267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-36424434036452338232013-07-14T12:37:53.684-04:002013-07-14T12:37:53.684-04:00Imagine you are at the airport on your way to Ital...Imagine you are at the airport on your way to Italy but get on the plane to Holland. You stow your baggage, sit down and talk to another passenger about your trip to Italy. They reply that this plane is going to Holland. What do you do? Do you say that it is too late because you have already boarded the plane or do you get off and go board the plane to Italy.<br /><br />How long after boarding the wrong plane are you committed to arriving at the unintended destination?<br /><br />With pre-natal testing for Down Syndrome and abortion have you just boarded the plane or have you arrived at the unintended destination? If you test and abort then you can try again for a healthy baby.Jeff Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-12136679131868601932012-01-06T02:11:54.749-05:002012-01-06T02:11:54.749-05:00I think that the big difference between the author...I think that the big difference between the author's experience and those who don't appreciate it is the severity of the child's cognitive and social skills. My daughter has cerebral palsy and PDD-NOS, but is very loving and playful while still having some characteristics of autism. I have always thought how grateful I am that while she has many, many challenges, she expresses her love verbally and with affection every day and that gives me a lot of strength that not all parents of kids are lucky enough to experience because of the severity of their child's disability. And remember, there are stages of grief and we are definitely different people at the different pages. Reading this article when my daughter was two was not nearly as comforting as when she was five I had dealt with my denial and anger. Also, for me, part of the loveliness of Holland is how my daughter's needs have made me and my entire family more compassionate, considerate and loving people. A painful way to learn these lessons, but it is true that I appreciate people and savor my blessings much more than I ever did before my daughter was born. I have also met amazing people and met people who I know will be life-long friends and I never would have known them without my daughter. Does that mean I am glad my daughter was born with a disability......of course not! Would I give up all these life-changing experiences to let her have typical health and development, of course. However, I have to find meaning in this journey as it can be overwhelming a lot of the time.Just Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11382698544913032988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-24707376817916533062011-07-20T13:18:06.208-04:002011-07-20T13:18:06.208-04:00Upfront, I want to say that I am not the mom of a ...Upfront, I want to say that I am not the mom of a Holland-SN child. But I would like to give the point of view of someone from "Italy" on the WTH story. Before I had children, I got a job at an ARC. I guess I grew up in the non-inclusion era, because I had never really been exposed to anyone with SN. Getting my Masters degree in Psychology was the extent of my knowledge of people with SN. I was given WTH to read when I got the job at ARC. It helped me so much. I'll be brutally honest here, because I suspect you have all encountered people with the same attitude I used to have. When I saw those with SN, I secretly felt pity. I felt glad it wasn't me or my family. I felt sorry for them and what their parents must go through. Reading WTH changed that for me. Suddenly I got it. Those who were different were not "broken". Their families were not to be pitied. They might face different challenges and many difficulties, but that was mixed with different joys and adventures, which I came to understand much more as I directed our programs for persons with developmental disabilities and one for supported living for adults with mental retardation. I loved my clients and their families, and became much like a mother or beloved aunt to many of them. I know many people can relate to Beruit or Schmollad better than Holland. That is the nature of analogies. They work for some people or situations, not for others. But I think the WTH poem works especially well for "Italians" who may not have any experience with Holland. It gives us a new perspective, and I was very grateful for it. I hope I haven't offended anyone with this post. I thought it might help some people understand the view of non-Dutch. Our attitudes usually come from non-exposure and ignorance, not malice or any intention to offend. It's easy to do something inappropriate when visiting a new country. Blessings to you all.GloryWriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599245057683082912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-14790483217152549442011-04-04T21:46:21.540-04:002011-04-04T21:46:21.540-04:00When I was in college, studying to become an eleme...When I was in college, studying to become an elementary school teacher, I remember reviewing WTH in my (one) special education class. I never intended to (nor did I) teach special ed, but the poem just *stuck* with me. It was very touching to me, and I felt a certain ache that I didn't quite understand. It was one of the few pieces of paper from college that I filed away instead of just tossing. I never thought of it again.<br />Fast-forward 11 years. It was an hour after giving birth to my second son, and my doctor broke the news to me that he has Down syndrome. My world (so I thought) was shattered. WTH was in the packet that I receieved from the hospital. As I laid in my hospital bed, physically hurting from my C-section, and emotionally hurting from the death of life I had my heart set on, the ache that I had once felt from reading the poem returned tenfold. But WTH, to me, is so true and so comforting. My second son (I have three now) Benjamin turns three in three weeks, and he is my heart. My life has been so enriched because of him. Does it still hurt? Yes. Do I still wish he didn't have Down syndrome? Yes. But I try to live my life by the last words of this great post:<br /><br />Savor whatever experience you are fortunate enough to have. Make the most of the hand you are dealt. Try to find beauty in each day if you can.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11387011004798871747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-64719529114235569032011-03-27T11:36:25.619-04:002011-03-27T11:36:25.619-04:00I recently shared Welcome to Holland with parents ...I recently shared Welcome to Holland with parents who were in a NICU as their baby had several surgeries already had never been out of hospital. They really were in a foreign place they never expected and there are lots of words/phrases/terms to learn.<br />I have always found it such a well written analogy of how quickly things change and how we end up somewhere unexpected. I have raised my own 2 boys with disabilities and would not have done things any differently.<br />Recently I found a letter talking about being in Holland for a while now as a response (Parent to Parent Handbook) to Emily's letter and it was wonderful as well. Thank you for sharing your letter with others it has been very helpful.Darlenenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-60317128809736793362011-03-23T13:59:17.289-04:002011-03-23T13:59:17.289-04:00I cannot tell you in words how much WTH meant to m...I cannot tell you in words how much WTH meant to me. I remembering reading it very soon after my daughter with DS was born. It was a complicated delivery ending in an emergency C-section. My daughter was whisked away to the NICU and I had not really even gotten to touch her because the epidural had spread upward a little too far and my arms were paralyzed. I was physically and mentally hurting. Everything seemed unreal, black, and distant. This was the worst time in my entire life. That poem was my lifeline. It told me in just a few words that it was ok to mourn but that in the end life would still be life and worth living even if different from the way I would have planned it. I cannot thank you enough.Jennifernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-53275107220673754652011-03-23T11:11:29.599-04:002011-03-23T11:11:29.599-04:00Thank you, Ellen. This was lovely!! If she only kn...Thank you, Ellen. This was lovely!! If she only knew what a difference that poem made to me...and still does. :)Tiffanyhttp://www.elastamom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-92223126696135237432011-03-23T08:34:58.928-04:002011-03-23T08:34:58.928-04:00Feel free to link, Vanessa—glad you like this.
Jo...Feel free to link, Vanessa—glad you like this.<br /><br />Joanna, I've had a couple of friends with so-called typical kids send this essay to me. I think they sometimes can't find the words to say and sending this to me has made them feel like they are able to do do something. This essay has comforted THEM.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-15960160248595167052011-03-23T07:37:43.266-04:002011-03-23T07:37:43.266-04:00Ellen - Would it be OK to put a link on my blog to...Ellen - Would it be OK to put a link on my blog to this posting? his is so wonderful.VMIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05077362824370880824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-85314214893590425052011-03-22T23:50:19.566-04:002011-03-22T23:50:19.566-04:00What a great interview! I didn't know the hist...What a great interview! I didn't know the history of the poem, and have a new appreciation for it. I have mixed feelings about how it has related to my experience, sometimes preferring the "Welcome to Beirut" spin on things. But I appreciate the idea that this is our family's life, and that I can spend my life looking at where everyone else is going or choose to try to be happy here and now.Wantapeanuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11993949583915924482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-12620984617296546162011-03-22T22:20:54.049-04:002011-03-22T22:20:54.049-04:00Awesome interview, Ellen. Thanks for taking the ti...Awesome interview, Ellen. Thanks for taking the time to share this amazing story with us!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-39802148527064244452011-03-22T19:15:57.484-04:002011-03-22T19:15:57.484-04:00I am definitely more in the "Holland Schmolla...I am definitely more in the "Holland Schmolland" camp, but nonetheless I appreciate her being upfront about the fact that her poem is not *supposed* to apply to everyone. As another commenter wrote, I think what upsets some of us more is that so many people say "Oh, you MUST read Welcome to Holland!" without realizing that the essay simply does not apply to many situations where a child has major medical, psychiatric, or behavioral issues, for example. It's not the author's fault. It's just the sad truth that many SN parents could only dream of a place like Holland.mymomshopshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09909337957811111720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-34281790139257539692011-03-22T17:17:52.203-04:002011-03-22T17:17:52.203-04:00Wonderful read! Can you find the author of Holland...Wonderful read! Can you find the author of Holland, Schmolland and get her view too? :) <br />Thanks, Lovethatmax, this was great.Susan Waltonhttp://www.susanwaltonbooks.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-34901279188677124932011-03-22T15:05:13.518-04:002011-03-22T15:05:13.518-04:00Someone told me about "Holland" when my ...Someone told me about "Holland" when my daughter was in the NICU at birth. I did enjoy it then because I appreciated the positive spin on an unexpected turn of events in life. My daughter is now 8 and is doing really well in many ways (she has Down syndrome), but we struggle almost daily with behavioral challenges that test the limits of my appreciation for a rosy outlook on a change in my life's journey. I totally get why people might be put off by the piece because it doesn't (cannot) speak for families caring for children with far more complicated and challenging concerns than her son has had; but it is still a good poem for many families just beginning to cope with their child's diagnosis, and I feel it does more good and harm.Roo's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09113038876901307245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-35702299110159467192011-03-22T11:21:32.073-04:002011-03-22T11:21:32.073-04:00Very interesting interview. I remember receiving t...Very interesting interview. I remember receiving that poem from a friend after she found out my daughter has cp. It did give me comfort. Also, I've always been appreciative of the fact that Sesame Street has children with special needs and it's nice to know who was responsible for that.Cari Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897886987412516265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-91569750850457272912011-03-22T00:16:12.429-04:002011-03-22T00:16:12.429-04:00Not a fan of the poem but her son's book Count...Not a fan of the poem but her son's book Count Us In was one of the first books I read as a new Mom. I would say that since my son has DS and Autism and he was adopted that is why the poem never really fit me. I went to Russia instead. Great interview. Had no idea that the author of that poem was Jason Kingsley's Mom.Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17231640306007208483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-74417586549928201472011-03-21T22:09:32.890-04:002011-03-21T22:09:32.890-04:00Ellen, I really needed to hear the part about figh...Ellen, I really needed to hear the part about fighting and advocating and never letting other people tell you what is best for your kid. Thank Ms.Kingsly so much for me!Candacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201448627487443779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-52036043098102851582011-03-21T21:39:57.716-04:002011-03-21T21:39:57.716-04:00I can't remember when or where I first read Em...I can't remember when or where I first read Emily's essay, but it was when Max was very young, and I found it comforting and relatable. Since then, I've also been emailed it a lot. I've never minded that; I don't feel anyone is trying to tell how to be comforted. It's just something to share, in the same way that we share posts from other blogs that are helpful.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-43500465108863454572011-03-21T17:05:56.238-04:002011-03-21T17:05:56.238-04:00Great interview!
I'm with Claire. I appreci...Great interview! <br /><br />I'm with Claire. I appreciate where the author is coming from, but have been emailed this piece so many times I've lost count. Having a child with Autism is no Holland.Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02509305523940634182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-6247041737745052032011-03-21T16:52:37.523-04:002011-03-21T16:52:37.523-04:00While I am also one of the people who aren't i...While I am also one of the people who aren't in the total appreciation camp, I will say this...her no bullshit answer on the question of whether everybody embraces it was freaking COOL with me. <br /><br />In a way she is saying hey...don't be mad at me for CREATING the thing, here's why I wrote it and I stand by doing it for my circumstances. I can't help that you may have received it or perceived it in whatever way you did. That's out of my control. If it doesn't apply to you then don't use it and 'then write something else' that does.<br /><br />I respected the answer, a LOT.<br /><br />KOO-DOZE!!!blogzillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08268388544631653375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-34613788325691511602011-03-21T14:56:21.617-04:002011-03-21T14:56:21.617-04:00Thanks for sharing this!Thanks for sharing this!Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13259709507156454270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-91478185562515717602011-03-21T13:47:15.865-04:002011-03-21T13:47:15.865-04:00Thanks Ellen I recently came across WTH it was ver...Thanks Ellen I recently came across WTH it was very enriching for me it was a unusual way to sum up how it feels to have a child with special needs. Although sometimes it does feel a lot more painful then the poem describes it, it is nice to have the poem to remind of us of how the special needs journey feels sometimes. Ok enough of that, I would really like to know what special needs amusement park she is speaking about I would love to take my five beautiful children. I tried to look it up and found a park by the name of Lake Winnie in the Georgia area would this happen to be the park ? I would love to go I already wanted to take my children to the Atlanta Aquarium this would add icing on the cake for my little ones.....LadyAngelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00975642404066928261noreply@blogger.com