tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post1081530393795971509..comments2024-03-17T12:02:12.410-04:00Comments on Love That Max : When programs won't accommodate kids with special needsEllen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-26690393743822614012016-06-14T01:28:02.829-04:002016-06-14T01:28:02.829-04:00Ellen! I just read your story and it had me in tea...Ellen! I just read your story and it had me in tears...also felt my blood boiling with anger! I have just gone through a similar situation to make a long story short I have A 6 year old son with developmental delays he has a speech delay and gross motor delay. I signed him up for a class through our city that is called "This and that of kindergarten" it's basically storytime songs and basic activities. I have let the director know of my son's delays and she said that this class would be perfect for him. However when I arrived the first day the teacher let me know that she had heard about my son from the director and that it would not be a good fit for my son to be in the class because she does not work with kids like my son... I told her the director had said it would be fine for him to attend the class and i was even going to stay to help my son out with anything he may need extra help with. The teacher was Furious she kept telling me it would not be a good fit and it was not a good idea however I stayed since my son was so looking forward to the class... Just like Max was trying to ask for " camp camp" my son had also been saying yay school day!all day.I did not want my son to feel sad or disappointed about not being able to stay so I stayed even though I had just been totally told off by this teacher... anyway the director has just called us and let us know my son is to be withdrawn from the class due to the request of the teacher. The teacher stated that my son had thrown a ball at a child very roughly and also had grabbed something out of her hands abruptly.. Give me a break...really!! That is 100% false as I was there 100% of the time and nothing like that ever happened! Ugghh so sad but they're disgusting human being that could be so discriminatory against special needs children!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08690921975829815402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-63745001485091049962014-09-14T19:52:13.903-04:002014-09-14T19:52:13.903-04:00Ugh! This breaks my heart to read. At Kids Include...Ugh! This breaks my heart to read. At Kids Included Together, we provide specific training to daycare and other recreational program providers so that they can best support children with disabilities and facilitate meaningful inclusive experiences for them. I am so sorry to hear that this program was so unwilling to meet your family's needs, and that your romantic date was ruined!!! Please refer the hotel's program to our website (www.kitonline.org), and any other future programs you'd like Max to attend, if you feel they could do a better job at supporting your son and family. I am so sorry that this happened to you and yours, and I hope that someday, with some help from KIT, no kid will ever be turned away like yours was. Keep fighting, mom!Elise (Kids Included Together)http://www.kitonline.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-10521673429861690042014-09-04T09:07:38.058-04:002014-09-04T09:07:38.058-04:00WOW! That woman is a piece of work. It's sai...WOW! That woman is a piece of work. It's said that people tend to brace for consequences from others that they would dish out, so this woman seems to be more than a little defensive, snide, illiterate, litigious, hypocritical, and uber unprofessional. I didn't realize she had a crystal ball to forecast his abilities after a year (though some might call that short-sightedness). l also didn't realize that you could enforce corporate policies that are not well advertised and crystal clear to all patrons. I also detect a sense that she is merely hiding behind these so-called staffing issues and procedures to attack you personally. Not a good way to do business. The excuses from the hotel and the camp about not being able to reach you are limp at best - a professional would not have simply given up when the phone number didn't work. The worst of it was her threatening you with lawsuits in response to your request for comment! Clearly, the woman is clueless. Praying that you find a camp experience next year that is fun and staffed by people who are way more professional, compassionate and open-minded. (((HUG))) for the kids. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-86726993791720839242014-08-22T23:12:16.486-04:002014-08-22T23:12:16.486-04:00Boy, can I ever relate to this! Imagine this scena...Boy, can I ever relate to this! Imagine this scenario, you sign your special needs kid up for a SPECIAL NEEDS CAMP and they STILL exclude him! Yep, happened to my son, who has autism. They were mean to him too, and that was the worst part of it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-6351340317940205772014-07-01T06:55:59.624-04:002014-07-01T06:55:59.624-04:00Agree, almost anything can be seen as an accommoda...Agree, almost anything can be seen as an accommodation for a disability, but it must reasonable. Requiring a one on one aid to assist or an extra staffer would probably not be, in addition to the inability to have a successful interaction in the past and meet his needs. While she was less than tactful in saying she couldn't understand him, she was implying that she could not accomodate and meet his needs. In order for her to properly do so, regardless of your belief it is reasonable legally that an accommodation would include an individual with training in understanding special needs. The court would likely weigh the purpose, a night out and the cost and care would not likely be justifiable in their eyes. ADA steps in for more fundamental actions. Again, sad this happened but throwing out legal language may not be valid. She is just a business owner, and while it would have been the kind and right thing for her to accept Max she probably is not legally bound.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-86906062257692919742014-06-27T05:51:57.989-04:002014-06-27T05:51:57.989-04:00I edit writing all day long, so I can't NOT be...I edit writing all day long, so I can't NOT be snarky here and comment on her text writing/grammar. I hope she's not teaching grammar at camp. Okay, now that that is behind me. This is so, so unfortunate, and I'm glad that you posted. Very glad. We applied to a private school for Sammie for next year (as plan B if she didn't get into the inclusive charter we entered the lottery for), and she didn't get in. They gave me a very company line about how "public school would serve her better because they didn't have the resources she would need." I WAS PLANNING TO FUND OUR OWN ONE:ONE AIDE. All that we wanted THEM to provide was a supportive, loving environment and caring teachers (Sammie is cognitively age-appropriate, and they'd even acknowledged that when they did some developmental testing). It was so appalling, and I sobbed after we got the news. It just felt like such a punch in the gut, and I kept thinking how I got to take this punch for Sammie, but in life there would be many, many more and I couldn't take them all. This is such bullshit. (and by the way, that private school's mission is one that is founded on creating a culture of community, diversity and acceptance . . . apparently diversity to them is just about skin color and "acceptance" and "community" don't include inclusion of kids with special needs). <br /><br />All that camp needed to provide to Max was a loving, supportive, fun environment for a few hours. If they can't do that, they don't deserve to be in operation. Not for any kid. Special needs or not. I'm so hurt and angry for you. Momttorneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09783917281663075229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-16750150709408875552014-06-27T05:00:12.070-04:002014-06-27T05:00:12.070-04:00This is wrong. Max is a citizen as much as Sabrin...This is wrong. Max is a citizen as much as Sabrina. If they excluded her they would be in legal trouble. I think people use disability as an excuse to have apathy. This is why I want to advocate for people with disabilities I use a wheelchair and sometimes people will say if it is just going to be used by me why bother doing a ramp since I'm the only one who needs a ramp in my small town. That is wrong as well because everyone needs access. Call the disability law center if you need toTuesonanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-57354843681793564012014-06-27T01:17:16.238-04:002014-06-27T01:17:16.238-04:00This has absolutely nothing to do with the case at...This has absolutely nothing to do with the case at hand and I wonder why you are bringing it up here. It would be like going to a site about Trayvon Martin and bringing up an anecdote about another African American who had engaged in criminal activities. Nobody is saying that all people with disabilities are blameless. This is about Ellen's family. That's it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-4740198706295771732014-06-26T23:52:54.991-04:002014-06-26T23:52:54.991-04:00This is awful!! The tone of her texts are as bad a...This is awful!! The tone of her texts are as bad as what she has to say. I'm glad you are getting the word out. And I hope at some point this person feels the shame and regret that a decent person who wrote such a horrible text would. I recently took my daughter to a 'Waggin Tails Tutors' event at the library and we were told she couldn't participate because she couldn't read with full independence and I would not be permitted to accompany her. Yes, excluded from reading to a dog. As if the dog will take offense if I had to help her read a word. We've got a long way to go! Shantihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11323636965254272203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-77574142841275907322014-06-26T23:31:09.146-04:002014-06-26T23:31:09.146-04:00And then to have the nerve to tell her she had sav...And then to have the nerve to tell her she had saved her voicemail for her attorney if she did anything on the internet (or something like that. My blood was boiling by this time and I was only half reading and muttering under my breath)! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-91014640236500706782014-06-26T23:27:01.062-04:002014-06-26T23:27:01.062-04:00I don't think you are understanding the proble...I don't think you are understanding the problem. At least I hope that is the case and it really would bother you if this happened to your special needs child. If it really was a case of not being Able to reach them, a responsible business owner would have addressed it as such and not made it out to be a Max problem. That totally crossed a line that Max's mom had every right to be enraged about. She was a lot nicer than I am afraid I would have been. I thought she handled it with a lot of tact and patience, especially being in her line of work and the amount of typos involved Brendanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-58933083109082255222014-06-26T18:36:39.656-04:002014-06-26T18:36:39.656-04:00Autism and other disabilities are no excuse to hur...Autism and other disabilities are no excuse to hurt another person. This is from an autistic person. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-23870341811815973982014-06-26T17:00:53.149-04:002014-06-26T17:00:53.149-04:00This bothers me greatly. As a parent of a special ...This bothers me greatly. As a parent of a special needs kid, someone who has worked with special needs kids (and adults), and as a teacher, this is just not right. Every child deserves a chance. Every child grows and learns. Yes, for some it might take more time, but it is what it is. Communication is the key here, and obviously this woman lacks some skills in that domain. Had things been communicated better, this would have been avoided, I have no doubt. Karma is on your side in this I think. There will be karma to deal with for her. I hope it's not too awful, but if she loses a little bit of business, then it would serve her right. Good for you for sticking up for your child. Good for you for teaching a life lesson to your other child. I will bet anything your other child will grow up to be one heck of an advocate. By then it will be too late for Max, but not for someone else. We need to start teaching our children now so that this doesn't perpetuate. My heart goes out to Max. I bet he was crushed. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-68278669000574453222014-06-26T14:20:23.164-04:002014-06-26T14:20:23.164-04:00This is very sad. Please do all you can to advocat...This is very sad. Please do all you can to advocate for Max and kids like him.<br />I have a lot to say. I will just write what type of message are they sending to these typical developing kids. How can they treat a child this way? Please contact organizations and agencies representing your child disability to make them even more aware of this horrible practice. It is very unfair. How great can this program be when they behave this way with a vulnerable member of society. They should be happy your child is around there typical peers. Your child is a first class citizen just like any child. What century are they living in? Please do all you can to set a good example. The hotel is also responsible. They should have not given you such a nonsense excuse. I wish you the best.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-7172035785895054482014-06-26T10:48:24.072-04:002014-06-26T10:48:24.072-04:00That was disgusting. No one should ever be treated...That was disgusting. No one should ever be treated like that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-46892801890719571702014-06-26T10:33:58.317-04:002014-06-26T10:33:58.317-04:00as far as I am concerned that Program needs to be ...as far as I am concerned that Program needs to be Sued. let,s teach them not to discriminate against Innocent Kids who have issues. Max had the right to attend that camp his parents paid for. under the ADA they could be sued for a very very large sum. I am disabled my self I have Apergers syndrome. And I get hated on all the time it is wrong, That camp and the Hotel should be sued end of story good bye the End.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-61396353522298695262014-06-26T10:30:38.277-04:002014-06-26T10:30:38.277-04:00Yes, it's heartbreaking if a kid with special ...Yes, it's heartbreaking if a kid with special needs is excluded, but there ARE certain times when it's necessary for safety purposes (though it SO wasn't in Ellen's case).<br /><br />Last year, my girl required six stitches courtesy of a classmate who stabbed her with a protractor (a little boy on the spectrum with, um, let's call it impulse control issues). The joys of small town living are such that my husband and I were supposedly the "bad guys" for demanding the kid be removed from our kid's class, as is a single second grade class in the single elementary school in our tiny town -- so my girl got bumped up to third grade. Heaven forbid the the kid who is at fault bear the the consequences of his actions.<br /><br />(I require my kid to be civil to the little boy that assaulted her, because, well, it keeps the world from descending into anarchy and is the right thing to do. As a result, I just got another heartbreaking call from that boy's mom, asking why my girl is nice to her son yet will not play with him at school, declines playdates with him, etc. There's really no nice way to say 'no, not now, not ever - the natural consequences of assaulting someone are that said person, well, wants nothing to do with you).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-65189667337537348752014-06-26T10:09:51.125-04:002014-06-26T10:09:51.125-04:00As an autistic person, I can empathize with you. W...As an autistic person, I can empathize with you. What if a new student teacher is not quite as accepting as the last one? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-26491443908504840732014-06-26T10:05:12.106-04:002014-06-26T10:05:12.106-04:00How unprofessional to respond by text, but at leas...How unprofessional to respond by text, but at least you have documentation what was said!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02718307787281714190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-20753810565482392482014-06-26T09:23:02.080-04:002014-06-26T09:23:02.080-04:00Exclusion makes my heart ache...I am sorry this ha...Exclusion makes my heart ache...I am sorry this happened to Max. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01378036633716899940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-26524701102464269612014-06-26T08:52:07.699-04:002014-06-26T08:52:07.699-04:00I'm sure the hotel's lawyers will be thril...I'm sure the hotel's lawyers will be thrilled to know you have all her texts too. ;-) In all seriousness though, I am heartbroken this happened to you. People love their happy go lucky viral feed good stories but so many don't realize those stories don't happen unless they actively play their role in it too. What a missed chance for them and all those other kids to get to know what a cool kid Max is! Eileen Shaklee https://www.blogger.com/profile/04658354442888448425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-81107728115462915892014-06-26T04:26:46.360-04:002014-06-26T04:26:46.360-04:00"I will keep your voicemail as a threat to us..."I will keep your voicemail as a threat to us and [the hotel] and submit it to their attorneys for proof ad [and] evidence in a court of law if our companies are negatively or discrinatorily [discriminatorily] mentioned on line."<br /><br />Oh, good luck with that one, honey. I wonder, did she feel as if she were breaking the law? Perhaps, as you mentioned, Title III of the ADA? Did she honestly think that you, as a writer weren't going to, I don't know, WRITE about this? <br /><br />It's not as if you have to rake her over hot coals, either. The truth, it seems, is ugly enough.<br /><br />I'm so very sorry your family experienced this, Ellen, especially Max. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00655247840704194479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-80744843680209230602014-06-26T01:13:25.665-04:002014-06-26T01:13:25.665-04:00Ellen, I'd sue, period!Ellen, I'd sue, period!marcynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-71617141635320774112014-06-25T23:50:56.948-04:002014-06-25T23:50:56.948-04:00A student teacher worked with my school band. I wa...A student teacher worked with my school band. I was not sure if he had a special education degree (probably not), but he was kind and accepting to me. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-74134364464626679092014-06-25T23:34:29.789-04:002014-06-25T23:34:29.789-04:00I only hope that there are more teens out there li...I only hope that there are more teens out there like you. You are amazing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com