Monday, June 13, 2016

Baby therapy


It was quiet in the house yesterday, on a day when I didn't really want to be alone with my thoughts. Dave had taken Max and Sabrina to the town pool, Ben was napping and I was scrolling through news reports about the mass shooting at the Orlando club. I felt sad and disturbed. I worried about the growing threat of terrorism, and the lack of gun control in this country. 

I stared at the message on the Pulse Orlando Facebook page for I don't know how long: "Everyone get out of pulse and keep running." 

Then a good thing happened, which is Ben woke up early from his nap. Ordinarily, this isn't something I welcome except it forced me to tear myself away from my computer. 

After I changed him, I put him on the floor of his room. Ben's just beginning to wiggle-move around and is steady enough to not roll over and bump his head on the wood floor. I placed Sophie the Giraffe a bit out of reach to see if he could get to her. She is his BFF; he literally yelps in excitement whenever I hand him to her. 


I decided to lie down on the floor, too.


Babies have the most intense focus, the kind a lot of us often don't. In adults, it's called "flow"—when you're so immersed in an activity that you don't notice the passage of time.


 Ben batted Sophie around. He nibbled on a leg. He bopped her head on the floor. I squeezed her so she squeaked, and he flashed me his two-toothed grin.


As I lay there, my anxiety started to slip away. It was the zen of Ben. And for a little while, the world was a less sad, scary place. 



12 comments:

  1. Ben is absolutely adorable and really looks like Max in these photos. I'm glad he was able to help you. Have you had to discuss the mass shootings with Max or Sabrina?

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    1. I've discussed them with Sabrina--her friends were texting about it. She also knew about the shooting of Christina Grimmie. I had to reassure her that it was random that they both happened on the heels of each other in Orlando, and that it was still a safe place. And we talked a little bit about how people who do such things have severe mental health problems.

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    2. People who have mental health issues are actually more likely to be victimsure of crimes, not perpetrators http://m.voanews.com/a/mentally-ill-not-responsible-for-most-gun-related-violence-in-us/3371950.html

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    3. Ellen, I appreciate that you were able to reassure Sabrina. The one point you made with which I disagree is the "severe mental health issues" of the shooter. I am one of the 25 percent of Americans living with mental illness (anxiety, to be exact), and the stigma surrounding mental illness terrifies me. We are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. I absolutely cannot condone the actions of people who commit violence and terrorism, but this may not have been the best way to frame the conversation, as it associates all severe mental illness with violence in an illusory correlation.

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    4. Cheryl and Anon, thank you. You are right. In the course of our conversation I did note that "some" people who do such things have severe mental health problems, and that what they did was very rare. When the topic comes up again, I will definitely bring up that people with mental illness are more likely to be victims than perpetrators.

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    5. Thank you. :)

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  2. I absolutely use hanging out with (and snuggling!) my friend's baby as a way to get through awful days. Because babies are sweet, and smiley, and full of the happiness of right now. It doesn't matter to them what's going on "out there"; they're all about the everyday good they can see: Sophie, and Elmo, and the sprinklers at the park. May we all get such comfort and pleasure out of the simple things in life.

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  3. Ellen....
    Yesterday's mass shooting, yesterday's tragedy, yesterday's terrorist attack really hit home for me. Because I reside in Orlando, Florida? No, I live thousands of miles away from where everything happened!! But because of where that mass shooting took place.... A gay nightclub. But because of who that tragedy targeted.... Homosexuals. But because my dearest, closest, most faithful, longtime friends, S and P, are a lesbian couple. Those were "their people", if you do not mind me phrasing it like that. What if it had been S and P? What if {just like that, because of hatred and prejudice} I lost my friends? The victims were gays, lesbians, homosexuals, members of the LGBT community.... They were *human beings*.... Who are still not accepted as such.... In 20-freakin'-16. It is so sad.... To quote The Beatles.... All you need is love; All you need is love; All you need is love, love; Love is all you need. {That song has been in my head all morning long.... Which is befitting, I think....} :-(
    "Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn

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  4. Mass shootings happen because people get lonely and spiteful. Most of these shooters, especially school shooters, report feeling lonely. They are people. They are people with guns who use them for the wrong purpose, but they are people. They have complex motives, desires, and ideologies like we do and it's easy to forget with tragedies like this, but their humanity should not be forgotten.

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    1. Anna....
      "They are people".... Lone gunmen.... Terrorists.... Murderers.... They *are* people.... Messed up human beings, sadly. But they *are* people.... Well said, Friend!! ;)
      "Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn

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    2. Loved LONELINESS, FlutistPride.

      Everyone: go and read LONELINESS on MISADVENTURES IN MINECRAFT and see if Landon's story doesn't impact you.

      Yes, people have purpose - and complexity and chaos.

      The moment I forget humanity I forget to be human.

      And we could all expand our zones of moral concern.

      So good that Caitlin and Landon are friends now and have expanded their zones.

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Thanks for sharing!