Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Does the punishment fit the crime for this bully?


One thing's for sure: South Euclid, Ohio resident Edmond Aviv has issues. Court records say the 62-year-old harassed his neighbors, the Purghs, for 15 years, as reported in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The family has two adult children with developmental disabilities, cerebral palsy and epilepsy, and a paralyzed son; the husband has dementia. 

Records indicate that, after suing the family in 2010 because he was annoyed by the smell of fabric softener coming from their dryer vent, he dumped fabric softener on their lawn. He also had a fan blow kerosene fumes onto their property. Mom Sandra Prugh claimed that Aviv once smeared dog feces on their home's wheelchair ramp, and also spit on her on two separate occasions. 

When the Purghs took him to court, Aviv pleaded no contest to a fourth-degree misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct. The judge ordered him to serve 15 days in jail and seven months on probation. She mandated that he complete 100 hours of community service, anger management classes and personal counseling. And she also ordered him to sit at a busy intersection this past Sunday for five hours with a handwritten sign that read, in capital letters:

"I am a bully. I pick on children that are disabled, and I am intolerant of those that are different from myself. My actions do not reflect an appreciation for the diverse South Euclid community that I live in."

Reading about this man's actions made me mad. Reading about the sign made me uncomfortable. 

Shaming punishments, including ones involving signs, are nothing new. In one recent case, a 12-year-old in Houston who cursed at his teacher had to stand on a street holding a sign that proclaimed "I was suspended from school for cussing out my teacher." While some people are all for this form of justice, others consider it cruel and unusual punishment and say that it degrades our legal system.

I have mixed feelings about public shaming, but had particular concerns this time around. I wondered whether it reinforces societal perceptions that kids with disabilities are delicate creatures unlike others—why bullying them warrants punishment beyond the norm. Had this guy messed with kids next door who were typically developing, it's doubtful a judge would have made him hold up a sign. Also, the wording made it seem like he'd gotten in trouble only because he bullied kids with special needs. Actually, per the reports filed he'd harassed the family, one that happened to have members with special needs. Actually, an adult bullying any children—special needs or not—deserves punishment.

It's unlikely that Aviv's public humiliation would deter him from hating on people with disability again, although perhaps the community service and therapy parts of his sentence might have some impact. Too bad there's no vaccination for hate.

So, I don't think that public shaming needed to be part of this man's punishment, as vile as his behavior was. What say you?

Photo: Screen grab/ABC News video

24 comments:

  1. I have mixed feeling about public shaming in this case too you're right if the kids didn't have specialness i doubt the judge would have been so harsh

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  2. I'm opposed to the public shaming, for two reasons:

    1) Freedom of thought is fundamental to our society. This man has the right to not "appreciate diversity". He DOESN'T have the right to act on that feeling, but he should be punished (jail, fines, etc.) for harassment, vandalism, etc. without reference to his personal motives--and his neighbors are free to ostracize him because they think he's a creep.

    2) The man himself is disabled. He is mentally ill. He shouldn't be publicly shamed for his out-of-control emotions, obsessions, and irrational thoughts. Those of you who are parents of autistic kids or schizophrenic teenagers who lash out at things that anger or frustrate them--when those youngsters become adults with none of the safety nets of childhood--that is, they no longer trigger feelings of caring, sympathy, and tolerance--how do you want society to treat them?

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    1. Anonymous....
      "The man himself is disabled. He is mentally ill." I can't but agree!! ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn

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  3. Follow up stories show the punishment was ineffectual. He was angry and blames the judge for "ruining my life." It certainly will not engender any empathy. It serves only for retribution, which is never effective.

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  4. You make a good point about the focus on the kids being "disabled" contributing to keeping them in a category separate from the "norm", however I feel it is important to remember that having a disability does carry with it a certain vulnerability in our society as it is today. This guy attacked this family specifically because of their disabilities (a hate crime) and that warrants a specific punishment above the norm. In my opinion :)

    Also, While this guy does have the "right" to not value difference, ignorance and being an a-hole isn't a mental illness. (respectfully in response to "Anonymous")

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  5. At first, I thought it was horrible, to make a man stand outside like that. However, I didn't know he was bullying special needs kids, until now. I get angry at all bullying, especially when it comes from an adult, but I that piece of information put me over the line. It may not change HIS opinion necessarily, but it was humiliating. Considering that bullies victims almost always feel humiliated after being targeted, I don't feel very bad about the judges order, as the order only gave him a fraction of the embarrassment and pain that bullying causes.

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    1. Katy....
      "Considering that bullies victims almost always feel humiliated after being targeted, I don't feel very bad about the judges order, as the order only gave him a fraction of the embarrassment and pain that bullying causes.". Valid point!! I like that perspective!! Especially coming from someone such as myself who is a learning disabled oddball and was made fun of for years!! ;)

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  6. However, if the comment about him having a mental illness is correct, then yes, I don't think the sign holding is okay.

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    1. Katy....
      If--if--that this man is mentally ill, then, sure, the sign holding punishment is a "cruel and unusual punishment", as that phrase goes. But let's avoid making excuses for bad behavior, have some empathy, then pray for this bully. He's going to need it. ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn




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    2. Any disability, physical or mental, is not an excuse for hate and ignorance.

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    3. Anna....
      My point exactly!! ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn

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  7. Although he does have the right to not "appreciate diversity," he does not have the right to bully people, especially children, and get away with it. Stupidity is not a mental illness/disability. It is ignorance despite knowing the facts and opinions of others. He held the sign knowing what he did was wrong and that he could have avoided it. I think it fits because he used words to hurt others and the sign used words as his punishment.

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  8. He was also sentenced to jail time (the sign holding reduced the jail time by half), probation, anger management counseling, and psychological counseling.

    He specifically targeted the family that he targeted, over the course of years (and they've taken him to court over it before) precisely because they're vulnerable. He's not harassing wealthy white athletes, for instance. He's established a pattern of behavior where he targets marginalized people... namely, Black people and disabled people. A big part of the reason he, like other bullies, does this is because he feels comfortable doing it, he feels that he'll be supported in his behavior.

    Public shaming, in theory, makes it clear that such behavior is not acceptable. The community does not support a grown man harassing and attacking children and adults based on their race and level of ability. In actual fact, he had supporters roll out to give him lunch and water (he was only out, sitting in a lawn chair, for about two hours... as opposed to being in jail for 15 days) and a whole lot of internet notalawyers defending his "right to free speech" (you know, because poisoning people with kerosene fumes and assaulting them with bodily fluids is just like speaking out against the government).

    He claims to be upset because the judge "ruined his life." How was his life ruined? Because his actual actions over the course of several years were made public. He acted in a hateful way toward people, doing what he could to ruin their lives, but as soon as he was called on his actions and they were publicized it's unfair and other people are harming him.

    Ugh.

    Also, as someone who's mentally ill, I have NO TIME for people excusing his actions because he's "just crazy!!!" Mentally competent people are cruel and vicious constantly, every single day. Mentally healthy people make conscious choices to harm others. Most people who are mentally ill harm no one, absolutely no one, while running greater risks of harm (including murder) from abusive family members, care givers, and police officers.

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    1. Brigid Keely....
      Wow.... Bam. I can't but agree!! With every single word!!
      Love you later, Raelyn

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  9. I have to say, my daughter is a "delicate creature unlike others" and needs to be defended as such. She is in no way comparable to NT kids and I think if we push so hard to have society see all of our kids just the same as every other kid, we put some of our most vulnerable kids at risk. Case in point, some of the biggest arguments I have read over the new Disney protocol is, "Sure, you want your kid treated like everyone else's until you want special treatment for their disability." I was very discouraged reading many of the comments on an article specifically about that because most of the comments read exactly the same way. My daughter cannot be treated as a normal kid. It just is not possible and I think it does far more harm to her to try to have people see her as normal. I do believe that kids with special needs should be included, treated with dignity and respect, and hopefully, accepted as they are, but the reality is, many do need more protection and are more vulnerable than NT kids to abuse. So long story short, I think making the man hold the sign is a suitable punishment and if by some chance it was a harsher punishment because the kids involved had special needs, then more power to the judge. :)

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    1. smilinjo....
      First things first. Your daughter is Beautifully Unique.... Just as she is!! ;)
      Secondly. I can't but agree with everything that you have expressed!! ;-D
      And thirdly. {As I wrote to Ellen!!} Define "different". I mean, really? What is "normal", anyway? Are you? Am I? ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn

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  10. Ellen....
    While I haven't got anything against the words on this sign--honestly!!--I can't help but think this. Define "different". I mean, really? What is "normal", anyway? Are you? Am I? Is becoming so very annoyed by the smell of fabric softener coming from their dryer vent, and dumping fabric softener on their lawn "normal"? Or having a fan blow kerosene fumes onto their property? Is smearing canine feces on their home's wheelchair ramp "normal"? Or spitting on Mom on two separate occasions? Is any of this considered "normal" behavior? I do not think so. And bullying--however common it may be--is also not "normal" in my book. ;)
    Love you later, Raelyn

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    1. PS. And the question is.... Will this neighbor, this man, this bully, stop his behavior? ;)

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    2. The behavior was inexcusable
      The fabric softener smell, though, can be deadly to a person's health--there was a new employee at work using massive amounts of a highly perfumed softener--every time they moved, the smell wafted around--a coworker with asthma had breathing problems because of this smell and ended up being taken away by ambulance and hospitalized
      Most likely there is another part of this story not being reported

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    3. Mary Price....
      I humbly admit--as an asthma sufferer--that I never knew that about fabric softener!! You just educated me!! ;)
      Love you later, Raelyn

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  11. Perhaps I have issues from being teased while growing up, but I say a resounding, "Yes" to public shaming. Regardless if those with disabilities are involved or not, peer pressure can do wonders. Though I agree that this man has mental issues that, perhaps, need chemical intervention.

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  12. Countering bullying with what kind of seems like bullying just doesn't seem most effective. I wondered about community service working with people who have disabilities (not that I want to make disability into a charity case EVER), because maybe it would open his eyes to the fact that we're all just human.

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  13. I think he needs a psych evaluation and probably a course of CBT. There is something deeply wrong with a man who sets out to harass another family regardless of whether they have special needs or not. Someone needs to teach him some guidelines about what is appropriate social behaviour and how to deal with his feelings when something bothers him. The fact that he targeted a wheelchair ramp shows an even deeper empathy fail. We all have tendencies to get mad with people, say if they get our space in a car park or they don't wave when we let them in to our lane. But I find that my righteous anger deflates when I see they have kids in the car, or some other flag that would indicate they have a lot on their mind. He missed a huge flag and actually targeted an adaptive device for someone with additional needs.

    He is undoubtedly an arsehole. But babies are not born this way, something in his upbringing or life experience damaged him. Hate often starts with fear. He needs counselling.

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  14. Ellen,
    I must say that I really enjoy your blog. My favorite post was the 50 ways special needs children are totally typical. I think that reminding people that just because a child has a disability, no matter what it may be, they are just like every other kid. I know personally growing up with a learning disability and ADHD, I was treated different from my fellow classmates. I was treated different by my peers who knew I wasn’t as “smart” as them. I was always being pulled out of class for extra tutoring, speech, and reading classes. Not only was I missing out on the lesson being taught, but the other kids noticed. I was also treated different by my teachers. I couldn’t keep up with the learning speed, and my ADHD made me act out in class and unable to focus. I am a firm believer that every kid should be able and “allowed” to feel “normal” just like every other kid. As a future professional in the school system this is something I would want to work on. Although, it’s impossible to have all kids act, behave, and think the same. I want to create a friendship group in the elementary schools to get kids to get to know other peers they may not talk or play with before. If we can get children to look at the person inside and not focus on looks, materialistic things, or differences one may have, we can start bridging the gap.
    As for the punishment post fitting the crime, I would love to say I was shock that someone would treat another individual in such a manner, let alone someone with disabilities. However, in today’s society it doesn’t surprise me that people would be so cruel to others that are different from themselves. I do not agree that making someone stand on a street corner holding a sign that belittles them is doing justice. He was supposed to receive a punishment for targeting an individual who happened to have a disability. That was supposed to be a lesson, but in reality it was just bulletining him, and showing others that humiliating others is acceptable. This is only going to keep the cycle going. I think the biggest lesson would have been having him volunteer with individuals with a type of disability. This way he could learn what these individuals go through and realize in the end that they are just like him and everyone else, they just have a different way doing things, functioning, learning, and thinking.

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Thanks for sharing!