Thursday, September 2, 2010

School bus insanity: the driver let my five-year-old off at the wrong stop



Well, Sabrina's first day of kindergarten started off just fine: she agreed to wear the outfit we'd chosen, she downed a whole bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast, we remembered to take her lunch out of the fridge, and she actually posed for photos without sticking out her tongue. Then all four of us drove to the bus stop. It never showed because, as it turns out, we waited on Park Street and the stop was on Park PLACE. So we drove her to school and I got to meet her teacher and classmates and see her cubby. It's so funny how kids are always so proud of their cubbies, as if they should come with a title and deed.


This is the first thing Sabrina got to do.

I get a call at work at around 4. "Hi, you don't know me, I'm a mom at your little girl's school," a woman says. She proceeds to tell me that Sabrina trailed her two girls off the bus. She noticed Sabrina standing there, looking perplexed. She realized nobody was there for Sabrina. That was because Sabrina was AT THE WRONG STOP. The bus driver had no clue where to take her. Sabrina forgot her address, but did remember her home phone. Except nobody was at home because Dave was at the bus stop. So they made a ton of calls and figured out Dave's cell. And they got her to the right stop. "So ignore the hysterical-sounding message on my voicemail at home," the mom said.

Whoa. Just, whoa.

I called the driver to figure out what had gone wrong. He kept rambling and when I finally said, "Could you try to just explain in one sentence?" he said, "It was my first day."

Which roughly translates to: Sorry, ma'am, I temporarily misplaced your little child on her first day of school but only because I was dazed and confused and that's actually not my fault because nobody told me that I had to know where all of the kids lived but no worries and the dog ate their homework.

Maybe I've been spoiled by just how cautious and careful drivers have been with Max. Maybe I am overreacting due to my own first-day jitters. But tomorrow, you can bet I will be calling the head of the bus company, and I hope it is not his first day, too.

Sabrina, meanwhile, couldn't be happier. "MOMMY! THE GUY ON THE BUS DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I LIVED! BUT NOW HE DOES!!!" she announced when I got home from work. She loves her teachers, she made some cool pictures, she saw a purple house when she was driving around on the bus.

"Did you write me a note for my lunchbox?" she asked, knowing full well that I had. "Yes! What did it say?" I asked. "It said 'Mommy loves Sabrina'" she told me. "Can you write me a note every day? Please?"

And just like that, I was calmer.

But I am still off to have a nice glass of wine.

39 comments:

  1. W... T... F...
    My eye just developed a twitch. I am speechless!
    Let me know if *I* need to write the company too!
    "It was my first day"?!?! That is NOT acceptable!

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  2. I am sure it will never happen again...but just in case, pin a note inside her backpack with contact info on it.

    When my youngest started preschool I was worried that something like that would happen to him too. I pinned a folded note card on his backpack. On the inside it said "my name is Clayton B. I ride bus 25 to school, and bus 35 home. If you have any question, please call my mom at 614-XXX-XXXX" He never got dropped at the wrong stop, but we did have a string of substitute drivers who had to call the office to get our address every afternoon ( for some reason we were not on the route sheet)

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  3. Oh my! You poor thing, I am sure that was not at all what you expected. Three cheers for the mom who helped Sabrina and that Sabrina remembered her address.

    I am off now to teach my kindergartener my cell phone number!

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  4. Oh.My.Hell!! That is insane. I cannot believe that the driver's excuse was "It's my first day". It's not like he's bagging groceries, he's in charge of little helpless kids!! Wow. The mom that got ahold of you was awesome. :)

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  5. You are not my first Facebook friend to post that her child was sent on the wrong bus. Enjoy your wine, but it could be worse! My friend called me hysterical that her son's first grade teacher "did not believe" that he had a peanut allergy. (He does and he refused the snack that she wanted him to eat.) This is at the same school he attended last year! The kicker was that she found out from her son; no one even called to ask her. WT????

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  6. Cristina's right. The driver's excuse is not acceptable!! After you call the bus company, call the school board who, most likely, is responsible for hiring the bus company itself.

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  7. Lawd. That's a helluva day.

    I don't want to *defend* the bus driver, but if Sabrina got off the stop with several other children, maybe the driver thought she was at the right stop. I did that to my bus driver once--got off all confident at my friend's house instead of my own and my mom freaked out when I wasn't at my usual place.

    It seems like maybe the bus system should be handled better--like small children should have tags that have their stop on it. Charlie wears a tag at school with his name, teacher's name, and transportation mode on it. Speaking of which, I think I forgot to put it on him all week. Luckily, his chair is fully labeled.

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  8. Oh man. You deserve the wine.

    The first time I let Graham take the bus they brought him to our former address. And even though I was talking to the ACTUAL BUSDRIVER on the phone, telling her to get her ass to the right house, she refused to move until she heard from her boss.

    I didn't let him get on a bus for a year after that.

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  9. That is so unacceptable. Unfortunately, stuff like this happens all the time. I personally know of probably four kids who this has happened to, including my own special needs child. His first day of special ed preschool the bus driver tried to deliver him to the wrong house. Thankfully those people refused to take him. Oy.

    Much sympathy to you. Glad the rest of the day went well. And good for your daughter for remembering her phone number.

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  10. Ok. I have just been going crazy because my kindergartner's classroom aide told him to shut up and then I read your story. Whoa! Something is very wrong with this picture.

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  11. I agree, UNACCEPTABLE, luckily everything turned out to be perfectly fine, some people in life were not as lucky. But now that we know Sabrina is safe I will crack a little joke. I think the letter you put in her lunchbox every day should not only say Mommy Loves you but should include your full address and telephone number.

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  12. Katy: Sabrina got off the bus stop, then stood there, alone. Until that other mom noticed her. So I am not sure what the bus driver was thinking.

    Sarah, great idea. And Janet, thx, needed that laugh!

    Clearly, bus mishaps are not that uncommon...not that I feel any better. I WILL, though, after I speak with the bus company tomorrow.

    Patty: I think that is WORSE than what happened with the driver. You need to talk with the principal!!! No matter what, it's completely and utterly wrong for an aide to tell any kid to shut up.

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  13. Ands that's why I will never ever let my kids ride the bus. Freaking scary!!!!

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  14. Personally I think many of the commentors are over reacting. The driver made an error that should not have been made, but you are overlooking the wonderful part that the community worked.

    Another adult stepped up took care of the situation and from your daughter's perspective she had a cool adventure.

    My school district has a fantastic system for the first week of school. Every child that rides the bus has a sticker put on him/her. It has their name and address on it. The drivers also have a list. We dismiss at 2:15 instead of 2;30 that week. The drivers check the kids against their list.

    It isn't fool proof. Stickers are printed for every child that lives on the route, even if they elect to use other transport. We have had older kids (4th and 5th grade) take "their" sticker off the teacher's desk and try to sneak on the bus.

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    1. Yeah I agree. Just because that happened doesnt mean you have to go crazy and never let your children ride the bus.

      When Abby goes to school, I will make a card which says Hi I'm Abby, I'm nonverbal. Please call my mama if there are any problems. My phone number and our address will be on the card.

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  15. That's awful. In our district, the bus drivers take special care with the kindergarteners since they have never been through this. Thank goodness Sabrina took it in stride and doesn't have a fear of riding the bus.

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  16. Ellen- I just started reading your blog the other night after I caught up with Dave and you. I love it and let's just say I'm hooked beacuse I never log on after I come home from work but I had to learn how Sabrina's first day of Kindergarten was. CRAZY DAY!! However, Sabrina doesn't seem too phased by it. Kids are so resilient...

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  17. GOOD LORD I cannot believe that even happened Ellen! That is nuts.

    Makes me feel a tad better about being totally OCD about insisting on driving the girls to school even though my 8-year-old really really wants to ride the busy.

    Hopefully you'll get some answers to this or maybe the bus driver will get reprimanded. So sorry! :(

    I'm sure she thought it was "cool," though.

    Our kindergartners have laminated signs that they wear around their neck with their info (car or bus rider) with their special number. It doesn't include address & home number (but if they get lost the school has that info along with their ID #.)

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  18. That should say ride the bus, not the busy...HA! ;)

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  19. I have a 3 year old who just started pre-school and Lizzy (who has special needs) is 16 months old... I don't know if you feel like this, but folks need to be EXTRA cautious with my kids, nothing else can happen... reminds me when Lizzy was being transported in the ambulance and the driver was texting, amid city traffic, with me in the front seat - OH I DON'T THINK SO! Good for you for calling his supervisor.

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  20. When you write to the head of the bus company you need to also send copies of that letter to the superintendent of schools and anyone in your town who was responsible for executing that bus contract. You want to put this in writing so they can't pretend it did not happen.

    I don't know if the bus driver should be "reprimanded." We don't know how it all went down. What is evident is that there's a bad training gap in how kids are accounted for on buses in your town and that needs to be fixed. Some training needs to happen, and soon, and some procedures to fix that kind of screwup need to be put in place.

    There's something to be said for being personally acquainted with your kids' busdriver. I see mine in the diner all the time and she knows right where we live, and where my folks live too.

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  21. How frightening. I am so glad that the other mother took control of the situation and didn't just assume that someone would be there for Sabrina. The worst part is thinking of the "what ifs"...they get me everytime!

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  22. I'm so glad it all worked out in the end. Enjoy the wine, lady!

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  23. I would be insanely cranky about that!!!! I only let Evan ride the bus now because they take them from the older kid's school to his school and back again, no stops along the way. I am just too paranoid even though he adores riding the bus.

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  24. Mikey was left at school by his taxi on his second day! Freaking out hardly comes close!

    Wine helps. We're in the throws of chicken pox, potty training, tiny baby, oh, and I broke my hand! Wine HELPS!

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  25. My heart froze when I read the title! Many decades ago when I was in kindergarten, a substitute bus driver forgot to drop me off at my stop and so waited over two hours to double back and bring me home. By that time, my mother had contacted the school, the police, and probably the National Guard. I still remember her running outside with tears streaming down her face as I happily ran up the steps. Looking back on it as a parent, I now understand how distraught she was and how unnerved you must have been yesterday. And poor Dave - he must have been worried sick when she didn't show up! Thank goodness the kind mother noticed Sabrina and stayed with her.
    The excuse that it was the driver's first day is complete and utter BS. If he still couldn't manage to deliver young, vulnerable children to the proper stops without losing a few along the way, he should have had a more experienced driver assist him until he got the hang of it. Good for you for not simply letting it go; I hope you give the head of the bus company an earful.
    I'm glad to hear that Sabrina's first day went well otherwise.

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  26. Yikes. I've heard that story in our neck of the woods too...Gabe was let off at a different stop one time and I about had a heart attack...but it wasn't the first day of kindergarten!! I'm glad it turned out just fine. And...I do lunch notes too and if you go to Hallmark they have some adorable ones for cheap...so you don't have to think too hard! ;)

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  27. On my first day of kindergarten I got on the WRONG BUS coming home. That was in 1993...I have no idea how they discovered where I lived. Then on the second day, the driver passed my house on the way home and I started to cry because I thought it was happening again :( The world is such a big place.

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  28. I'm sorry, but that is completely ridiculous. It was the " bus driver's first day'???? What about the fact that it was your FIVE YEAR OLD's first day??? Was she supposed to be the responsible one here? If I were you, I would be raising holy hell today.

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  29. Oh that is crazy! I am so glad that other mom stepped in and handled the situation. So scary!

    My daughter starts preschool in October. I cannot bring myself to let her ride the bus. My husband thinks I am babying her. She is 3!!! She is nonverbal, nonmobile and did I mention she is 3? Anyway, this just confirms for me that I made the right decision to drive her to school. I have not ruled out the bus forever and ever, but for now, I have.

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  30. The mailman has a first day excuse? Okay. The newspaper man? Okay. But bus driver with little kids? First day is no excuse. That calls for hard liquor, my dear.

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  31. I truly hope this does NOT happen again...and that was no excuse. this happened to me on my younger years...I was dropped in a different school, while my parents waited for me in the school i was daily brought to. I didn't know my address or my phone mumber..But thank God my mother had written all that information on my notebooks :)
    This was on my younger years and I still remember this now...

    And from there on...I'm happy you're daughter had a great time! and it was so cute where she asks you to write more notes..Aww love it!

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  32. Oh my gosh. That happened to us this year too - with my 6 year old! He had never taken the bus before and I told everyone that they needed to help him get off at the right stop. But, no one was paying attention and he got off with some friends about a mile down the road. He sat by the side of the road for about 10 minutes before the bus came back for him (after they got to our stop and I freaked out because he wasn't on the bus). My poor little guy. He was really shaken but bravely tried again the next day and now gets off at the right stop like a champ. I, however, may never recover from the experience.

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  33. OMFG. You know I worry sometimes that I will spend so much time making sure my special needs kiddo gets where they need to be and is taken care of that I kind of forget to worry about what happens with my other two! I've had things like this happen to us already too!

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  34. I hope you had 2 glasses...can't wait to hear about day 2!

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  35. Oh my goodness. We have had morning calls from the bus company to check is my daughter going to school since there was no answer at our house. They just can't seem to understand the concept of only taking the bus home. Last time I yelled at them. They don't seem to think it's a big deal but I think if you don't have an accurate list on the bus then there is a problem. Their excuse was that it was the drivers first day.

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  36. Um, yes, that is terrible. Small child left alone? Bad.

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  37. I don't know if you'll find this reassuring or not, but sometimes kids do it to themselves. Just yesterday, my older daughter who is 12 frantically called us as she and two of her friends boarded the wrong commuter train to get home from school... Grandparents to the rescue and more than three hours late, the girls all got home.

    The good news is that your daughter will remember this as an adventure; and so will you...

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  38. wow how great
    ounce i was let off at the wrong stop too i was on the wrong bus in kindergarden the teacher did not pay attention to the Goes to day care note on my tag so she put me on the bus that took me to my house across town while my babysitter freaked out.meanwhile i sat on the curb for 40 minutes until the mailman saw me called 911 and the police who i was scared of(too loud) took me to daycare.

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Thanks for sharing!