tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post7981898564089552618..comments2024-03-28T03:35:52.176-04:00Comments on Love That Max : Special needs parenting rule no. 1: Control yourself first, your child secondEllen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-74374995248640811882012-03-29T19:11:34.833-04:002012-03-29T19:11:34.833-04:00I audibly cheered when I read this post! A fancy w...I audibly cheered when I read this post! A fancy word for what you modeled for Max is "self regulation". Your method of choice was going to your "happy place" of cupcakes. But it began with your decision to choose option "B". The headphones worked great for Max today. And as he grows, he can learn a whole repertoire of self regulation strategies from which he can choose in different situations. <br /><br />For now - he's blessed to have a Mom who chooses to be present and calm as he copes with the stress of new experiences and finds out (like Mikey on the Life cereal commercial) that hey - he likes it!<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your experience with all of us. I spent the day teaching 60 teachers about how to teach self regulation skills. Next time I run that session - I may use your experience as an example.<br /><br />You and Max influence more people than you'll ever know. Thanks for sharing this delightful victory!Mary@LifeAfterIEPshttp://lifeafterieps.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-21014605683407785552012-03-29T15:59:10.163-04:002012-03-29T15:59:10.163-04:00Yay Max you sat through the whole play and yay Ell...Yay Max you sat through the whole play and yay Ellen you didn't freak out too much LOL :)Nishahttp://nisha360.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-43205943792729279042012-03-28T23:24:44.917-04:002012-03-28T23:24:44.917-04:00Love. it.
Not only because I struggled with bein...Love. it. <br /><br />Not only because I struggled with being anxious about my little boys' anxiety, too, but also because Max did it!! Yay!!!! :)ChildTalkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08288487055622728428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-26262148838686522862012-03-28T20:34:08.694-04:002012-03-28T20:34:08.694-04:00So happy for you guys!! Victories like that are h...So happy for you guys!! Victories like that are huge!!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07560423943596525540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-91800870939299420532012-03-28T14:12:33.014-04:002012-03-28T14:12:33.014-04:00Yep, headphones--don't ever leave home without...Yep, headphones--don't ever leave home without 'em! SERIOUSLY. If you have to find a place in your oversized bag for them, do it. Also, the "calm to the core" approach works if you force yourself to do it. Kids aren't stupid, they key off us and they are more perceptive than we give them credit for. They can tell when we are stressed even when we are faking it, so the thing to do is go calm all the way to your center.Felicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-18765098322236801052012-03-27T22:52:10.739-04:002012-03-27T22:52:10.739-04:00Awesome. Isn't it great when our kiddos pull ...Awesome. Isn't it great when our kiddos pull out a performance like that? Way to go Max and Mom. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-13696307864164745622012-03-27T22:22:32.908-04:002012-03-27T22:22:32.908-04:00That is soooo amazing!!! Go Max and go Ellen!That is soooo amazing!!! Go Max and go Ellen!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-46729172288672551642012-03-27T21:49:49.222-04:002012-03-27T21:49:49.222-04:00That was great. I'm happy for Max :-)That was great. I'm happy for Max :-)Maricris @ SittingAroundhttp://sittingaround.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-91648341132106411902012-03-27T19:06:59.796-04:002012-03-27T19:06:59.796-04:00Way to go Max! I'm proud of you - and mommy to...Way to go Max! I'm proud of you - and mommy too! :)Sabrina Steylinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10502908654294596013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-40478611924904524732012-03-27T16:31:21.440-04:002012-03-27T16:31:21.440-04:00Kudos to you for trying to give Max different and ...Kudos to you for trying to give Max different and wonderful experiences even though it might be difficult sometimes and persisting in doing so. As you said very well, the huge smile at the end and the happy dance inside the heart are well worth it :)<br />Erica L.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-22471158215885195412012-03-27T12:45:10.852-04:002012-03-27T12:45:10.852-04:00Bravo for you both (and for Max's wonderful te...Bravo for you both (and for Max's wonderful teacher)! So glad it was a resounding success.Vardahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13542045802860922751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-66669036108251381502012-03-27T11:55:45.109-04:002012-03-27T11:55:45.109-04:00yay! even before the happy ending i was cheering f...yay! even before the happy ending i was cheering for your inner victory, but i'm so glad that max sat through the entire thing, too!joee_thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00581554428626291320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-26797197678190408052012-03-27T11:20:25.004-04:002012-03-27T11:20:25.004-04:00That's awesome! I'm glad he enjoyed the s...That's awesome! I'm glad he enjoyed the show. And I must confess that I've put my son's noise cancelling headphones on a time or two while he's throwing a fit ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-78091957184042224302012-03-27T10:10:58.090-04:002012-03-27T10:10:58.090-04:00That's just wonderful, Ellen! And you're ...That's just wonderful, Ellen! And you're so right about the lesson learned.Galenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133622477462629829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-76685057265186884622012-03-27T09:30:39.928-04:002012-03-27T09:30:39.928-04:00"Happy dance inside my heart" Love it!"Happy dance inside my heart" Love it!Janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13875633588025383950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-54382061530347492662012-03-27T09:19:32.025-04:002012-03-27T09:19:32.025-04:00Absolutely tearing up reading this!
This was even...Absolutely tearing up reading this!<br /><br />This was even better than lemon cupcakes!!!:)Although now I'm craving them.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10792117187001612101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-37556465158864927302012-03-27T09:18:59.776-04:002012-03-27T09:18:59.776-04:00Ellen, I love this post. It took me back to when m...Ellen, I love this post. It took me back to when my son was that age. He was phobic about many things, including haircuts. We took him to see the Paperbag Players perform on stage, and he was just holding it together until they did a skit called "The Terrible No Good Very Bad Haircut." My son stood up and shrieked, "NOOOO! NO HAIRCUT!" Every head in the theater swiveled our way. I might have handled it better if I'd had your buttercream cupcakes and head phones on hand!Liane Kupferberg Carterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07832590335988875870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-64375731305076202912012-03-27T08:38:18.490-04:002012-03-27T08:38:18.490-04:00Mmmm, lemon cupcakes...
Yay to both of you.Mmmm, lemon cupcakes...<br /><br />Yay to both of you.Gina @ Inky Ed!http://inkyed.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-3228922545792961772012-03-27T07:55:06.873-04:002012-03-27T07:55:06.873-04:00Wonderful!
I always love the Max stories because ...Wonderful!<br /><br />I always love the Max stories because our boys are the same age. They are similar yet different (heck my son has autism!). <br /><br />However - no one is expected to be a perfect parent! (50 lashes with a soggy noodle for thinking such!) As parents in general, and as special needs parents in particular, we each have our own strengths and weaknesses. It takes a community.Janetnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-63655027855338631952012-03-27T07:48:37.332-04:002012-03-27T07:48:37.332-04:00Oh Ellen, this was so great it put tears in my eye...Oh Ellen, this was so great it put tears in my eyes! You know, the the amount of things that are more similar than different in ALL children should remind people that special needs kids are first and foremost KIDS. <br />Luca is 4, and for some reason that seems to be a really, reaally, REALLY, bad year for my kids' meltdown threshold. Mia has passed that phase so it gives me hope for Luca, but his meltdowns are so epic that checkout ladies at stores I've only been to once still remember him months later. And I've recently begun doing exactly what your wonderful post illustrated; keeping myself in check first so that I can give him a calm base to mirror. Sort of like that airplane disaster thing where you're supposed to put on your own oxygen mask first and then your child's. I guess as mom's we become so adept and used to always focusing on our children before ourselves that we forget that sometimes the very best way to help and take care of them is to be ok ourselves (<:Cat Perrynoreply@blogger.com