tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post6973226116387115269..comments2024-03-28T03:35:52.176-04:00Comments on Love That Max : Special needs parenting: When your kid bugs peopleEllen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-50447391699350555602013-02-14T20:06:31.290-05:002013-02-14T20:06:31.290-05:00Every girl does.Every girl does.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16576844684725684941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-51861671419151568562012-04-03T19:57:59.897-04:002012-04-03T19:57:59.897-04:00to everyone claiming that seatkicking should be ig...to everyone claiming that seatkicking should be ignored because a child has special needs: Would you allow your child to kick the person in front of him? No (at least you had better not!)- so why is it ok to kick the seat? The person is still feeling the kick - as witnessed by ellen stating that the entire row in front of them was having to deal with it because her son was kicking so hard. It is NOT ok. <br /><br />ellen: perhaps if you'd stop allowing max to kick the seat in front of him in your car, he wouldn't feel it's ok to do it in an airplane. You're allowing him to kick in the car then saying no to the airplane but to him it's the same motion of kicking the seat in front of him and his sense of entitlement. <br /><br />Teach your childern, regardless of their abilities, the basic human courtesy of NOT kicking a seat, person, or anything else that may be in front of him other than a ball.Donna in Little Rock, ARnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-32646589072243729872012-01-01T03:54:39.558-05:002012-01-01T03:54:39.558-05:00What you did was fine. The only time I get upset w...What you did was fine. The only time I get upset while travelling is when a parent does nothing to try to fix the child's behavior. I try my hardest to be considerate of special needs and age when I fly. (After all, sometimes after mommy tries, a 2 year old just won't stop kicking.)<br /><br />What you did was fine. I agree though; it may be easiest to have one parent sit in front of him or to try to get bulkhead seats. <br /><br />And ignore the ignorant comments. CP isn't mental retardation and even so, that's not a good usage for "retarded". You are a wonderful mother.Byrdihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18165739472785752139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-42275544982019697292011-04-25T22:51:14.808-04:002011-04-25T22:51:14.808-04:00Ellen, thanks for sharing your flight experience! ...Ellen, thanks for sharing your flight experience! My son has autism and our primary mass disruption is chirping...maybe I'll bring earplugs for the entire plane cuz I'm not sure that even WestJet has soundproof force fields around each seat yet! :-) <br /><br />Your post has encouraged me, sometimes it's just helpful to know that my kid isn't the only one that seems impossible to distract in just that stressful moment! <br /><br />Kudos to the person in front of you who thought to pass back the paper and pen!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-25475354617462043682011-04-06T14:08:12.529-04:002011-04-06T14:08:12.529-04:00If Max can't really help it, I would let the p...If Max can't really help it, I would let the people in front of him know that and express your apprecitiation for their understanding. If Max is capable of not kicking, then it is wrong to let him. Period. I believe that we must allow those with disabilities to be fully integrated in society, and if those disablities cause us inconvenience or momentary discomfort that is the acceptable price we pay for inclusion. BUT if this has nothing to do with his disablity, then it is very inconsiderate of others to allow it. It has nothing to do with being "laid back." That's fine when he is kicking Dave. It's about rudeness though when he ignores Max kicking others (again, only if this is something that Max can indeed control).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-73122459088095211752011-04-02T08:33:28.766-04:002011-04-02T08:33:28.766-04:00Did anybody here say it was fair? Did you read the...Did anybody here say it was fair? Did you read the entire post? What if a child has special needs and can't help the kicking? Dave's reaction was also quintessentially Dave, he is a very laid back guy. Shame on you for coming to this blog and leaving an obnoxious anonymous comment.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-87618571764805285212011-04-01T10:58:35.056-04:002011-04-01T10:58:35.056-04:00Teri had the considerate answer - let the parent s...Teri had the considerate answer - let the parent sit in the seat in front of the child. It's not fair by any stretch of the imagination to expect a stranger to tolerate kicking, no matter if it's involuntary or not.<br /><br />And actually, Dave's indifferent shrug was more offensive than Max's kicking. Shame on him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-58789241074875727522011-04-01T03:38:56.261-04:002011-04-01T03:38:56.261-04:00We have stopped taking 12 on any public transport....We have stopped taking 12 on any public transport. It just became too difficult. I know you probably don't want to here it but I really admire how you keep doing all the usual things.<br /><br />In some ways it isn't any different to taking any other kid on a trip, they can all act up if they are bored and when they know your options to deal with their actions are limited.Penblethhttp://penbleth.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-45530355893412783532011-03-31T14:40:55.863-04:002011-03-31T14:40:55.863-04:00This is for MAYA--I have flown SW and they let par...This is for MAYA--I have flown SW and they let parents/kids board ahead of everyone else. Otherwise, it's Group A, B and C, depending on how early you showed up at the airport. If you call them ahead of time and tell them about your situation, you can probably arrange to get the seats in the front without too much trouble--that's what I did and good thing, too, as my little monsters are poor travellers and one in particular was having melt-down issues during that timeframe. I do find that tiring 'em out before the flight helps, especially if they're the type kid that will sleep in a moving vehicle or away from home with no issues.Felicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-72537490344609500432011-03-31T14:05:27.756-04:002011-03-31T14:05:27.756-04:00We have the kicking the seat problem too, only my ...We have the kicking the seat problem too, only my daughter doesn't do it on purpose. She has some stimming behavior involving kicking her leg (and happens mostly when she's enjoying herself, so the "distractions" actually cause the kicking). It's hard to get her to stop something she isn't even aware that she's doing. I also agree with Taz about picking your battles: a meltdown over the kicking would be worse than the kicking. Luckily the only time it seemed to bother the person in front of us he had an empty seat next to him, so I just switched places with my daughter.KarenPhttp://thingsfromscratch.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-69686864997908408652011-03-31T12:33:30.759-04:002011-03-31T12:33:30.759-04:00Flying with any kid can be hard work, they get bor...Flying with any kid can be hard work, they get bored, the adults are bored. Everybody is trapped. But in the great scheme of things it doesn't last too long.<br /><br />That's what my mantra will be later this year when we fly to BulgariaTarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03927040104815138098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-81157186645634483422011-03-31T11:36:42.069-04:002011-03-31T11:36:42.069-04:00I think you did the right thing. As a traveler and...I think you did the right thing. As a traveler and parent to a kiddo with special needs, I can tolerate a lot of things during a flight if I know the parent is aware of what's going on and trying to manage it, like you were. Ultimately kids are going to do what they're going to do, special needs or not, but I appreciate it when the parent appreciates that it may be affecting other people.<br /><br />I'm also nervous about how my son is going to do on our upcoming flight. He has autism and hasn't flown since he was diagnosed a year ago, and that was before he'd developed a lot of his behavioral and sensory issues. My husband will be flying with us, but he's taking a diff. flight home so it will be just me and my 2 kids on the way back...I'm already shaking in my boots! I like the bulkhead suggestion and I think I'll request it. On the plus side, that also puts us closer to the changing tables, which seem to only be in the front of the plane bathroom.<br /><br />Has anyone flown SouthWest with a child who doesn't have visible SN? Since it's a choose your own seat plane, would they let you request the bulkhead seats?Mayahttp://marfmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-84831955431683115932011-03-31T09:59:18.862-04:002011-03-31T09:59:18.862-04:00My (NT) son used to do this INCESSENTLY. He’d als...My (NT) son used to do this INCESSENTLY. He’d also shriek and wail and generally make himself unpleasant to be around. EVERY FLIGHT. TAKE OFF TO TOUCH DOWN. The bulging bag of snacks & distractions were not match for the cruelty of expecting him to remain in one spot for more than 2 minutes. We actually stopped traveling for a while – though he’s older now & my girl can’t yet reach the seat backs so the adventures resumed. <br /><br />We had a speech, offered to the poor folks in front of us: He’s a kicker. He may fall asleep after we take off (never happened). If he doesn’t we can buy you a drink or my husband (!) will switch seats with you. No one ever took us up on the offer, but I stopped feeling bad because the offer was out there. <br /><br />The only time I DIDN’T make the offer: We’d barely made the plane – hot from running thru the terminal, no make up, no hairbrush. Standard frazzled mom. The snotty sorority girl in front of us actually turned around & was glaring at us & my shrieking boy before we even got the car seat strapped in. Her cuteness sent me over the edge – “You might as well turn back around because staring isn’t going to change anything”. (She did). I hope she was hungover and aspirin-less during that flight. <br /><br />Also, I've wanted to tell you that I just finished reading all your archives and believe you're simply fabulous, and your kids adorable, but then your dad passed away and fan mail didn't seem appropriate - I'm so sorry for your loss. But you are fabulous!krlrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14392064691347464660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-23220996909469286972011-03-31T09:58:07.153-04:002011-03-31T09:58:07.153-04:00What a blessing that the woman in front of him did...What a blessing that the woman in front of him didn't complain or make a rude comment, but instead realized that a distraction was in order and offered him one!Jasminehttp://countitalljs.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-39704975765875674962011-03-31T09:57:33.618-04:002011-03-31T09:57:33.618-04:00I don't know how we could fly with our daughte...I don't know how we could fly with our daughter. I think once we got her in the plane she would be okay, she makes a low growling noise (we think of it as purring), but she can be so strong willed and anything that doesn't make sense to her she will not do. I can't imagine convincing her to remove her shoes for security.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03223649727840302881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-86076847297103062682011-03-31T09:38:34.946-04:002011-03-31T09:38:34.946-04:00I've always maintained that Button's autis...I've always maintained that Button's autism is an expalnation for his behaviour - not an excuse, so we try our hardest to teach him appropraite behaviour when we're out and about. Personally, I'd rather a bit of seat kicking than a full blown meltdown because we told him to stop!!! Pick your battles!Tazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04095213147043472257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-57749824115623844242011-03-31T09:27:49.693-04:002011-03-31T09:27:49.693-04:00Adam doesn't kick seats but will not be quiet ...Adam doesn't kick seats but will not be quiet and wants everything other people have... Most people try to talk with him but figure out that he doesn't understand them and they don't understand him.... They try ignoring him at first but he keeps on until they are frustrated... None of my distractions work unfortunatelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-18277331983079086112011-03-31T09:18:27.218-04:002011-03-31T09:18:27.218-04:00Thank you for posting this blog and for expressing...Thank you for posting this blog and for expressing how your child's behavior is important to you. I can only imagine as a parent the daily struggles of raising a child with special needs, yet it's reassuring that not all parents in that situation use it as an excuse for disruptive behavior. I think your approach is absolutely correct, I am sure you and your husband will look back on this experience as a lesson learned. I also hope your post reminds other parents of SN children that it's not okay to use their child's condition as an excuse to not be a responsible parent.danaCreativehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07808232310564681729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-1687427218770640462011-03-31T09:09:49.579-04:002011-03-31T09:09:49.579-04:00Even with lots of toys/games for distracting, E do...Even with lots of toys/games for distracting, E does the seat-kicking thing and it's mortifying. The last time we flew, I ended up with bruises all over my arms trying to get him to stop (I took the blows instead of the seat back...fun times).Julia O'Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16330856629856439993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-29776654773201514382011-03-31T08:21:11.006-04:002011-03-31T08:21:11.006-04:00That is so tough. I've never flown with Olivia...That is so tough. I've never flown with Olivia...but obviously have had upsetting behavior in public! I get upset...at the other people and myself. Olivia screams when she's excited...not always the greatest behavior!Tiffanyhttp://www.elastamom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-71419095041764665982011-03-31T03:57:05.045-04:002011-03-31T03:57:05.045-04:00Try booking the front row by the bulkhead if you c...Try booking the front row by the bulkhead if you can pick your seat. You have to deal with those stupid trays but there's no one in front of you to get kicked.<br /><br />Other than that your only resources are lotsa toys/distractions and pre-flight exhaustion so they sleep the whole way.Felicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-23452717936740240232011-03-31T02:20:38.731-04:002011-03-31T02:20:38.731-04:00I agree with what you put about him needing to be ...I agree with what you put about him needing to be treated like any other kid. But folk need tolerance too.<br />[Before Ashley came along I think I was quite intolerant of disabled kids especially when it came to noise - their screeches really annoyed me.]<br />Apart from the occasional hissy fit in town Ashley is usually in Charm Mode but I have NO idea how he'd be on a flight or a long coach trip.dderbydavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07448901859808979140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-34245638541534545552011-03-30T23:31:03.629-04:002011-03-30T23:31:03.629-04:00We had the exact same thing happen with my daughte...We had the exact same thing happen with my daughter on a flight to Vancouver - and sitting in front of us was a flight attendant, as well as the CEO of Westjet! I forewarned her that my daughter has special needs, and is a seat kicker, and she lasted about two minutes. She moved seats. She told us that if we call ahead and explain the situation, they would give us the bulkhead for sure. I said that I wouldn't want to take that spot away from a family that would truly need it - she said, "Trust me. You need it."gillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10950392588016508837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-69781373939713034632011-03-30T23:10:19.343-04:002011-03-30T23:10:19.343-04:00A friend once suggested for long flights that I go...A friend once suggested for long flights that I go to the dollar store, wrap up 10 small presents, and disperse them throughout the flight. <br /><br />I have rowdy toddler twins, and it does work. That, and lots of snacks.Jjiraffehttp://jjiraffe.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-15751380566983846272011-03-30T22:09:56.601-04:002011-03-30T22:09:56.601-04:00I dont fly a lot. But I book travel for frequent ...I dont fly a lot. But I book travel for frequent travelers (who mostly end up in first class due to their upgrades and status). The last flight I took it was just a twitcher. And as someone who has spasms (and wouldnt sleep anyway) nothing bothers me really.<br /><br />Can I say something that bothers me today regarding children with disabelities? I cant tweet or blog because I would be identified immediately by my Company.<br /><br />Pardon my spelling. I know I did something wrong but have no spell check.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08087323964849168183noreply@blogger.com