tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post3394685055560007373..comments2024-03-28T03:35:52.176-04:00Comments on Love That Max : Do you, they say—but is that always OK?Ellen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-68648282335561359462016-07-08T12:31:11.321-04:002016-07-08T12:31:11.321-04:00I will find an empty stroller and push side by sid...I will find an empty stroller and push side by side with max just for fun. I think it's so beautiful when Max is innocence and so carefree. He just enjoy the simple things in life which I wish I can be more like that.<br />I think we always want to fit in and do things alike but why do we have to? Especially Max has all the obstacle that he went through and he is doing so well, he should not have to change to adapt to the norm. He is the norm since everyone is different in their own way. Max is gifted and I want to be more like him. Every time I read about Max I smile. He is so cool. Tnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11341870571930361590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-6790392239891623342016-07-07T19:28:27.285-04:002016-07-07T19:28:27.285-04:00The author of the book has a son with autism and o...The author of the book has a son with autism and one of her other books RULES is about autism from the perspective of a 10 or 11 year old girl whose younger brother has it. I highly recommend Sabrina reads it, it's very good and quite funny. Plus a character uses AAC and it's cool to recognize how far the technology has come. Kathrynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-53758682352918371932016-07-07T18:35:46.495-04:002016-07-07T18:35:46.495-04:00Yes. Two I immediately saw were golf balls and new...Yes. Two I immediately saw were golf balls and newspapers.<br /><br />Another one could be wood and firelighters, especially in the winter and with a permit/licence. And if his neighbours were to have a bonfire party...Adelaide Duponthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01490123934889071074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-60193776501485271142016-07-07T18:34:49.401-04:002016-07-07T18:34:49.401-04:00Exactly! We confuse "target and topic" -...Exactly! We confuse "target and topic" - one good thing I learnt from Gray's immersion into the bullying literature.Adelaide Duponthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01490123934889071074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-63736201539865286972016-07-07T18:19:11.541-04:002016-07-07T18:19:11.541-04:00You just said so much better what I was trying to ...You just said so much better what I was trying to say earlier. YES.TChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09490117693253485044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-21475773831660544752016-07-07T14:22:25.278-04:002016-07-07T14:22:25.278-04:00Hi Ellen! I know someone whose daughter likes to p...Hi Ellen! I know someone whose daughter likes to push a stroller too. She fills it with heavy things so it's like getting an OT session at the same time! Also, I see potential business opportunity here - Deliveries by Max! VictoriaBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05339640543284945752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-48694357062296651342016-07-07T07:19:41.387-04:002016-07-07T07:19:41.387-04:00I grew up as an undiagnosed autistic kid who didn&...I grew up as an undiagnosed autistic kid who didn't have friends (and who was constantly teased and ridiculed by other kids for years.) More than once, adults in my life thought that the problem was my Sesame Street lunch box, the old-fashioned clothes I insisted on wearing or some other external thing. My seventh grade teacher called up my mother and asked why she couldn't get me to dress like the other girls. She wanted to help me fit in.<br /><br />The thing is, the things I did that were different were not the cause of my social problems. They were a symptom of it. Removing those things was not going to fix the problem and I wasn't going to fit in with a bunch of kids who cared about what other people wore, even if I was no longer wearing it. Rather, it would just create a bullied child who was ALSO miserable about what she was wearing. What would have helped - which nobody ever did - was to tell the other kids that I was allowed to like/wear what I wanted and to leave me alone. Eventually I made friends who liked me for who I was and they were well worth waiting for. (Largely they were people with their own differences, including a bunch of other disabled folks, my real peer group.)Nightengalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01750985645821551827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-77871621705493291202016-07-07T06:28:38.567-04:002016-07-07T06:28:38.567-04:00I am sure many kids are capable of seeing passed M...I am sure many kids are capable of seeing passed Max's disabilities and appreciate him for the great person he is, but this does not necessarily translate into be willing to make friends with him. Friendship is about commonalities: don't we all look for friends who share our views, values, hobbies? We may appreciate many people, but won't invite them to dinner because we don't have much in common. Teens are not patient: why would the kids in your neighborhood want to spend time with a child who acts and behaves as a young kid? I have learned to fully respect that. My husband and I, after all, don't have any adult friends with intellectual disabilities. We have learned that typical kids who are willing to spend time with Tim do it out of a charitable attitude, not out of friendship: because they are religious, or just because they feel a moral duty to help those who are more vulnerable. I appreciate the attitude, but won't call it friendship. Of course as family members we see things so differently, but family and friendship are not the same thing. Your child seems happy and well adjusted. Who cares if his image is not that of a typical teen. He is loved, happy, and developing to his fullest potential. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-45578783336354854542016-07-07T05:41:43.979-04:002016-07-07T05:41:43.979-04:00I loved this post. As a mum to a little boy who i...I loved this post. As a mum to a little boy who is 4 with CP - reading about Max and his adventures enlightens me to possibly what we may be dealing with also along this road -when he is older. As yes, when they are younger you can get away with it being 'cute' but what happens when they are a older?! I think you are in every right to question it as that is what us mum's do. We love to beat ourselves up! You know in your heart that Max is happy but you worry for him, and that is what us good mum's do. You are such a great mum with what you are doing. Be kind to yourself. He is happy and you are all alive and well - that is all that matters xxKellyhttp://www.10feettall.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-54339308689194988912016-07-07T02:47:27.094-04:002016-07-07T02:47:27.094-04:00Can he push Ben in his stroller instead?Can he push Ben in his stroller instead?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-60997111488240664262016-07-07T01:09:10.128-04:002016-07-07T01:09:10.128-04:00Ellen....
When I was a kid growing up {older that ...Ellen....<br />When I was a kid growing up {older that Max is, if memory serves me right} I had a white-colored boat bumper that an old family friend found on one of our camping trips. Well.... Because I wanted a canine so badly, {but I could not have one yet} I decided that he was a dog, a miniature Dachshund!! We named him Bob!! I even came up with a sad, somewhat tragic story about him.... Bob's fur was painted white. He had been abused and used as a boat bumper. So we rescued him!! I walked Bob around our city neighborhood for everybody to see.... Including kids who already thought of me as a freak, who already saw me as being different, who already knew that I was anything but "normal".... Kids who already laughed at and made fun of me. But I did not care!! Image? What image? I loved Bob the miniature Dachshund.... ;-D<br />Well, I need to go. It is getting late and yet EVEN MORE post-Independence Day bottle rockets have gone off. I need to comfort my poor, noise phobic mutt, "Rosalita", my real dog!! I. Am. Getting. Tired. Of. Fireworks.... ;)<br />"Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn<br /> <br /> <br />Mary Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01005199691237610718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-63472397254388780922016-07-07T00:42:43.544-04:002016-07-07T00:42:43.544-04:00Anna....
"Don't burden him with the fear ...Anna....<br />"Don't burden him with the fear of not being good enough as I have done to myself." You know what? I absolutely agree with Ellen!! You are much too hard on yourself!! "Not good enough"? Nah.... You are good enough, Friend!! Like Ellen expressed, try to show yourself more appreciation!! You are Beautifully Unique, fearfully and wonderfully made, God has plans for your Life, for your presence, for your future!! ;)<br />"Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn<br /> <br />Mary Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01005199691237610718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-17364791500288131522016-07-06T23:05:56.912-04:002016-07-06T23:05:56.912-04:00I feel the same about my ten year old wheeling her...I feel the same about my ten year old wheeling her dolls around the block or shopping centreJayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16582185250526797407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-58884786316682556622016-07-06T23:00:25.930-04:002016-07-06T23:00:25.930-04:00I thought of stability and keeping Max upright.I thought of stability and keeping Max upright.Adelaide Duponthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01490123934889071074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-56931141639555609402016-07-06T22:18:43.463-04:002016-07-06T22:18:43.463-04:00We have yet to encounter another empty-stroller pu...We have yet to encounter another empty-stroller pusher! He he. But points definitely taken. The stroller stays!Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-69207325104051090362016-07-06T22:17:07.449-04:002016-07-06T22:17:07.449-04:00Anna, you are too hard on yourself. Try to show yo...Anna, you are too hard on yourself. Try to show yourself more appreciation.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-53919274657811103502016-07-06T22:16:12.399-04:002016-07-06T22:16:12.399-04:00I'm coming around to letting him keep it, for ...I'm coming around to letting him keep it, for now. He still does sit in it on occasion. At some point, I'd love to pass it along to another child in need. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-74987992901721880882016-07-06T22:14:51.991-04:002016-07-06T22:14:51.991-04:00That is an outstanding quote! That is an outstanding quote! Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-31574964933257825602016-07-06T22:13:45.661-04:002016-07-06T22:13:45.661-04:00Someone on Facebook also mentioned that the walker...Someone on Facebook also mentioned that the walker may provide stability, which I hadn't considered but is a distinct possibility. Thank you so much for the encouraging words. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-61057843117942080362016-07-06T22:11:51.819-04:002016-07-06T22:11:51.819-04:00I know. I know. I guess I've overly fixated on...I know. I know. I guess I've overly fixated on him wheeling around an empty stroller because I yearn for him to have friends in our neighborhood, although Max doesn't seemingly mind or care. The truth, as others have noted here and on the blog Facebook page, is that even if he didn't wheel the stroller around, he still wouldn't easily fit in with the other kids. I'm still coming to terms with that. Obviously. In the end, yes, what matters most is Max's happiness, and not any ideas of happiness (having friends) that I project onto him. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-90372048301167625272016-07-06T16:34:42.593-04:002016-07-06T16:34:42.593-04:00Why mess with an activity that he enjoys? Exactly....Why mess with an activity that he enjoys? Exactly. Don't. Not wheeling the stroller will not make him suddenly more mature in other ways and/or more attractive to the neighborhood kids. It's why I don't push my 15 year old to give up his Nerf guns. It's not like NOT playing with Nerf will make him interested in whatever the heck it is 15 year olds are 'supposed' to like. It would just be taking away his favorite toys...and he'd STILL be on his own around peers. Also, the Nerf (or the stroller or the whatever it is some other kids loves) give him an opportunity to start conversations with another kid who feels the same. Sure, it may not be an age mate. Sure, it may not be many kids. But they're out there, the kids who like things that are 'younger' than they are. We're not going to change our kids to be other than who they are, props or no props.<br /><br />I know you know this. You've said to yourself, both up there, and time and time again in the past. You've got this.TChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09490117693253485044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-45357081727314642402016-07-06T13:57:00.343-04:002016-07-06T13:57:00.343-04:00Let Max do it. Don't burden him with the fear ...Let Max do it. Don't burden him with the fear of not being good enough as I have done to myself.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10616282351291824392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-45179333349177308802016-07-06T12:44:10.577-04:002016-07-06T12:44:10.577-04:00Speaking as a mom whose teenager loves Elmo, I don...Speaking as a mom whose teenager loves Elmo, I don't think the stroller is going to widen the chasm between your son and other kids, just getting older is what will do it. I think when our kids are younger, their being stuck on things that are a little below age level doesn't seem like a big deal. But when they move into being teens and interests change that's when the chasm gets even wider. So if the stroller makes him feel more secure I don't see it as a problem, but that's just my opinion!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-59523627080519744552016-07-06T12:01:35.693-04:002016-07-06T12:01:35.693-04:00If it really concerns you, suggest to Max that ano...If it really concerns you, suggest to Max that another child might benefit from the stroller and allow him to drop off the donation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-78759765141868307132016-07-06T10:26:22.321-04:002016-07-06T10:26:22.321-04:00If Max seems happy pushing the stroller, let him. ...If Max seems happy pushing the stroller, let him. He either doesn't care what people think or is unaware. Do you, Max. I am reminded of a quote from Touch Blue by Cynthia Lord "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Kathrynnoreply@blogger.com