tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post2396895590591708168..comments2024-03-28T03:35:52.176-04:00Comments on Love That Max : How did you decide on having another kid? Ellen Seidmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-63223319873550433482018-09-04T11:57:48.792-04:002018-09-04T11:57:48.792-04:00Did you decide to have one? Your story sounds just...Did you decide to have one? Your story sounds just like mine, my son is also 4 and we want to try again. Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02915960132428493052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-44395351228682547952017-10-29T17:16:43.466-04:002017-10-29T17:16:43.466-04:00I have a 4 year old with autism. I was planning on...I have a 4 year old with autism. I was planning on having another when he was 2 so they would be 3 years apart but he was diagnosed right before we were going to try for a 2nd child and that changed our plans to get him extra help he needed. Then I researched and discovered the risk of having more with autism. Now at 4 I feel like I don't want him growing up alone and want him to have someone in this world after we pass away. We did the genetic tests for fragile x and chromosomal mutations and everything came back normal. There were a lot of environmental factors during his pregnancy and the traumatic birth that could have led to his condition but it's unsure. I lived and worked in buildings with black mold while pregnant with him. Lived in an agriculture area with tons of pesticides in the air and pollution from living next to the freeway. His birth was induced he was sunny side up and was bashing into my spine for 22 hours and needed a vacuum to come out. Nobody knows what causes this for sure so it's scary to take the risk again. I'm also scared even if his sibling is NT that they won't be close. I have a sibling I don't speak to because she is an alcoholic and abusive. Having another doesn't guarantee a friend for life. That being said I'm glad I grew up with her I would have been very bored and lonely without her. If I had another more severe than my son I fear I'm not a good enough mom to give them both what they need. My son is so easy going even with special needs he seems more mellow than most NT kids I know. I wouldn't want him to be stressed out with more autism energy in the house. He loves babies and is so gentle I know he would be a loving older brother. It's hard I go back and forth every day but I'm 34 so I need to make a decision before it's too late and I know I would regret it if I didn't try. Rubynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-10640491812738316282017-07-28T14:42:19.528-04:002017-07-28T14:42:19.528-04:00Just what I needed to hearJust what I needed to hearAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-1637203218983953212017-05-04T10:32:02.574-04:002017-05-04T10:32:02.574-04:00I have 5 children in total. One girl and 4 boys. M...I have 5 children in total. One girl and 4 boys. My second child ryan has autism. My last 2 where a set of identical twins born at 28 weeks. One suffered a grade 4 ivh. This has lead to cerabel palsy. I have my work cut out believe me but i dont regret going on to have more. I live my children and special people are blessed with special children. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04400932227901214089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-30963313867296641992017-01-19T05:05:43.119-05:002017-01-19T05:05:43.119-05:00I never had that experience of being a special nee...I never had that experience of being a special needs mom the first time round. Looking back over the past year I suppose I should be grateful but I also feel it was harder for me too. Leahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-60150598317335221942017-01-19T05:02:30.201-05:002017-01-19T05:02:30.201-05:00When I was pregnant with Susan I always wanted thr...When I was pregnant with Susan I always wanted three kids. When Daniel was diagnosed I said I was done. Recently however that desire sprung up once again. We're just waiting till March to start trying for a third. I choose to sit red cheeked and wounded at the park. Leahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-73099557139938230692016-08-03T00:27:39.012-04:002016-08-03T00:27:39.012-04:00I have a 4 year old son with Autism. My daughter i...I have a 4 year old son with Autism. My daughter is 2 she is speech delay but not on the spectrum. When me and my husband got together he always said he wanted 3 kids total. I know the struggle of having a child with disabilities. It's not easy as a parent, family, and life. I keep reading blogs like these to get some feedback to see if I should go with having a 3rd child. To be honest I'am so scared. I was heartbroken when they told me about my son being autistic. I've cried so much & had so many sleepless night because of his diagnosis. I don't know what to do??? I wish you all the best.Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01609639169597755434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-8250995288124093802016-06-28T13:32:48.113-04:002016-06-28T13:32:48.113-04:00I have a son who is almost three. He hasnt been di...I have a son who is almost three. He hasnt been diagnosed with autism yet since hes still under the age of 3. Hes had red flags for autism since he wasnt hitting verbal milestones around 12-15 months. Since then we have done both speech therapy and ABA therapy. We have a daughter as well. Shes almost 2. They are 13 months apart. And she is typical. No delays, no autism.<br />We desperately want a third. We always have wanted a third. We saved every baby item boy and girl for the next baby. But i have recently came upon all this research that if you have one autistic kid, the chances are very very high that you will have another.<br />I cant imagine not having another baby, but i also cant imagine the saddness i will feel if i decide to have another and it is the same or worse off than my son. We are totally torn about what to do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-73680264586142409982016-05-28T12:15:26.859-04:002016-05-28T12:15:26.859-04:00I am actually in the same position. My 4.5 years o...I am actually in the same position. My 4.5 years old son has autism and l've been wanting to have another baby since even before he was diagnosed. Anyway, this afternoon after observing him tried to play along with a group of kids - he was happy jumping up and down while none of them actually paid any attention to him. That made me feel really sorry for him and the thought of having another baby so that he can have a life long friend. I myself am the only child and had no issue of being independent; even love the fact that being on my own helped me to be strong and decisive in most of my life. However, l am not sure if my son will be able to be care for himself because he is a very affectionate kid and love to have people around even though he could not express himself very well. I am 38 years old and honestly if l don't make a decision and fall pregnant by the end of this year, l don't have much time to have another kid at all. Anyway, for all the moms who are pregnant; please try to stay positive and l'll definitely say many prayers to you all. Spindoquanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02995924196828987278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-37498364147587426462016-04-18T14:19:25.485-04:002016-04-18T14:19:25.485-04:00I am in the same position. My son is three. I de...I am in the same position. My son is three. I desperately want another child, but I can't help but think about the next one being the same or worse off. I don't feel right having another, knowing that they may struggle. My son is in therapy 6 days a week. My husband and I both work and we are doing all we can to help him along. I do worry about his future though. Its such a hard decisionDoreenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04764429274703759398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-43985972021284866732016-04-11T01:32:04.592-04:002016-04-11T01:32:04.592-04:00We have one child with autism. He has severe socia...<br />We have one child with autism. He has severe social anxiety. He has very limited or no verbal communication in public.<br />We have worked very hard for him in regards to his therapy and still continue to do so. <br />Every time me and my wife would have a discussion of having another child, I couldn't find an answer as to why I would want to bring an another child in to <br />this world with a higher chance of this condition. I have read and spoken to many people who say that they will be better with sibiling love and company, but what if that second child is also autistic, they would'nt even acknowledge<br />each others presence. This again dependeds on many factors, how severe the condition is and what level are they diagnosed at.<br />And this gets even harder for families that doesn't have any extended family support, such as grand parents. <br />It is really challenging to take care of our son by ourselves sometimes. I strongly believe that any child with special needs need their parents support and care more than anything. The reason I say that<br />is because parents are the one who understand them more than any one and it is also the same from the childs point of view, they feel more comfortable <br />to have their parents around. If you have two children with special condition, you cannot help both of them and also have time for yourself. It is the skills that you <br />teach them today is what is going to help them to live a reasonably happy life. Many people whom I have spoken to<br />agree that the sooner you make them independent the better it is for them. This is the main objective of therapy. <br />To enable them with skills that they can later use. In our case seeing our son he is behind at least<br />by 2 to 3 years to that of a normal child of same age in social skills. As parents we do everything that we learned from therapy and group therapies with our son. And it<br />seems to be working well. Recently we have also enrolled him to a mainstream school and we are working with his teacher.<br /><br />I am not trying to judge anyone, I am only trying to share my experience. I don't believe that this also true<br />for every one, one has to decide based on their family circumstances.<br /><br />One thing is true, that is we cannot conclusively say that this is right or that is right. It applies on a case by case basis.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-52980159235032384092016-04-11T00:32:51.321-04:002016-04-11T00:32:51.321-04:00Please don't get me wrong, but the word "...Please don't get me wrong, but the word "special needs" is a very broad term. Not every child with special needs always learn from siblings. Some of them need a lot of special care and complete attention of at least one adult or more in few cases.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-50293268940255829022016-03-29T22:53:51.831-04:002016-03-29T22:53:51.831-04:00Interesting post. My life, actually. We have 4 kid...Interesting post. My life, actually. We have 4 kids, our youngest is 4 and our only child with autism. She's nonverbal and has severe social anxiety.... I'm pregnant with a girl, due September 3 2016. And, I'm scared beyond belief. Prayers are welcomed. ♡Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-2256944687845053512016-03-29T10:34:29.071-04:002016-03-29T10:34:29.071-04:00I have a normal, if not advanced and energetic tod...I have a normal, if not advanced and energetic toddler. Exactly two years later we had a second child who suffered several large strokes shortly after birth. She has just been diagnosed with CP. I would love to have another baby, not right away, maybe in 4 years but i'm nervous about handeling them all. I would love for my oldest to have other healthy siblings...but if my daughter with CP needs a wheel chair, how can i also push a baby carriage? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-17342702694930442622015-12-01T10:21:57.083-05:002015-12-01T10:21:57.083-05:00Yes, the higher risk is 1 in 5.Yes, the higher risk is 1 in 5.Ariannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03516485892895110083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-89652287292566222682014-10-13T21:34:15.764-04:002014-10-13T21:34:15.764-04:00Anonymous, I think one good thing to do is consult...Anonymous, I think one good thing to do is consult with experts at her son's school/the guidance counselor and therapists he sees to get advice on what, ultimately, you might be able to do once the baby arrives. You might also see if you can find a behavioral therapist in your area to consult with. Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-19609830852557917302014-10-10T21:36:53.743-04:002014-10-10T21:36:53.743-04:00Ok here it is, my wife and I found out were expect...Ok here it is, my wife and I found out were expecting a baby I am 42 she is 40 so were kind of worried about that, here is out issue she has a 18 yr old son with autism and at times is very aggressive, has grabbed our dog around the neck a few times because he was angry we are worried he will do this to a baby, we are Christians and do not believe in abortion I mean that would really eat at us, but we are worried about the safety of this baby, what would you do just looking for advise. My wife has been sick a lot of course that is morning sickness but the stress is wearing on her, I need adviseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-58333918668963072972014-06-21T11:52:10.497-04:002014-06-21T11:52:10.497-04:00My thoughts exactly! My main concern is that havin...My thoughts exactly! My main concern is that having a typical child after having 1 with special needs, is that for that second child's entire life we'll be 'training' him/her to be a caregiver for a sibling. Maybe I'm wrong but what a life of responsibility to raise someone into! it feels unfair, and if a 2nd is also special needs then what? who takes care of them? just keep em coming until i have a typical one? i guess all in all have another if YOU just want more- DON'T have one to raise them into a lifelong duty against their will, it's not right- it should be a choice and i think if you raise caring children they will naturally care for a sibling, but don't expect it! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-1566414678759655902014-05-17T10:52:52.443-04:002014-05-17T10:52:52.443-04:00my oldest (A) has with dcd along with adhd, he als...my oldest (A) has with dcd along with adhd, he also has some asd traits but was never diagnosed for it. I had my other child (J) before we actually knew what was going on with my oldest. My youngest ( J) does not share any of the delays my oldest(A) had.He was right on track even ahead of where he should be developmentally.Then the day before Easter this year he suddenly started having seizures. First a myoclonic, then a tonic clonic. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance, and released later that day,only to wake the next morning with 3 more myoclonic seizures. He is now on keppra and doing well so far. But they are thinking he may have something called Doose syndrome. Granted some days are harder than others when you have two kids with different neurological disorders but even if I had known this would happen, it wouldn't have changed how I felt about having another child. In fact it has been beneficial to the entire family, my oldest with social, speech and even physical development and my youngest has someone who is always looking out for him , and I can relax a little bit more knowing that they have each other <3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-46898221620697489472014-05-17T09:23:34.666-04:002014-05-17T09:23:34.666-04:00We have three beautiful children. Our oldest daugh...We have three beautiful children. Our oldest daughter who is 6 is typically developed and our middle child a boy who is 5 had level 3 autism. It was a hard decision whether or not we should have another child because of this. We decided that we wanted another child but through adoption because the risk was too high for us to have another child with autism. However our third child a boy who is 2 had something else in mind. When I gave birth to him all I thought everyday was is he going to be okay and we received the news last Tuesday that he is level 3 autistic disorder as well. So I understand how this is a hard decision for everyone. We would not change anything for the world our boys are awesome but they have a long road ahead of them and so do we. It takes a village to raise these kids and the more support you can get the better, that is what we lack and it is hard. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-86820989608596221982014-01-13T07:34:50.400-05:002014-01-13T07:34:50.400-05:00I struggle with this too. My first and only child ...I struggle with this too. My first and only child was diagnosed with Prader-Willi syndrome and has physical and developmental delays. I panic about having another child a) it would take all focus off my daughter and I may miss something that would impede her development b) I would stress about the other child as much as this one and I don't know that I (or my other half) could handle me and c) what if I had another child with special needs? There just would not be the time to put the acare in that we have with our daughter and I would feel guilty. <br />However, panic aside, we always wanted more than one child. I think it will have benefits for us as parents and for our daughter. I grew up as one of three and I treasure the relationships I have with my siblings, it's a fantastic relationship. I would hope that any new sibling would care for our special child on some level, as I would if I had a "normal" child. I would never let them devote their life to caring for them I want them to have their own life. But just to know there is someone else on the planet who will have our childs best interests at heart and could oversee them from a distance if anything should happen to us is a nice thought. <br />Still reluctant to get pregnant though.....!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-82019218587233727412013-12-19T13:26:56.941-05:002013-12-19T13:26:56.941-05:00One of my daughters has spastic monoplegia. She is...One of my daughters has spastic monoplegia. She is mostly typical although she has extra needs. I'm not certain I want to have more children now either. I had twins the first time around. <br /><br />K I know what you mean and I dont expect my NT child to take care of her sister. She's 2, she's just not cognitively or emotionally ready and its my job in any case. I dont want to spoil her childhood. My partner agrees with me. Taranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-11803210190705791902013-12-17T22:23:21.462-05:002013-12-17T22:23:21.462-05:00My son is 3 and has a rare neurological disorder t...My son is 3 and has a rare neurological disorder that occurs in 1 in 10,000 births. No known cause. He is more typical but he does have his quirks and as of now, I don't know what the future holds for him. I just found out yesterday I am pregnant. I wasn't even sure I wanted another one and was on the pill. I am freaking out right now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-73603676566973615012013-12-14T19:00:11.935-05:002013-12-14T19:00:11.935-05:00My 2 year old son has just been diagnosed with aut...My 2 year old son has just been diagnosed with autism and I am currently 7 months pregnant with a boy. I am so all over the place right now and to top it all off I am in bits that my unborn son has a higher chance of having it. My head feels like its going to EXPLODE! Does anyone know the what the higher risk is?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401303964563152307.post-39079732636205379572013-07-18T15:39:42.154-04:002013-07-18T15:39:42.154-04:00Thank you for your honesty! I sometimes feel bad f...Thank you for your honesty! I sometimes feel bad for wanting a daughter I will be able to chat about books with and natter on the phone to. I love my daughter very much, but that will never be possible with her. Maybe there will be a third child some day... Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com