Friday, December 15, 2017

The Disability Blogger Weekend Link-up: Share and share alike


What to do if you're new here

This is a place to share a recent favorite post you've written, or read. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post. Where it says "Your name" put the name of the blog followed by the title of the post you want to share (or just the name of the post, if there's no room—you get 80 characters).

Like this: Great gifts for kids and teens with disabilities: Holiday Guide 2017

Where it says "Your URL" put the direct link to the post.

Click "Enter." Leave a comment if you want to say more. Go check out some great posts.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Hey Eminem rap this: It's by the mom of someone you dissed


Hey Eminem I finally heard Walk on Water, your new song
Hear me out, now don't get me wrong
When you rapped
God's given me all this
Still I feel no different regardless
Kids look to me like a god, this is retarded
I couldn't believe you
Really, that's the best you could do?
I think you're a genius even if you ain't no Jesus
But you dissed my boy Max and people like him
He's got a disability yet he's still a basic human being

That r-word demeans an entire population
It makes people think those like my son
Are jokes, losers, stupid, pathetic no-ones
Years ago mental retardation was a medical description
Then it got out of control, it became demeaning
Now the term is outdated
It should be cremated
Here, try your name in its place:
I'm such an Eminem, I let people down
See, it's a slam even if it's not said to someone's face

Maybe you didn't get the memo so consider yourself served
This population you're slamming, it's respect they deserve
That's not too much to ask for, except
Lots of people think it's funny or cool to keep using that word
I see it all over social media hashtag #ithurts
If you think being a rap star is hard
Try being a person who gets the label of 'tard

What's that, you say, it's just a word
Get a grip, don't flip, only sticks and stones break bones
Yeah, well, don't give me that
My son has enough stereotypes to overcome in this world
People often only see his disability
None of the ability
And when that word keeps getting passed around
You all keep kicking him down and down

This isn't about freedom of speech
Or trying to preach
It's a slur, that's the truth, I'm no liar
Sorry, I'm not available for hire
You're a master of words
So it's pretty absurd
That's the only one you could use
Here let me help you out:
God's given me all this
Still I feel no different regardless
Kids look to me like a god, this sh*t is hard

If you had a child with intellectual disability
Maybe you would have more civility
You wouldn't want people slamming him
For me, that's exactly what's happening
I'm raising an amazing boy who deserves better than this
Someday he'll stand up for himself
But for now, I'm gonna get all Mama Bear
So here I am, asking you to care

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

The mayor of the doctor's office


Max headed to the pediatrician's last night for his annual checkup. He's perfectly fine with going there. I, of course, remember the meltdowns he used to have in the waiting room when he was younger. I'm thrilled that visits are now a non-event, but I'm haunted by the screeches of ghosts past.

Dave took him, and came home with a glowing report from the doctor about how much Max has grown, along with the observation that Max was the mayor of the doctor's office. I'd seen it the other week, when I brought him in for a quick check on something. First, Max stood at the reception desk and chatted with the receptionist.

"How are you?" he asked. "What are you doing?"

When the nurse took us back to an exam room, Max wandered out as we waited for the doctor and headed to the nurses station. He leaned over the giant desk, rested on his arms, grinned at the ladies and just hung out there, like he was some suave dude who'd sauntered up to a bar and was trying to hit on babes. Who knows? He is fifteen. Hmmm, that might be a first: a pediatric patient trying to pick up the nurses.

Another possible first at the pediatrician's: the patient who only wanted to talk about his trip to Las Vegas.

"I've never been there," said one nurse.

"Me, either!" announced Max. "It's my first time!"

"Are you going to gamble?" another asked.

"No!" said Max. "I'm eating at Benihana's!"

Then Max wanted to make sure he wasn't getting any shots. Nope!

I love watching this side of Max. He's generally pretty social but when he feels comfortable somewhere, his confidence soars. He used to behave the same way at his old school; after he got off the bus in the morning, he'd saunter around, say hello to everyone and give them high-fives.

By this point, the doctor was waiting for Max in the room. He told her all about Las Vegas as well. (He'll be writing about it here, soon.)

As Max walked out of the office, he bumped into a nurse who's known him since he was a kid and he gave her a hug.

"Max, I just love you," a nurse said.

"Fireman Max!" he informed her.

Swoon.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

23 thoughts that go through your head when you find sprinkles all over the kitchen floor


1. How could someone not have noticed they scattered sprinkles all over the kitchen floor when they downed a slice of leftover birthday cake? OK, technically, the sprinkles are mostly by the fridge but still: they are glaringly obvious. You can't not notice them...unless you are the person who did this.

2. Was it your tween? Your partner? Totally annoying either way.

3. It's like they did a Mexican hat dance all over the sprinkles and ground them into the floor so that now some tiles have rainbow-colored grout and that's going to be even more of a pain to get out.

4. As if I didn't have enough to do.

5. It's like they were raised by wolves or something! Unless it was your tween who did this, in which case the wolf is....you. Oh.

6. I mean, how do you not see a huge scattering of blue, yellow, orange, green, red and pink sprinkles just lying there in plain sight? How how how how how?

7. Or, wait, did they notice and not care? That's practically evil! Double aaaaaaaaargh!!!

8. I wish I were a person who didn't notice sprinkles all over the kitchen floor and/or care, but I do, so even though it is 9:43 p.m., I am going to clean up the damn sprinkles.

9. Why am I the only person in the house who cares about the cleanliness of the kitchen floor?

10. Do people think the floor magically cleans itself? Seriously. WHO DO THEY THINK CLEANS THE FLOOR AFTER SNACKS AND MEALS? Only the two-year-old gets a free pass. At least until he's three.

11. Hmmm, what if I didn't clean up the sprinkles: Would they still be there tomorrow? The day after? Next week? Next month? Next year? Maybe one of these days I should conduct an experiment and leave the crumbs on the floor and see what happens.

12. But I don't think I could survive for more than a day with these sprinkles just lying there. I'm pretty sure this does not make me anal-retentive. I mean, wouldn't any reasonable person not want to see sprinkles lying on their kitchen floor, other than the people in my house?

13. WHAT IS THIS?! MORE SPRINKLES UNDER THE KITCHEN CHAIR?! AND CAKE CRUMBS, TOO?! AND SMEARS OF WHITE ICING ON THE COUNTERTOP? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

14. And, wait for it, a dirty fork in the kitchen sink! Like, it would take them all of five seconds to toss it into the dishwasher. Why do they not have those five seconds? WHO DO THEY THINK PUTS ALL THE SILVERWARE AND DISHES THEY LEAVE IN THE SINK INTO THE DISHWASHER?

15. What did I do with all my free time before I had to clean up after everyone's mess?

16. Reminders don't work. Threats don't work. Begging doesn't work. Is there any known cure for families who leave crap all over the kitchen floor?

17. Getting down on your hands and knees to pick up the sprinkles, crumbs and other crud your family leaves on the kitchen floor is both demeaning and seriously undignified when you think about it and it also sucks whatever vestiges of fun spontaneous youthfulness you still possess right out of you because there you are, some lady crawling under the kitchen table with a wet paper towel at 9:47 p.m. attempting to mop up crumbs, so it's best not to think about it.

18. Then again: AS IF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO.

19. Dustbusters are God's gift to moms but, sadly, they will not readily suck up rainbow-colored sprinkle grout or anything soggy or gloppy like pasta, rice, oatmeal, tofu and bits of fruit or salad. Don't even get me started on couscous. If someone invented a Dustbuster for soggy stuff, they'd make a killing. Meanwhile, I will persist in running the Dustbuster back and forth over the sprinkle grout or couscous or soggy whatever for at least a minute, hoping that somehow the Dustbuster will grab it but in the process, further pulverizing it so that by the time I finally give up on Dustbustering, there are now lots of pieces of soggy stuff. I will never learn.

20.  Too bad clearing away sprinkles, crumbs and other crap from your kitchen floor doesn't burn major calories because if it did, I'd look like Gigi Hadad. It is doubtful, however, that Gigi Hadad crawls under kitchen tables to Dustbust sprinkle grout.

21. I will not be looking like Gigi Hadad anytime soon, though, because now that I've cleaned everything up, I am helping myself to a big old slice of birthday cake. Maybe it'll help alleviate my rainbow-colored resentment.

22. You can be quite sure that I will not be leaving sprinkles on the floor for someone else to clean up. Because I am not that sort of person!

23. Not that anyone would notice if I left sprinkles all over the kitchen floor.

Monday, December 11, 2017

What you don't know when you become a special needs mom


Yesterday was Max's 15th birthday. Fifteen years of the cuteness, brightness, determination,  stubbornness, brightness, charm, curiosity and cheerfulness that is Max.

When he had a stroke at birth, I was traumatized. When doctors gave us dire predictions about his future, I despaired. When Max had developmental delays, I was worried sick.

I couldn't have known so much back then: about him, his future and the kind of parent I'd be.

I couldn't have known that having a child with disabilities wasn't the end of the world—it was an opening to a new one.

I couldn't have known that those doctors did not know everything. Yes, Max would grow up to have some physical and cognitive challenges. He would also have plenty of abilities. He is a mix of strengths and weaknesses...like any human being.

I couldn't have known that I wouldn't just learn to accept, I'd forget. I don't sit around thinking about Max's cerebral palsy. Sure, there are times when I wish things came easier. The other day, Ben reached up to Max to pick him up and I felt a twinge of sadness; Max can't hold his toddler brother, because his arms aren't up to it. Mostly, though, I'm not thinking about the way his limbs move because he is just Max, my teenage boy. At times, he's a joy. At times, he is a pain in the butt...like any of my children.

I couldn't have known how much joy I'd find in the inchstones. Early on as a parent, I'd torture myself by reading about the developmental milestones—the ones Max wasn't hitting. Would he be able to sit up? Babble? Pick up toys? Walk? I came to take heart in the bits of progress, like when he could sit up supported by a Boppy, when he was able to prop himself up on his arms and then his legs and when he articulated an "m." Taking satisfaction in them was much more heartening then always wondering about the biggies. I quit looking at the baby books and the email updates, and learned to just focus on Max.

I couldn't have known how much strength I'd find in Team Max. I didn't set out to build it; I just tried to find the best doctors, specialists, therapists and schools I could. Some, like his pediatrician and pediatric neurologist, have been with Max since he was a baby. Others have come and gone. But always, I've felt grateful to have good experts guiding both Max and me, along with friends who've always been there to lend perspective, advice and a listening ear.

I couldn't have know how much strength I'd find in me. There is no training for motherhood, let alone training for being your child's advocate. Driven by the desire to give Max every opportunity to succeed, to enable him in any way possible and to make sure he had every asset on his side, I have researched, pushed, prodded, insisted, cajoled, begged, questioned and demanded to make it all happen for Max. I haven't always been successful and man, sometimes I am tired. But I don't beat myself up.  To paraphrase Mick Jagger, you can't always get what you want for your child, but you can try.

I couldn't have known what an outstanding father Dave would be. I was so worried about him in the NICU; I will never forget how he put his head down into his arms on the table when the pediatric neurologist told us that Max had a stroke. He's always been such a warm, loving guy and I figured he'd be a great parent, but he has been the most loving, hands-on, encouraging, do-it-all dad.

I couldn't have known that we'd be able to do typical family things. We go to events, we take trips, we go shopping, we have dinner out, we go to movies, we tease each other. We laugh a lot, we fight, we love—the whole family shebang.

I couldn't have known how enabling technology would be. We take Facebook, Instagram, blogs and our iEverythings for granted these days, but when Max was a little guy there was no social media, parenting blogs were just starting and his communication device was a clunky, heavy one that took forever to program. Then came the iPad and speech apps, which were game-changers for Max. I've found amazing community through this blog and in social media. And we're pretty much still at the start of the tech and online revolution; who knows what will come out down the road.

I couldn't have known that the grief would recede. Max's two weeks in the NICU will always be a painful part of my past, along with the bleakness I felt during his first year. But they are just that: my past. In some ways, they feel like another life I lived. Max is not that poor, sad child. I am not that sad mom.

I couldn't have known Max. Obviously, you never know how that baby you're holding in your arms will turn out. But when you've been told your little guy might never walk or talk and could have vision and hearing problems and cognitive impairment, it is especially impossible to picture a child who will turn out OK, let alone great. And that's my Max. Yes, I still worry about what the future holds for him, but I no longer worry about the person he is. And what a person he is. Max communicates, talking in his own way or using a speech app. He walks; he can't jump or climb, but it's no biggie. He can read. He has issues with fine-motor skills and works through them; when he can't, he knows to ask for help. He is better at directions than I am. He has passions—travel, dining out, movies—and a vision of someday being a firefighter. He's super-social and smiley, and to know him is to adore him.

I couldn't have known. Now, I do.

Friday, December 8, 2017

The Disability Blogger Weekend Link-up: Your posts with the most


What to do if you're new here

This is a place to share a recent favorite post you've written, or read. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post. Where it says "Your name" put the name of the blog followed by the title of the post you want to share (or just the name of the post, if there's no room—you get 80 characters).

Like this: Great gifts for kids and teens with disabilities: Holiday Guide 2017

Where it says "Your URL" put the direct link to the post.

Click "Enter." Leave a comment if you want to say more. Go check out some great posts.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Maybe the best napkin I've ever seen


The napkins were waiting for me on the counter yesterday when I got home from work. I'd been so excited to see them.

"Max, are you going to help make these for Sabrina?" I asked.

"Yes!" he said, super-excited.

The life skills and job training program at Max's school has students make products that are sold, with profits reinvested in the school and students; I'm ordering holiday cards that will pay for a graduation trip. They also offer custom napkins and hand towels for events. It is beyond awesome to be able to support the school this way; see ya, Zazzle!

Sabrina's bat mitzvah is coming up in March. (And, yes, it seems like Max's bar mitzvah was just yesterday.) I've been in touch with Max's awesome teacher at the program about ordering foil-imprinted ones—they have a machine that does that. First, she had to custom order a die (aka a stamp) of the logo we are using for Sabrina's big day from a photoengraver; she fronted the cost for me out of her own pocket.

I talked with Max about making napkins; I thought he might enjoy doing it. He loves going to the program at school; his teacher regularly lets me know that he always shows up with a smile, that he has a great sense of humor and that he's a pleasure to work with. Yep, Max. He is particularly fond of shredding paper. I get that; it's kind of fun. Me, I have a thing for label makers. I put labels on everything except my children because as crazy as life gets I still remember their names. For now, anyway.

As I learned during a recent conversation about Max's job future, he is sampling lots of different types of jobs at school. Who knows, he could be the world's first volunteer firefighter pro paper shredder custom napkin maker. I'm staying open-minded.

When Sabrina came home from basketball practice, she squealed when she saw the napkins. She liked a gray one with a turquoise logo best, so that's what we'll be ordering.

"Max, I want to order five hundred!" she told him.

"OK!" Max said.

Win-win.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Heard at our house this week


The list returns, back by popular demand! Dave is just as neurotic about Ben as he was two years ago! Max is obsessed! Sabrina won't get off her phone and is critical! Ben is talking! Nobody is still picking up after themselves and I am over it!

Heard at our house this week:

"Honey, Ben bumped his head on the door, do you think he's OK?"—Dave

"New choo-choo! ["I need a new toy/book/video involving trains!"]—Ben

"I think Ben is watching too much TV, his brain is going to get destroyed!"—Sabrina

"I'm oh-ing ooh oss vey ass!" ["I'm going to Las Vegas!"]—Max

"See all those crumbs on the kitchen floor? They are not self-cleaning crumbs!"—Me

"I smell poop!" [Dave/me/Max/Sabrina]

"DaddyMommyDaddyMommyDaddyMommy!"—Ben

"I'm oh-ing have eeena alada en oss vey ass!" ["I'm going to have a pina colada in Las Vegas!"]—Max

"Honey, this morning Ben was holding a toy and he kind of poked his finger into it funny and do you think his finger is OK?"—Dave

"Fler aeary shimou fler fler!" [????????????]—Ben

"I am not on my phone all the time!"—Sabrina (when she tears herself away from her phone to talk)

"See those dishes sitting on the table? The maid is off tonight! Clean them up!"—Me

"A B C D E F G H I J L M P NO MORE S T U V Y Z."—Ben

"I'm oh-ing oooh eat at eni-hana en oss vey ass!" ["I'm going to eat at Benihana in Las Vegas!"]—Max

"Honey, I'm taking Ben to the pediatrician!"—Dave

"Mommmmmy, I need new tops/leggings/dresses/necklaces/headbands/all the clothing/all the accessories!"—Sabrina

"Ben, please do not throw your couscous on the floor! Ben! Ben? Sigh."—Me

"I'll all oooh ehn I'm en oss vey ass!" ["I'll call you when I'm in Las Vegas!"]—Max

"Ehn ohm-ing ooh oss vey ass?" ["When can Ben go to Las Vegas?"]—Max

"Yuuuuv you!"—Ben

"The socks/jacket/sweatshirt/pants are staying on the living room floor for the rest of our lives, because I am not picking them up!"—Me

"Honey, what's that bump on his leg?"—Dave

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Torture by siblings


Me: "Ben, give Max a kiss good night!"

Ben: "No!"

This is typically how bedtime goes at our house, and how Ben and Max often interact. At two years old, Ben likes to tease Max. Dave thinks it's because Max takes the TV remote control away from Ben in the early morning hours (they both wake up around 5:30 a.m.). Ben wants to watch videos of trains, Max wants to watch fire engines.

If Max is headed toward the bathroom, Ben will run ahead of him and try to block his way. If Max is picking up something, Ben will push it out of his hands. There are times when Ben has actually attempted to push Max into another room.

Max shrugs this all off, in his usual good-natured way. Ben is just his pesky little brother.  And to Ben, Max is just his pesky older brother. While I wouldn't wish for others to treat Max this way, there's something to be said about not treating him with kid gloves because he's got disabilities.

It's been the same with Sabrina and Max, since they were tots. Even with Max's challenged fine-motor skills, he was able to swat her beloved pacifier right out of her mouth. In return, she liked to tell him his favorite color wasn't purple (it so was) and that he wasn't going to have a birthday party. She also liked to squeeze him really, really tight—aka the "death grip of love," as a friend with two girls once called it.

I'm not sure if Ben's behavior comes from any perceived jealousy of the extra attention Max gets; I know that Sabrina has felt that way, over the years. Or perhaps it really is all rooted in the battle over the TV remote control. Ben sure does love his train videos.

What I do know is that when Max gets home from school, Ben stands on the porch, gleefully shouts "Hiiiiiiiiiiii!" and waves his arms. And at bedtime, after I tell Ben to give Max a kiss, he refuses, Max starts giggling and I say it again, Ben climbs up on the bed and gives him a big old smoocheroo. And then, he gives him another one.

And then I tell him, "Say 'I love you!'"

And Ben says, "Yuv you!"

Typical.

Monday, December 4, 2017

Sometimes, what's holding back our children is us


The school bus showed up the other week as Ben was having a meltdown. Typically, our sitter, Dave or I have walked Max out to the bus in the mornings. From our house to the curb is not far, maybe 50 feet or so. This is the way it's been for years: We walk Max to the bus.

Only on this day, out of necessity, I decided Max was going to do that walk alone. I carried his rolling backpack down the stairs for him. And then, I told him to head to the bus by himself. He flashed me a big grin.

Carefully, he held onto the porch railing and walked down the four steps. Then he grabbed the handle of the backpack and headed over to the bus. The aide helped him get his backpack up. He grabbed the handle on the bus's steps and got himself up there. Then he turned around and gave me a little wave.

First thought: He did it!

Second thought: What took us so long to let him go it alone?

Routines are usually a good thing for Max—it's comforting for him to know what's happening and when. But they're bad in that we all get used to the status quo, and I neglect to encourage independence. It's typically not something Max seeks; we usually have to suggest it. Once we do, though, he's eager.

I've been doing my best to break out. A couple of months ago, I encouraged Max to open the car door and scoot onto the seat. We're still working on fastening his seat belt, and opening the car door handle to get out. During the summer, he walked to a lemonade stand on the next block alone. When his friend Avi comes over to hang out, the two of them go for walks by themselves. 

Over the years, Dave and I have admittedly been slow to stop doing stuff for Max—not because we were reluctant to, but because it was part of our routine and we were on auto-pilot. Feeding Max, holding cups for him, brushing his hair: We had to force ourselves to let go.

I need to keep setting my mind to this, and busting out of the same-old routines. I'm betting Max will start leading the way. This weekend, he wanted to pack for his Las Vegas boys' trip on Thursday. The carry-on luggage was already in his room.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, Max, I just need to get a few things done," I told him.

A couple minutes later, I heard banging. Max was trying to lift the suitcase onto his bed, and succeeded just as I walked in. We zipped it open, hand over hand. He grabbed the pile of clothing that's been sitting on his chest for months now (because he needed to be prepared!) and dumped it all into the suitcase, a technique he inherited from his dad. We zipped it closed together.

I likely would have packed for him otherwise. But Max showed me the way.

Friday, December 1, 2017

The Disability Blogger Weekend Link-up: Go for it!


What to do if you're new here

This is a place to share a recent favorite post you've written, or read. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post. Where it says "Your name" put the name of the blog followed by the title of the post you want to share (or just the name of the post, if there's no room—you get 80 characters).

Like this: Great gifts for kids and teens with disabilities: Holiday Guide 2017

Where it says "Your URL" put the direct link to the post.

Click "Enter." Leave a comment if you want to say more. Go check out some great posts.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Stem cell therapy can help children with cerebral palsy, finds a new study


Stem cell therapy can help children with cerebral palsy, finds the results of a clinical trial at Duke University. It involved 63 children with CP, ages one to six years old, who were infused with their own cord blood (which is chock full of stem cells). Among those who received an adequate dose, both brain connectivity and motor function improved one year after the infusion, per the results published in the Stem Cells Translational Medicine journal.

The study is small, but heartening—especially to this mom. Max had a stem cell infusion eight years ago at Duke University. At six years old, he was on the outer age limits of patients being treated, but I talked my way in there. I'd banked Max's cord blood at birth because my friend Wendy had suggested it and it seemed like a good thing to do. I had no idea.

Years later another friend, Kate, lead me in that direction after she went to a conference and learned that Duke University was doing stem cell infusion trials. While there was no proven benefit for cerebral palsy at the time, I'd read up on the pioneering work of Joanne Kurtzberg, MD, and it seemed promising. In a nutshell, stem cells have the potential to either morph into neurological cells in a person with brain damage, or help spark dormant areas.

Dave and I had always vowed that if it couldn't hurt Max, and it might help, we'd try it. And so, we tried stem cell therapy. There was no MRI done before or after to show results. We did not see any immediate effect. And yet, Max slowly but surely continued to improve in all areas. We will never know whether the stem cell infusion gave him a boost, but to this day I'm grateful that we had the opportunity to do it. It's validating to know about this study.

There's been other recent research, still involving small samples but promising. One study published in the International Journal of Stem Cells found improvement in both gross motor function and cognitive after children were infused with stem cells collected from their bone marrow.

There are no other treatments out there for cerebral palsy. I deeply hope, in years to come, there will be more options that make movement and life easier for Max and others with CP. For now, I'm grateful for stem cell therapy.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

A teen with autism gets arrested for violence: This didn’t have to happen


I read a disturbing post on a Facebook friend's page yesterday. Someone in her circle has a 14-year-old brother with autism who was taken into police custody on Thanksgiving Day. The girl noted that her brother was charged with assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and harassment with a bodily substance.

The story made headlines in their area. The boy's mother, Lisa Berner, called the police after he tried to cut himself several times with a knife then took off. He kicked one officer and fought them as he was put into the car, spitting and attempting to break the car's windows and partition. He was taken to a juvenile detention center, Lisa was told, until he could be taken to a residential facility. At his hearing last weekend, she said he was being treated like a criminal, complete with handcuffs and a jumpsuit.

"I have never been so sad in my life," his sister wrote on Facebook. "He has no idea what any of that means. He has no idea what is going on. Ehren is only 14 years old and deserves a chance.... It took charges being pressed against him for the county to start taking this shit seriously. [They told] my mom to call the police when he started having violent and destructive behaviors, that was the best 'crisis plan' they could offer, in case anyone is wondering why the police were involved in the first place. It should never have went this far."

This is heartbreaking, awful, maddening and downright terrifying if you have a child with autism or other cognitive disabilities. A new analysis by Cornell University published in the American Journal of Public Health, based on data from 8,984 people, found that people with disabilities had a 43 percent higher chance of being arrested by age 28 than those without. One report in 2015 by the National Disability Rights Network found that children with disabilities are disproportionately placed in the juvenile justice system. A data analysis by NBC News this past February found that both black students and ones with disabilities were referred to police at rates disproportionately higher than their white and non-disabled peers.

The need for first responders—police, EMS personnel, firefighters, nurses—to receive training for working with people with disabilities became tragically clear four years ago when Robert Ethan Saylor, a 26-year-old man with Down syndrome, died after being handled by police when he got upset outside a movie theater. It changed how Maryland trains law enforcement officers. As this recent police-teen encounter illuminates, though, youth with autism around the country can run a real risk of arrest depending on who shows up at their home.

There were some solutions mentioned on my friend's Facebook page. One woman noted that Phoenix has a social service agency that sends an ambulance and trained therapists to a scene, and transports a person to a facility if necessary. Another pointed to a dedicated psychiatric emergency facility in Oregon that opened in January of 2017, which provides care for people experiencing a mental health crisis.

Meanwhile, a pair of Ohio lawmakers have proposed a voluntary registration for individuals with autism, speech impairments or other disabilities that hamper communication. Law enforcement officials could only see the information when they looked up a driver's license or license plate. While this may appeal to some parents and family members concerned about safety, it's not hard to understand why some individuals might be opposed to making their disabilities known in a database.

Of course, options for helping individuals with autism in crisis and averting police involvement or arrest is one thing; finding behavioral support to avoid crises in the first place is another, as many parents know all too well. The sad truth is, parents of youth with autism who are acting violently may be left with no choice except to call the police on their own children.

For a year now, Lisa Berner said, she has begged for services to help her son with his violent behaviors. "The minimal services organizations offered us have been inadequate and inappropriate for our situation," she told a reporter. "I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel."

Autism Speaks has information for parents and individuals with autism on creating a handout for emergency situations, plus teaching children and teens how to interact with first responders. There are also law enforcement crisis intervention teams nationwide to call when there is a psychiatric or neurological crisis; their main purpose is pre-arrest jail diversion for those in a mental crisis (click here for a map to find one near you).

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Why are you crying, he wanted to know


I knew that Coco largely took place in the Land of the Dead—one glorious, colorful, sparkly place as only Pixar could make it. I wondered if Max would get what was going on when we went to see it over the weekend. I didn't think he'd be most wondrous of all about why I got weepy.

The movie's about a Mexican boy, Miguel, who dreams of becoming a musician, despite a ban on music in his family owing to a musician who long ago abandoned Miguel's great-great-grandmother and their young daughter (Mama Coco). Miguel ends up meeting his dearly departed relatives on the other side, and embarking on a journey to discover the truth about the skeletons in his family's closet.

Like Up, another Pixar movie that gives me the sobs (OMG that opening montage), the movie touches on tender themes: lost love, family bonds, betrayal, missed opportunities. Max was mesmerized. "Who's that?" he asked a few times, understandably so because there were a whole lot of family members.

I sat there enjoying the movie and relishing Max's enjoyment; it doesn't feel like that long ago he was afraid of movie theaters (Monsters University was the first film he saw in one).

I made it through most of the movie just fine, but there was a scene toward the end that had tears rolling down my face.

"Why are you crying?" Max asked. He does not whisper.

"Because it is making me a little sad, but I'm OK," I said.

"Why?" he persisted.

"Let's be quiet and listen to the move, and we'll talk later," I said.

Max does not like seeing me cry. He doesn't even like it when I laugh so hard that I cry, which happens from time to time. As much as he's matured, he's still figuring out that adults can cry and feel be sad—or mad—but still be OK. If he hears me and Dave having an argument, he has been known to dash out onto our front porch and then ask me incessantly, "I love you Daddy, yes?" (As in: “Do you still love Daddy?”) It's almost enough to stop us from quibbling. Almost.

"It was a very good movie!" Max announced as we walked out. I agreed.

"They died," he said.

"Yes, there were people who died in the movie," I said.

"Your daddy died," he said. He always mentions that when we talk about death, because my dad is the only close family member he's known who has passed away.

"Yes," I said.

And then, I did my best to explain how movies can make you feel sad because you feel for the characters you are watching on screen, and maybe they make you think about things in your own life.

"That movie was about family, and how lucky you are when you have a family who love you," I said. "You have a lot of people who love you, right?"

"Right!" he said. I gave him a hug. "Where are we eating?" he wanted to know, spoken like a teen boy.

Dave called on the way home.

"Mommy cried!" Max reported.

Image from Coco via Disney-Pixar

Monday, November 27, 2017

In honor of my birthday, I popped a pimple


Today's my birthday. Last night, I celebrated by popping a pimple. And I do mean celebrated.

B.C. (Before Children), I had all sorts of beauty rituals: I'd deep condition my hair once a month; give myself facials, complete with a homemade almond/honey scrub; do my own mani/pedis. These days, leaving conditioner in my hair for a whole ten minutes seems like crazy talk. I rarely have the time or inclination to sit around and let polish on my nails dry. Giving my skin TLC never happens, and I'm lucky mine is basically good (thanks, Mom).

To be sure, there was other awesome celebrating, because it would be seriously sad if all I had to show for my big birthday was clearer skin. Dave had a surprise dinner party for me Saturday night at a nice restaurant, with family and friends and balloons and a delicious rainbow birthday cake. Max took me to see Coco. I'll be getting a massage this morning, courtesy of Dave and Sabrina. Also: Dave let me sleep late for five days in a row. (And by "late" I mean 8:15 a.m., because I have lost the talent to sleep late.) It's felt good to get the royal treatment. I just never get the chance to do it for myself. 

The life coaches who regularly spout that mom metaphor "Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then take care of your family" (or risk stress, burnout and death or ALL THREE) clearly never had children or they outsourced them. There are never enough hours in a day to put the oxygen mask on myself.

If I'm not working, I'm playing with my children and/or arguing with them, making meals for them, cleaning up after them, driving or carpooling them somewhere, making sure they don't maim themselves (mainly the two-year-old), responding to emails about them, filling out forms about them, running to Staples for emergency school project supplies for them, signing them up for activities, making doctor and dentist appointments for them, bathing them, nagging them to do their homework, nagging them to get off their iDevices, reading to them, buying stuff online for them at 11:30 p.m. or passing out early because of them. Who has time to be vain?

Oh, and another thing about that proverbial oxygen mask: I would not be able to get ahold of said oxygen mask. None of my stuff is my own. The 12-year-old uses up my shower skin scrub and fancypants Chanel skin illuminating fluid. The baby likes to hide my makeup, my Kindle and my phone and generally destroy my stuff; last week, I found my blush brush floating in the toilet. My comfy reading chair is perpetually filled with toys; the room's decor is best described as "Fisher-Price."

Anyhoo, back to my birthday gift to myself. As I was washing up last night I noticed a tiny white bump by the corner of one eye, technically not a pimple but a pesky little milia—a keratin-filled cyst that randomly crops up. You can't pop it, and it doesn't go away on its own; you have to extract it. (I am full of fun skin facts because I used to edit the beauty department at Glamour.) The more I looked at this thing, the more I was convinced it made me look downright elderly.

Now, on every other night of the year I would have shrugged it off and crashed. But this time I decided to get that sucker, because I did not want to look ancient on my birthday. I had some lancets on hand, the kind for diabetics—the crappy blood sugar I'd had during pregnancy was coming in handy! The brand seemed oddly appropriate: FreeStyle.

While I likely should not have been trying this at home, years of parenthood has given me Supermom syndrome and I figured I could do it. Twenty minutes later, I was cursing. Trying to poke a minuscule hole into bump near your eye isn't easy. I considered the fact that impaired vision would likely be more of an aging hazard than a white bump by my eye. But see: Supermom syndrome. I persisted, going at it from a new angle.

I'm pretty sure that life coaches would not qualify prodding your face with a diabetes lancet as an act of putting on an oxygen mask. While it didn't exactly feel pampering, at some point it started to feel good to be focused on my skin. Zen, almost. I put a gel mask on the rest of my face and slathered  lotion on my feet. I plucked my neglected brows. I was going to be a veritable goddess by my birthday.

Ten minutes later, victory! It was out. The area was red and irritated but hey, I looked infinitely younger (in my mind) without that white bump. I'd forgotten how satisfying it can be to pop a spot on your face. Not quite as satisfying as having children, but close!

I applied antibiotic ointment. I read Facebook birthday messages. I felt a little freaked out that Google knew it was my birthday (there was a doodle with candles and the message "Happy Birthday, Ellen!"). I pondered entering a new decade of life. I made a resolution to do the occasional face mask and scrub and, at the very least, take time to apply hand lotion.

By this point, everyone was asleep. I headed upstairs to our attic where I could hide and sleep in this morning. I may still be there.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Great Gifts For Kids And Teens With Disabilities: Holiday Guide 2017


If you're looking for great gifts and toys for children or teens with cerebral palsy, autism, Down syndrome, sensory issues or other disabilities, cross that to-do off your long list! Here's a curated roundup of toys, crafts, games and fidgets—new and classic—that help with fine-motor skills, gross-motor skills, cognition, communication, social skills, chilling out and having f-u-n, recommended by parents, teachers and therapists.

As usual, I didn't include ages because what works for your child works (although if yours has a tendency to swallow objects, mind the "choking hazard" warning on packaging). It's also a good idea to check in with your therapists. New this year: a section with extra ideas for tweens and teens. 

The photos are clickable for shopping. The prices listed may change, but the enjoyment won't.

TOYS AND CRAFTS THAT HELP WITH FINE-MOTOR SKILLS


Carnival Knockdown Challenge (Lakeshore, $29.99)
Carnival in your living room! Kids will be excited to press down on the adjustable launcher to fling balls at the targets, which are close to four inches tall.


Bristle Blocks 50-Piece Bucket (Battat, $16.66)
Blocks that need to fit together just so can be frustrating (and sometimes impossible) for children with fine-motor skill issues, but not these classics: the soft, interlocking bristles stick together at any angle.


Free Play Magnatab (Kid O, $22.39)
Use the magnetic stylus to manipulate the metal balls into the holes, then push them down and start all over again (with no risk of the balls scattering everywhere). A great toy to take along on plane rides. There's also a Glow In The Dark version.


Kwik Stix Solid Tempera Paint Sticks (The Pencil Grip, 12 pack, $10.46)
These chunky paint sticks are very grasp-able and glide right onto paper, sans smudges thanks to a fast-drying formula. They just need to be twisted up to use.


Scoop & Learn Ice Cream Cart (LeapFrog, $39.99)
Get your ice-cream right here! As kids grasp the scooper to dole out ice-cream; follow the instructions on the order cards; count to ten by pressing the syrup pump or coin button; listen to the phrases introducing colors, numbers and flavors; and push the cart around, they're working on their fine-motor skills, gross-motor skills, memory and sequencing skills and learning, too. Sweet!


Magnaflex Rainbow Set Construction Kit (WowWee, $29.99)
Kids can stack or zip pieces and put together all kinds of creations using these colorful flexible strips  with magnetic connections (plus circular pieces that can be used as eyes and wheels). Other Magnaflex sets include VehiclesCrittersFun in the Sun and Wearables.


B. Poppitoppy (Battat, $9.99)
Push the lady's head down to make the balls pop like wild—no batteries required. So simple, so fun.


Paper Bag Puppets (Alex Toys, $11.24)
This bestselling kit comes with five colored bag, 260 stickers and paper shapes, chunky glue and easy picture instructions. Making them is half the fun; sticking little hands inside the bag and making puppets move and talk is equally entertaining. Over the years, speech therapists have used puppets to encourage Max to articulate sounds.


Magnetic Bug Toss (Lakeshore, $29.99)
Toss the magnetic bugs at the 16" x 16" board to make them stick—and practice numbers (on one side) and the alphabet (on the other). Includes three bugs with super-strong magnets, and an activity guide with game ideas.


Etch A Sketch Freestyle (Etch A Sketch, $27)
For children with disabilities, this is the user-friendly version of the toy we grew up with—it now comes with a stylus for doodling and drawing. The knobs have been replaced with double-sided stampers for adding shapes and patterns to drawings—but you still have to shake up and down to erase. Work those hands!



Funtime Fishing Bath Toy (Tolo Toys, $13.95)
Kids can do an occupational therapy session right in the tub (but they'll just think they're fishing). Drop the sea creatures into the water, toss out the reel and try to get the magnetic worm to grab the floating fish. Works on hand-eye coordination and dexterity, comes with three fish. Just don't try cook their catch of the day.


Play-Doh Shape and Learn Colors and Shapes (Hasbro, $6.59)
As awesome as Play-Doh is for fine-motor skill practice, it just got better. Use the chunky two-sided cutters to make shapes from Play-Doh, then use the playmats to match, sort and identify. Includes eight cutters for big and small shapes, eight cans of Play-Doh, two double-sided activity mats and an eight-page Together Time Guide. (Also available: Shape and Learn Letters and Language, Shape and Learn Numbers and Counting, Shape and Learn Textures and Tools, Shape and Learn Make and Measure and Shape and Learn Shape a Story.)


Rainbow Egg and Spoon Game (American Educational Products, $27.32)
The goal: Use the grooved wooden spoons to pass one weighted egg to another. Along with refining fine-motor skills, this works on hand-eye coordination, too. Children may require hand-over-hand help.


Do Art Mixed Media Sgraffito (Faber-Castell, $9.99)
It's total DIY scratch art. The kit comes with two art boards, three oil pastels and acrylic paint; color the boards to create a custom scratchboard, then have at it with the wooden stylus and foam brush. There's even a pop-up easel for displaying mini masterpieces.


B. Pet Vet (Battat, $26.50)
Oh noooo: The plush kitty and doggy have boo-boos! Your child can heal them with help from the stethoscope, thermometer and injector.  They'll also enjoy opening the four doors with the keys, practicing their hand-eye coordination in the process.


3-D Feel & Find Play Set (Guidecraft, $21.09)
Encourage grasping and bolster tactile senses with this play game. Dump pieces into the canvas bag (try just a few at once at first) so children can feel around and find the shape that matches the tiles. Includes 20 shapes, 20 matching tiles (both made of rubberwood) and a storage bag.


Budding Builders Tub (K'Nex, $30)
The 100 parts in the tub are large, the colors vibrant, and the fun endless. The rods and connectors are relatively easy to put together and pull apart, though your child may require hand-over-hand guidance. Also works on hand-eye coordination, problem-solving skills, spatial awareness and (of course!) imagination. Comes with building ideas.


Jumbo Farm Counters (Learning Resources, $15.79)
The 30 animals (six each of a cow, horse, rooster, pig and sheep in six colors) help teach counting, sorting, patterning, colors and matching. Since there are holes in the bottom to serve as finger puppets, they can also encourage children to isolate their pointer finger. Old McDonald had...OT!


Dig It Up! Dinosaur Eggs (MindWare, $24.95)
Your archaeologist (aka child) can soak a clay egg in water, then chisel away using one of the 12 tools and instruction sheets to excavate the dinosaur inside. Rinse off the clay and the dino's ready to play. An excavation guidebook helps children classify the dinosaur by similar traits.


Tactile Turn 'N Match ($42, Guidecraft)
It's an OT favorite! Five shapes rotate on a rod, with a different tactile material on each side to match to the ones in the cylinders below.


Stacking Shapes Pegboard (Learning Resources, $16)
Max had the foam version of this plastic board as a kid. We mainly used it to encourage grasping, but it also helped teach colors, shapes, counting and understanding of patterns (key for advanced math skills like counting and order). Comes with 25 pegs in five shapes and five colors.


Jumbo Texture Food Dominoes Set (Guidecraft, $34.61)
The 28 double-sided plastic dominoes (4 inches tall, 2 inches wide, 1/2 inch thick) have textured cutouts of bananas, chicken legs, strawberries, peaches and more that have a similar feel to the real foods. Children can practice their fine-motor skills setting up the piece or toppling them over and get sensory input, too.

TOYS THAT HELP WITH GROSS-MOTOR SKILLS AND CORE STRENGTH



Fisher-Price Think & Learn Teach 'n Tag Movi (Fisher-Price, $37.99)
This new little robot encourages kids to get their bodies and minds moving, with six games (including Red Light, Green Light and Movie Says) in three learn and move modes. Movi also asks questions to engage critical thinking skills, and can bust a dance move. He's got 360 degrees of mobility, two light-up buttons on his head and more than 60 facial expressions, to help kids identify emotions.


Plastic Scooter Board With Handles (Fun and Function, $17.99)
This sit-on-it scooter works on balance and core strength, with contoured handles for support and casters that glide easily and won't destroy wood floors. Wheeeeeeee!


Zoo Jamz Stompin' Fun Drums (VTech, $29.99)
Tap the drum heads and cymbal and they light up; step on the bass pedal and the elephant trunk moves back and forth, triggering bass drum sounds; plunk the keyboard to play tunes. This set has 16 melodies, six songs and four drum styles, and comes with two drum sticks. It encourages motor skills and coordination. Some children might require a seat with support.


Peanut Ball (Fun and Function, available in Small, Medium, Large and XL, $35-$43)
Children can bounce away on this ball, with or without a parent's or therapist's support. The indented shape makes it easier for little legs to grip the sides. Choose the best size from the drop-down menu; the length of your child's arm should be within two inches of the ball length, but also ask your child's physical therapist.


Get Outside Go! Play Spring Ring (Toysmith, $25.95)
Technically, this game is meant to be used outdoors but it'll work anywhere. Your child can use the stretchy discs in any number of ways: He can grasp one (with hand-over-hand assistance if needed) and attempt to bounce a ball on it, he can attempt to catch the balls or other objects thrown toward them, he can play catch with another player or basically anything he conjures up.


Zoom 'n Crawl Monster (Fisher-Price, $19.93)
This dude gets tots moving in a number of ways: First, they can feed the five balls into the monster's mouth to watch them spin. Then they can try to crawl or toddle after the monster as he zooms around on this three wheels and spills the balls out—catch him if they can! Songs, sounds and phrases make the fill-and-spill play even more fun. 


Riverstones (Gonge, $61.17)
These may be a bit of an investment, but they may well make your PT jump up and down in glee. The "stones"—each of which varies in steepness and difficulty—help improve coordination and balance, with a rubber rim to prevent slipping. They're made for children up to 110 pounds. Comes with three large stones and three small ones, which stack for storage.


Super Soft Building Blocks (Constructive Playthings, $37)
The 24 oversized soft velour blocks works both gross-motor and fine-motor skills, along with hand-eye coordination. Kids can practice grasping, lifting, stacking and—what the heck—tossing them all over the place.


Balance Board Maze (Kiddies Paradise, $64.12)
A good one to keep at home for physical therapy sessions (assuming your PT agrees). The challenge: Your child has to move a ball around the top of the balance board, while keeping her balance. Footprint impositions and a smooth rotation surface beneath make it easier. The board's lightweight, so this can also be used by hand.

TOYS & FIDGETS THAT HELP WITH SENSORY NEEDS



Sensory Twistz (Hedstrom, $20)
The 20 1-1/2 inch foam balls can be put together to create different designs all of which twist, turn and swivel. Meanwhile, your child's working on fine-motor skills, critical thinking and problem solving—hello, STEM! The balls have a smooth, uniform texture. BPA, latex and phtalate-free.


Mini Rainmaker
 (Hohner, $11.19)
Makes a soothing rain-like sound; this eight-inch version is easier to grasp than the larger kind.


Sensory Bead Ball (S&S Worldwide, set of three, $17)
Soft, squishy and oh-so-stimulating. The beads help keep the balls from rolling away.


Rain Cloud Tub Toy (Moluk, $14)
Create a rain shower right in your tub: Just submerge the toy in water to fill it up, let it pour, then stop the flow by touching a finger to the top hole—like the effect you get when you put a straw in a cup and place your finger on top to keep the liquid in. It breaks open for cleaning, so you can avoid mold situations. Also comes in handy for rinsing out shampoo. BTA-, phthalate- and latex-free.


Squigglet (Toysmith, $6.08 for one)
Wear it over a wrist, shake it, toss it, whatever!


Primary Science Sensory Tubes (Learning Resources, $29.29)
Kids can fill these solid tubes with solid or liquid—think bells, feathers, popcorn kernels—then shake them up and down or just inhale. Comes with four tubes 12"H x 2 1/2" wide, with dual openings and two lids that twist on and off.


Spiky Sensory Balls
 (Impresa, $11 for a pack of 5)
Firm yet squeezable, kids can clutch these 2.5-inch balls to soothe themselves. Can also be used as a tactile roll or for sensory brushing. Also: they bounce! Free of BPAs, phtalates and latex.


Infinite Loop (We Play, $25)
A soothing way to engage a child who likes repetition (decent fine-motor skills/coordination required to use this solo). Using both hands, children grip the handles of this track in the shape of the number eight (it's 13 x 9 x 2 inches, 14 ounces) and try to keep the ball running repeatedly by opening and closing the tracks.

GAMES THAT SPARK SPEECH, COGNITION & SOCIAL SKILLS


What Are You Feeling? Mirrors (Constructive Playthings, set of two, $25)
Help children match the emotions on their faces to the ones printed on the frame: happy, sad, angry, confused and excited. The other side of the mirror is blank; use the included wipe-off markers to draw your own emotions. Size 8.9"W x 12.15"H, made of wood/acrylic.


Mr. Pencil's Scribble & Write (LeapFrog, $17.19)
A fun way to practice writing letters (upper- and lowercase), shapes and numbers. After Mr. Pencil speaks the name of the number, letter or shape, kids can use the stylus on the touch screen to trace while getting feedback from Mr. Pencil. Then they tap the screen to make it come alive with animation. Or they can draw whatever they want in "free draw" mode. Kids can also practice early spelling by matching letters to their sounds or finding missing letters to spell simple words.


Where Do I Live? (Carson-Della, $15)
Your child's mission: match the animal to the home in this memory game, no reading skills required. Strengths visual discrimination, classification and recall skills. Caution: May cause child to beg you to get a real pet!


Toss 'n Talk About Me Ball (S&S Worldwide, $12)
Get your child to express thoughts, talk about himself and work on catching and grasping a ball—while pumping up his confidence. This 24-inch inflatable ball is printed with prompts ("Pay yourself a compliment"); fill-in-the-blanks ("I am very good at....); and feel-good affirmations ("Believe in yourself"). Play ball!


Pop for Sight Words (Learning Resources, $11)
A game your child can play with you or a therapist, or in a group. It's simple: he grabs one of the pieces of popcorn (aka kid-proof hard cardboard) and reads the simple sight words (such as up, one, did, his, want, please, go). Includes 100 pieces in a cute popcorn box.


Emotions Flash Cards ($12.50, Picture My Picture, $12.50)
Each card in this set of 40 features a full color photograph of a feeling or emotion on one side, and the label on the reverse—happy, tired,  sad, bored, worried, NEEDS CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW. (Oh, wait, that's just me.) Encourages language development, communication and conversation.

AND A BUNCH MORE GIFT IDEAS FOR TWEENS AND TEENS  

• A wallet
• A watch (even better if you can find one in a design related to your child's interest—Max is getting this firefighter logo one).
• A personalized clock. You can get one with a photo and name over at Zazzle. Or try a cool digital clock/iPad holder, like this Jack Skellington Nightmare Before Christmas one.
• A vibrating massager. You can find any number of ones out there. There's also the Squeeze Reliever, a nifty gadget that compresses hands and feet.
• A mall crawl: I did this for both Max and Sabrina, assembling gift cards to favorite restaurants, clothing stores and Starbucks for a mall extravaganza. Because, as we all know, malls are the epicenter of awesome when you're a teen.
• Cool sound-canceling headphones. I've made a list of the best headphones for kids with autism and sensory issues, check it twice!
• A gift card for a local movie theater or an envelope full of tickets. Note if you have a Costco or Sam's Club membership, stop by the customer service desk and ask about discounted packs of tickets.
• Tickets to see a show. In a couple of weeks, Max and I are going to a production of Annie, at his request. One study showed that giving an experiential gift can be even more satisfying than a material one.


A WONDERBOOM Ultra-Portable Wireless Speaker (Ultimate Ears, $81.99)
This wireless Bluetooth wonder is light (just 1.3 pounds), has great sound and 10 hours of battery life, it's waterproof (for use in baths, showers, pools) and it's pretty unbreakable even when dropped. (Trust me on that.)


A Colormax Lamp with a Paintball Decal Base ($22.77)
Soothing and just plain groovy. Other patterns available including Northern Lights, Dot Print, Fireworks and Rainbow).


A set of Zippity-Do-Dot zipper pulls from Elegant Insights Braille Creations
These one-inch pulls, which hook onto zippers and make them easier to manipulate and more stylish, are made of aluminum with a silver-tone clasp. There's room for four Braille cells on each to personalize them with a word or letters. Creator Laura Legendary, who's blind, also makes unique jewelry. For more suggestions for gifts that are made by disabled entrepreneurs, see the 2017 Disability Holiday Gift Guide put together by Emily Ladau at Words I Wheel By.

 

A pair of cool socks from Pals
Pals makes socks—a soft, mostly cotton blend, with acrylic and nylon for stretchiness—that are purposely mismatched. The company's "Manifeesto" is to make kids aware that difference is a good thing, and that we don't all "match" or have to look alike. Available in toddler, kid, and adult sizes. They reach mid-calf, and could be a good fit for DAFOs. A percentage of all sales benefits the Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights.


A Mad for Masks skin extravaganza
Pamper your tween or tween with this Mad for Masks variety pack of masks (Yes To, $9.99, only at Target) and a set of plush washcloths.


A photo blanket
This one's from Collage.com. You can order blankets in various knits—fleece, sherpa, woven—with a few photos or lots and lots of them.

Cheers!

And if you'd like to check out previous Love That Max gift guides...

Great toys for kids with special needs 2016
Great toys for kids with special needs 2015
Great toys for kids with special needs 2014
Great toys for kids with special needs 2013
Great toys for kids with special needs 2012
Great toys for kids with special needs 2011
Great toys for kids with special needs 2010

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