Saturday, April 10, 2010

Oh, the shameless stuff we do for our kids

It's Friday morning, and Max and I are hanging out in town. We have ice-cream (yes, I let my skinny boy eat ice-cream at 10:45 a.m.), browse the kids' section in the bookstore, locate every single purple item in the toy store. Then we pass by the nail salon and Max dashes inside. It's completely packed.

Max is mesmerized by the sight of a lady who is getting tips put on her nails; the manicurist is using some sort of little drill. Max points to himself. "Max, you want that?" I ask. "YES!" he says. Go figure; I am not a tips type of girl but I end up with a seven-year-old boy who wants them.

Max walks over to an open chair and stands there, expectantly. I scoop him up and seat him.

"Is it OK if I pretend to put fake nails on him?" I ask the guy at the counter, who is staring at us.

"What?" he says.

I realize there is a bit of a language barrier. I say it again, slowly: "Can I pretend to put nails on him? Not for real?"

"What 'pretend' mean?" the man asks.

"OK, listen, I will just sit on the chair and PLAY!" I say, and before the guy can say another word I plop into a chair, grab a bottle of nail polish, open it, and make like I'm brushing some onto Max's nails.

I figure this guy will not call the cops on some crazy lady who is pretending to put nail polish on her little boy.

I figure that pretending to put polish on Max will not trigger any lasting gender identity issues.

Of course, within a minute or so Max has had enough and he jumps off the chair. He waves bye to the guy and runs out the door.

"Bye!" I say, and scoot out after him.

Wherever Max leads, I will follow. Although you can bet I will not be walking by any strip clubs with him.



  1. You are really too funny. Can't imagine what that guy is thinking.

  2. Oh the stories we can tell. I love it! Most recently playing the stop go and turn in circle game at the MALL!! haha... what do you do!!

    LOVE it..

    Oh and i am finally giving away something... come look!!

  3. Absolutely, I'm glad the guy was cool about it.

    I'll do just about anything that makes my guys eyes sparkle. I want it all filed away in his bank of sweet memories.

  4. I so thought this blog post was going to end with Max walking out of there with bright purple nails - I am actually just a little disappointed it didn't ;-).

    BUT to be just a little bit more serious, good on you for following him in there in the first place AND for taking over the chair for a minute or two ;-). LOVE IT!

  5. Ellen, you are too funny! Max is lucky to have a mom who is not afraid to give him a mock manicure in the middle of a salon.

  6. That's hilariuos! But the things we do for our kids...good for you!

  7. Great stuff Ellen, I sure hope you are saving all your good material for a book! LOL! Faith has been fascinated lately watching me get dressed in the morning. She will hop over and plant her hand right on my hiney and say "ooodie" when she sees me put my underwear on! It's totally embarrassing but she is figuring stuff out and I can't help but laugh at her!

  8. How funny! I was expecting to see a picture of Max's fingernails painted purple at the end. :) I wonder what the man was thinking as you guys played manicure, LOL.

  9. I have to admit I was waiting to read that you went ahead and painted his nails purple. :-) What would the harm be? Ha ha.
    I agree with staying away from strip clubs. Unless you want a mother/son lap dance. *wink*

  10. That is awesome!!! You are the perfect Mom for Max.

  11. THAT is just perfect. I would so do that.


Thanks for sharing!

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