Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A weird-neighbor story, for your amusement

Vintage Max, on our street.

So, I didn't mean to bum out everyone yesterday morning, especially on a post-vacation Monday morning. I just blog it as I think it. As repentance, I offer up this juicy tidbit.

For as long as we've lived in our house (six years now), the neighbor to the right of us has barely said hello. A guy in his mid-fifties who was always puttering around in his backyard. There was a woman living with him for a few years, then suddenly I never saw her anymore. From what we could see through the shrubbery, his backyard looked like a holy mess, with filled garbage bags lying everywhere. Once, he dumped all these empty alcohol bottles in the little patch of woods across the street from our house, and he got caught and received a citation. Like I said, weird. Very.

Anyway, he moved out last month and a sweet, 100-percent normal elderly couple moved in. On Sunday, I noticed two police cars on our street. I organized a neighborhood watch several years ago, after there was a robbery down the block, and I'm supposed to send e-mail alerts if there's any criminal activity. I called the police dispatcher to see what was up. "Nothing criminal, just an ongoing investigation," he told me.

Cut to last night. I get home late from work because of a delayed train. "The man next door stopped by," Paulet tells me. "He said not to be nervous, there's a police investigation going on because they found some human bones buried in his backyard."


I practically sprint next door. The couple's grandkids were playing in the back of the house and found some bones that seemed human. Cops came by. Then they found a pacifier buried under the deck which, my neighbor said, "Made the cops go crazy." Said bones have been sent out for DNA testing. They'll know the results in a few weeks.

There you have it, a little Desperate Housewives mystery in my neighborhood. But who doesn't have some story about a bizarro neighbor?


  1. eeks that is some seriously juicy stuff there, a bit scary..thank god he moved out of your neighborhood... We have a "WEIRD" guy across the street from us..always has police there but we never know why..and we don't live in a "bad" neighborhood..he's just the bad apple on the block..i wish he'd move haha.
    Thanks for sharing your story

  2. I just have a neighbor who's sons get drunk and then choose my side of the house to puke every time they have a party. Gross but not GROSS! You have to tell us what happens.

  3. OH MY! I have to say that the moment you said there was a lady there for a few years and then she just disappeared I immediately thought "Oh, he killed her and buried her in the back yard!"

    Keep us updated! CREEPY!

    Now go read my 'creepy' blog!

  4. Gulp....that's spooky - imagine if you were your new neighbours who just bought the place?!

    Keep us posted on what happens!

    I've had pretty boring neighbours in the past (to the best of my knowledge!) except for when I lived in a strictly muslim part of Indonesia and lived across from a house that had lots of late night coming and goings. I am so naive I just thought it was students going out a lot. It took ages for me to find out that it was actually a brothel.

    These days, the most 'interesting' neighbour I have, is the slightly intellectually handicapped daughter of the old lady who lives next door, who asks me EVERY time she sees me (at least once a week) if BC is walking yet and suggests (ever time) that I go so the doctor to get some medicine to help him walk. It gets tedious, but I know she means well.

  5. Oh my! Do keep us posted! We've been pretty lucky as far as neighbors go -- we did live in an apartment complex before we were married and the couple above us were obnoxiously loud...but no cops and certainly no human remains! YIKES!

  6. Seriously creepy! I am so glad the guy is long gone. Too bad the woman is too...!

  7. Wow, that is freaky!!! I would be trying to find out all the info. I'm surprised your media outlets haven't gotten wind of it yet.

  8. Um, that's seriously creepy. As in, Lifetime Movie Network creepy. Will I be seeing your neighborhood on there soon??

  9. That is certifiably creepy! I'm glad he's gone.

  10. That is super duper creepy! Bet you're glad now that you didn't try harder to befriend that fruitloop/psycho murderer. Potential psycho murderer, that is.

  11. Who knew you lived on Wysteria lane? I will bring my bodyguard next time I visit!

  12. I was creeped out last night but now I just want to see how this mystery unfolds! What happened isn't nearly as unsettling (well, not yet, anyway!) as the couple who lived upstairs from us when Dave and I were in a condo. The woman would get up at like 5:30 a.m. and walk around their uncarpeted floor in heels. CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK is what I'd wake up to. Even after I asked, she wouldn't stop. I used to get back at her by blasting Polish polkas.

  13. Oh my gosh I cannot imagine! We had one crazy neighbor recently and we finally moved. He would mow his lawn in the rain at 2am...no joke. The police were trying to nab him because he harassed all the other neighbors by mail. He hated our dogs even though they rarely barked. He would leave letters on our fence, and in our mailbox. He would cut our neighbors tree limbs in the middle of night because they were "overgrown" (they weren't). It got so bad the people next to him built a 12 foot fence so he couldn't see their yard. He finally made my husband so angry that I thought my husband was going over the fence..ha. When the police told us to get a gun.....we moved. Although none of that compares to your story...my goodness!!!!

  14. Holy Cow!! You seriously need to keep us updated on what happens. Our newest neighbors move in across the street this fall. They yell at eachother in the front yard at 3 am (even in this below-zero weather). I understand the boyfriend or whatever he is currently has a restraining order. One night during a fight he threw a large dog kennel at their own mailbox and smashed the box up. It's still dented. I fear for the poor girl's safety! I also learned they have small kids, which is probably why they fight in the front yard and wake everyone else up instead. Ugh!! Domestic disputes suck! Still, no one has disappeared!

  15. Um.

    I have an "interesting" neighborhood. But that's a little, HORRIFYING!

    I guess you know what happened to your old (female) neighbor?

  16. Yikes, keep us posted. We have some odd neighbours here as well and I learned quickley NOT to invite the lady next door in, she really likes her pharmaceuticals and is quite difficult to get out of the house once in.

  17. OH MY! I just found your blog but Wow! That's freaky.

  18. Oh My Dog.

    My dad used to live next to an elderly lady whose grandson and wife moved in with her to help her out in her "golden" years. The husband was working all day, and the wife was deaf.

    They brought a large dog that would go absolutely nuts any time there was anyone in our back yard (or the neighbors on the other side), and it would snap and snarl and bark incessantly at the fence. Obviously made it enjoyment of our back yard impossible, because the dog was outside 24/7.

    Dad used to call and complain to the grandma, until one day he spied her "solution" to the problem. She was hitting the dog over the head with a skillet! He stopped calling and went over and had a talk with the grandson instead.

    A few months later the dog was gone. Dad ran into the grandson and mentioned the dog, and the guy told him that the neighbors on the other side had called to complain, and grandma had bashed the dog's brains in and killed it! yikes.

  19. Wow, sounds like something out of a horror movie. i'm curious to find out what the dna tests show.

    I thought my neighbors were bad, but all they do is fight constantly. They scream, curse, and throw things.


Thanks for sharing!

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